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@alyaza@beehaw.org is MIA currently, but this weekly thread has been so awesome to see and keep going; so I am making what would be her typical post for this week. Alyaza; stay safe friend, I hope everything is okay.
Beeple, how's your mid week going so far??
just saying, you should definitely invest in therapy if you can afford to and you do not already. it sounds like you're dealing with some difficult relationship mechanics on top of having a rough year in general.
Not exactly the same thing, but when my partner was laid up from a broken leg, I was their primary caretaker and i ran into something similar. I felt very deeply that I was going through a difficult struggle as their caretaker, what with juggling all of the added responsibility with my job and everything. My partner is the person i would usually talk to about this kind of feeling, but anytime I brough it up, they would shut me down, saying that they didn't want to hear how hard i had it while they were also suffering from their painful fracture. My thinking was that we could share our struggles with each other, and that would be healthy, but my partner disagreed, saying that hearing my struggles made them feel bad. When I talked to my therapist about this, she agreed with my perspective, stating that providing emotional support was the least my partner could do. Hearing that from an outside perspective really helped me get through that time.
I'm sorry you're going through it, bud. I hope those new friendships you've been cultivating pan out ❤
Than you for the thoughtful response. It's encouraging to know that someone understands a bit what this is like.
I agree with the therapy idea. It's hard to pick up the phone. I feel like they bombard me with questions I can't answer the moment I call, but I need to get past that discomfort and try. I feel like I've had a really hard time finding a good therapist. I had one for a short amount of time, but she moved away from my state which, I don't blame her.
It's also scary how much money it can cost, but it's my life. I've got to do it.
I hear you! I've been without a therapist for like a year now. I keep meaning to work on finding a new one, but it's hard. Therapy is kind of incompatible with our stupid capitalist healthcare system. Until you find a therapist, you have to treat it like you're shopping around for a new car or something. And of course, adopting and holding that mindset requires executive function, which is the very thing you need therapy to help you improve on. It's a catch-22 😩
The money part is real. With my insurance I was able to get $40 a session, but i'm extremely fortunate to have better employer-based insurance than most folks. And even at $40 a session, there are days where you question if you got your $40 worth.