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What are some dating mistakes you often see when people try seeking a partner? (kbin.melroy.org)

submitted 3 days ago by Nyxicas@kbin.melroy.org to c/asklemmy@lemmy.ml

76 comments fedilink hide all child comments

I have a few.

One is abbreviation hell. Nobody is going to spend the time trying to decipher what you mean when you use over several abbreviations. It is just better if you'd explain than expecting people to understand aside from commonly used abbreviations that are easy to understand.

Another is overstepping your limits for the sake of getting a partner. Compromising your own standards is perhaps one of the worst things you can do when it comes to trying to find dates. Like you're suddenly okay with dating single parents but you don't like children. You're suddenly okay with dating religious people but you're not religious. Things like that. Because it means you're desperate and you're setting yourself up and setting them up for a bad date.

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[–] Dashi@lemmy.world 8 points 3 days ago (1 children)

I've thankfully been in a relationship for over a year. But when I was looking the dead ending the conversation was huge for me, I'd say a third of the matches did it. I used the 3 strikes rule, because sometimes people are busy and they just want to respond but don't have time to continue the flow of the conversation. Which is fine.

I once has a girl follow up 2 weeks later asking why we didn't go on a date? I told her that was the first question she asked me and I felt she wasn't into the conversation.

Don't be so desperate to get into a relationship that you try to carry the whole thing on your shoulders.

[–] jjjalljs@ttrpg.network 9 points 2 days ago

I once has a girl follow up 2 weeks later asking why we didn’t go on a date? I told her that was the first question she asked me and I felt she wasn’t into the conversation.

I do wonder sometimes what they're thinking. Like, do they think the conversation is going well when I have to keep resuscitating it?

I'm told people have "different communication styles", which is fine, but "not asking questions and giving really short answers" doesn't seem like an effective style here. Like, if someone's chatting you up at the bar and you're not interested, then giving short answers can make a kind of sense. But in a dating app where you both showed interest? If you're no longer interested just unmatch.