Transfem
A community for transfeminine people and experiences.
This is a supportive community for all transfeminine or questioning people. Anyone is welcome to participate in this community but disrupting the safety of this space for trans feminine people is unacceptable and will result in moderator action.
Debate surrounding transgender rights or acceptance will result in an immediate ban.
- Please follow the rules of the lemmy.blahaj.zone instance.
- Bigotry of any kind will not be tolerated.
- Gatekeeping will not be tolerated.
- Please be kind and respectful to all.
- Please tag NSFW topics.
- No NSFW image posts.
- Please provide content warnings where appropriate.
- Please do not repost bigoted content here.
Posters may express that they are looking for responses and support from groups with certain experiences (eg. trans people, trans people with supportive parents, trans parents.). Please respect those requests and be mindful that your experience may differ from others here.
To make such a request, at the start of the body of your post, not in the title, the first line should look like the this: [Requesting Engagement from _________]
Some helpful links:
- The Gender Dysphoria Bible // In depth explanation of the different types of gender dysphoria.
- Trans Voice Help // A community here on blahaj.zone for voice training.
- LGBTQ+ Healthcare Directory // A directory of LGBTQ+ accepting Healthcare providers.
- Trans Resistance Network // A US-based mutual aid organization to help trans people facing state violence and legal discrimination.
- TLDEF's Trans Health Project // Advice about insurance claims for gender affirming healthcare and procedures.
- TransLifeLine's ID change Library // A comprehensive guide to changing your name on any US legal document.
- Gender Spectrum // Resources for youth, parents and family, educators, mental health professionals and faith leaders.
Support Hotlines:
- The Trevor Project // Web chat, phone call, and text message LGBTQ+ support hotline.
- TransLifeLine // A US/Canada LGBTQ+ phone support hotline service. The US line has Spanish support.
- LGBT Youthline.ca // A Canadian LGBT hotline support service with phone call and web chat support. (4pm - 9:30pm EST)
- 988lifeline // A US only Crisis hotline with phone call, text and web chat support. Dedicated staff for LGBTQIA+ youth 24/7 on phone service, 3pm to 2am EST for text and web chat.
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Girl(?), if my experience is any indicator of how this shit works, you've been feeling dysphoric the whole time, you just pushed it away so you didn't feel it. However, it was still there, hurting you in ways you couldn't see.
Pretty much ya. I had never really thought that my dysphoria could be hurting me. It's just always been something I carry around, and I've treated it like any other unfulfillable desire. It definitely made me more anti-social, and instead of seeking out a girl friend i was happy to fantasize about being a girl. I'm not completely disgusted by my own body like I've read others are, which probably helped with coping too.
I sobered up a couple years ago and have started to face the reality thst I'm getting older. With that has come a realization that my dysphoria has probably significantly hampered my life.
Okay, rule number 1 about transitioning: The best time to start was for almost all of us a number of years in the past. The second best time is now. Itβs never too late!
I carried the same weight until I came out at 32, and let me tell you, it's heavier than you'll ever realize until you put it down and start unpacking it. But the change in my life in just over a year has been literally unbelievable.
My heart goes out to you internet stranger. If you're willing to share more, I'd love to hear how your life had changed for the better.
Different stranger here: I actually started to like myself and enjoy living, things everyone takes for granted. I couldn't have imagined this much happiness was even possible, but it's my normal now! Now I smile, laugh, talk to people, and feel like an actual person! It's amazing how much improved now that I've been reducing that constant itch of wrongness!
It's hard to quantify in some ways, but the biggest thing is I can stand to be me now. I'm in therapy to help deal with all the emotions that come with finally not repressing everything, and boy is that hard to deal with sometimes, but I actively want to deal with it.
So as cheesy as it is, transitioning has actually given me hope for the future.
It's made me extremely antisocial and basically incapable of functioning as an adult. I thought there was something very, very wrong with me, because here I was, an otherwise "normal" adult who just couldn't function for seemingly no reason. I'd shoved the feelings away so well when I was a teenager (because I didn't know that being trans was an option, among other things) that I forgot how bad they were. After coming out I suddenly began remembering all the self-hatred, self-disgust and so forth, and even though I haven't started hrt yet, it's made it way easier to love myself when I can look at my body and say, "it won't be much longer..."
Who's a good girl? You are! You're a good girl! I know that you're a good girl because you're asking these kinds of questions about yourself and because you want to support your friend. I also know that if you're anything like me then your feelings are currently doing backflips screaming, "that's me, that's me! Aaaaaaaaaaa, call me that again, again, again!"
Don't wait sweetie, it sounds like you and your newly discovered trans friend have a lot of things you could do together, like trying to find cute clothes that fit! Just be careful you don't accidentally overwhelm her, she's going through some Big Feels too, but having you there will probably help a lot.
And try to avoid focusing on the imperfections. That was something I used for a long time to talk myself out of it. Try to find silver linings instead.
I believe in you sweetie, you can do it. Be the best girl you can be. I know you can!
Edit: oh yeah, if you're into gaming and already have a decent PC, look into VRChat. VR headsets should be mandatory for trans people. 10/10 euphoria generator (though personally I found it difficult to get immersed until I got leg and hip trackers).
Thank you so so much
Also if you like being called a "good girl" and you're not a furry, go get connected with some furry groups and tell them you like being called a good girl and you will get called it a lot. We love telling beans they're good girls and good boys. (I highly recommend looking for local groups before branching out, and you might be surprised how many of us there are. Even if you don't have IRL contact with them, knowing that you can reach out to them IRL makes a massive difference)
This, so much! It's a lot of suppressed feelings.
Brainfog, just feeling generally meh, that is part of it.