this post was submitted on 24 Jun 2023
53 points (100.0% liked)
Chat
7499 readers
8 users here now
Relaxed section for discussion and debate that doesn't fit anywhere else. Whether it's advice, how your week is going, a link that's at the back of your mind, or something like that, it can likely go here.
Subcommunities on Beehaw:
This community's icon was made by Aaron Schneider, under the CC-BY-NC-SA 4.0 license.
founded 2 years ago
MODERATORS
you are viewing a single comment's thread
view the rest of the comments
view the rest of the comments
Dating in general is rough. Apps work for some and not for others. I like reading studies, and the ones on apps always made me feel pretty hopeless. You're definitely not alone in feeling empty interacting with the algorithm. I did the same thing you're doing, joined groups, joined multiple apps to increase my chances and odds, I came and went in activity frequently. My mental health definitely didn't help in the search for a partner.
Married my LTR. We met on a dating app right before COVID hit. We'd crossed paths a few times before and had some mutual acquaintances, but it wasn't until both of us were on the app that we started any interaction. Both of us had basically given up on the apps but were convinced by friends to try it again. I know it's super cliché, but things just clicked and felt right. We had some bumps, but both of us really wanted to make the relationship work.
We stay together because we're comfortable with each other. We're on the same page on most things, we discuss things when we're not. If we need space, we give it. We're open minded, try things on our own and together. Usually when we're apart and experiencing something, one of the first thoughts is "I wish they were here." We're ok with quiet and just existing in the same space, we don't need fancy or extravagant or to always have something going on.
Could we have been with other people and made it? Probably. I'm not a huge 'the one' person, she's probably more than me. However, there's a lot of times she makes me question my stance on that. She's pretty neat and I don't know what I did to deserve her.
Regarding "the one". I think people misunderstand what it means. There is no magical one person out there to find. On the other hand once you find someone they can very well become "your one". That really takes a lifetime though. My wife and I have been together over 25 years and each year has been better and deeper. After the first date mentally I thought it would be over in 3 months.