this post was submitted on 19 Jun 2023
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I think my parents are OK but I don't want to take any big risks. I'm still a minor

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[–] BrooklynMan@lemmy.ml 4 points 1 year ago (1 children)

There’s no real way to know how they will react until you actually come out,not unless they’ve already made their position clear one way or another, and baiting them into such a discussion likely won’t produce the answers you seek.

[–] Bicyclejohn@lemmy.ml 3 points 1 year ago (2 children)

They don't seem to be very bad. One of them is actually accepting. Its just religion is a big thing in the family. Is there any way to bait an answer?

[–] Dislodge3233@feddit.de 3 points 1 year ago (1 children)

I'm not sure how religious they are, but it's better to be safe than sorry. If you are even remotely worried, I'd prepare the following secretly,

  • a go bag with clothes, supplies and extra medication
  • a friend you can spend the night with
  • new passwords on your email, social media, laptops and phone. Encrypt your laptop and phone.
  • new bank account your parents don't know about
  • cash

If possible, leave stuff like clothes and laptops at your friend's house.

I may sound paranoid, but it's one of those situations where paranoid and wrong is better than the alternative. I've seen teens (relatives) get seriously fucked over this stuff.

Parents who were seemingly open minded and rational installed spy software on their children's laptops and phone. Then they didn't allow them to go to college and they had to stay home until they "fixed their behavior". Denied access to money and jobs too.

[–] Bicyclejohn@lemmy.ml 2 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (2 children)

If that's the case I'll just ditch my laptop. Have shit I can sell. Can't own a bank acc. Too young. As fory phone. I'm running grapheneos so that should be ok. Guess I'll stay in the closet for a few years. Assuming I don't stick a knife in my neck.

I have built up a reputation for being a maga but, that should help me stay closeted

If you can't open a bank account then prepaid debit cards are an option, and you can buy them with cash. You may also be able to get a PayPal or cashapp account and they both offer debit cards in the US. I don't recall if those two ask for age or an ID to verify, and venmo may also be an option but I've never used it personally.

[–] GivingEuropeASpook@lemm.ee 0 points 1 year ago (1 children)

I'd also recommend seeing what sort of laws are in your state. Do you know any family that is confirmed to be cool around "the gays"?

Also, I just really wanted to comment because i want you to know that you're not alone out there, and that theres a lot of solace you can find on spaces like these. Tumblr and Reddit were formative for me even though i began identifying as nonbinary yesrs later.

Lastly is there a Gay-Straight Alliance (or the more forward names they call em now but i forget) at your school? Joining a safe space could also help a lot in terms of mental health without necessarily coming out to your parents.

[–] Bicyclejohn@lemmy.ml 0 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Laws are among the best in the world. No confirmed family support

[–] GivingEuropeASpook@lemm.ee 1 points 1 year ago (1 children)
[–] Bicyclejohn@lemmy.ml 1 points 1 year ago (1 children)

School is going good, my 2 friends are supportive

[–] GivingEuropeASpook@lemm.ee 0 points 1 year ago (1 children)

What about the one who "hates" pronouns?

[–] Bicyclejohn@lemmy.ml 1 points 1 year ago (1 children)

He's fine with lgb believes being trans is mental illness. Unaccepting of NB

[–] GivingEuropeASpook@lemm.ee 1 points 1 year ago

😬 cringe

The "lgb" group is kidding themselves if they think by helping the right wing go after gender identity they'll be spared from the culling.

I find that with people who think like that, they can have that view softened up alot if you try and actually ask them to articulate why they think it's a mental illness, but specifically you have to act innocent about it, like you don't understand why it would be a mental illness and you'd like him to explain it to you.

Their response to that can also help inform future steps.

[–] hoyland@beehaw.org 1 points 1 year ago

It depends a lot on the religion. A few are probably positive signs (but then you probably wouldn't be asking), many are real wildcards that are hard to generalize and some are strong negative signs.