this post was submitted on 21 Oct 2023
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I do enjoy conversations, I just never get to have them. The weakness comes from drawing a blank and then the conversation dying, and if I try forcing myself to say something anyways, it just ends up like this.
So a tip for that you might not know, just be honest in the conversation. If I’m drawing a blank or need time to think I’ll just tell them “hold on I’m thinking” or “wow that’s super interesting give me a second to think/digest that” and they’ll be okay. You can even say “sorry I’m a little flustered/overwhelmed give me a second”.
Silence is fine, but if you don’t let the other know why there is silence they’ll assume you’re done talking. The more honest during conversations the easier they are I feel. Absolutely no one will judge you for needing time to think and if someone does then they are not people you want to talk with anyways. To make this a habit won’t happen overnight. Do it when you remember and overtime it’ll become a habit.
Being honest is the problem though. Everything I could bring up about myself in a conversation comes up equally and then I never end up choosing any response because if I did it would sound awkward. I'm not saying I ever want to do it, but lying, to everyone's dismay, would actually work better in a conversation. Sadly nobody I have ever spoken to has accepted "give me a moment to come up with a response" as an answer. You'd be the first to not consider it an unrealistic accommodation to provide. You'd also be the first person to not consider silence too underwhelming.
That’s unfortunate that I would be the first. I think everyone deserves to have someone that’ll give them the time of day to talk. I do believe it’s only a matter of time before you find someone IRL that’ll listen to ya.