Living in the U.S. here, so non-American advice may not be the best thing for me, not sure.
I am living with an undiagnosed serious illness (haven't eaten for 45 days.) I am off work on FMLA, which is a thing businesses in the U.S. offer to their employees where you can taker time off and they will keep your job for you, but you don't get paid. We are not exactly poor, but we are going to be surviving for at least a month on a single income. That will be hard, but we'll make it if we cut back.
HOWEVER.
I have $1000 in medical debt, which will just keep climbing, and I also have a cousin who says that he can get me into the best hospital in New York- I'm in Indiana and we're not exactly at the forefront of medicine- to get thoroughly tested. I cannot afford either of these things. We do not have temporary disability insurance.
I have a lot of friends and relatives who might donate, but I feel like such an asshole asking for money. Especially when my wife is working and has a decent job. I've done everything I can since I was 18 to make it on my own and, while I have had to take handouts in the past, it was at the 'this or starve' level, and my doctor hasn't run out of tests to do on me yet, so I wouldn't quite put it like that. And what if the money isn't enough to go to New York and pay for all of this testing? Do I give it all back?
So should I do a GoFundMe? What do you think?
Please, please, please, please do not give me medical advice. I really really do not want medical advice from strangers on the Internet. I leave that to professionals. But I would love this bit of AITA advice.
TL;DR - Very ill, not working, in debt, possible solution in another state. Should I do a GoFundMe?
You are absolutely not an asshole for needing help and asking for it.
Too often people need help but refuse to ask because of pride, embarrassment, or some other reason. To need help and ask for it is brave, not shameful.
It is both pride and embarrassment in my case, that's definitely true. Thanks.
I guess they are sort of the same thing. But I'm a firm believer that being able to identify why you might not want to ask for help (or feel any feeling, really) is an important step to take, because that can give you insight into what solution you want to pursue.
When I saw therapy, this is what was most helpful for me. Being able to identify the underlying reasons for my feelings was a game changer for me.
I agree, it's something that needs to be explored psychologically, but I don't know that I have time to work it out in therapy at this point.
Of course. That makes sense. I just meant to say that I think you being able to point to those things as contributor to why you are hesitant to ask for help is a good thing. 🙂
Agreed.