this post was submitted on 17 Jun 2023
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I can't help but feel like a lot of the "the internet was better back in the day" is rose colored glasses. Things were just as fragmented, but were even less welcoming to our groups, there was more questionable content that people were trying to trick you into viewing. It definitely wasn't all bad, but it feels like it's coming from the same impulse as every other "things were better back in my day."
A key difference is that nothing was being shoved at you as soon as you got up from the computer.
You can always put your phone down. I also get the pressure to return a text/dm right away, but as far as I can tell no one that I actually want to talk to expects that immediate response.
That was a key thing to finally learn. I'd removed all the people who expected I was on call for them from my life for other reasons, which wasn't an easy process, so everyone left is a reasonable person who texts for non-business reasons with a 1-2 day response expectation, though it's usually much faster. If it's more important, it's a phone call. If they just want to chat, they text to see if I'm available before calling.
I set my phone to not ring unless the number's in my contacts. If someone needs to get a hold of me, they can leave a message ... but never do. I get notifications for weather alerts, text messages, my transit app and when a new xkcd gets posted. I certainly check my email and other apps on occasion, but I don't need notifications.
Other than surrounding yourself with the right people, the whole thing takes minutes once you've hit that mindset.