Cars - For Car Enthusiasts

Consider this beehive kicked: The Eclipse was crap long before they tried to bloat it into a crossover SUV. Mitsubishi killed it by continuing to sell the things knowing damn well they had faulty sumps and oil pumps, so they'd constantly starve of oil and then explode. My sister's Eclipse was the only car I've ever witnessed to melt its own radiator. I think that pointless hump in the hood was actually to have a space to contain all your cams and valves when they left the chat at highway speed.

And then, back in the day it was Mitsubishi and not Kia or Nissan who were so desperate for sales that their dealerships were instructed to finance any moron at punitive interest no matter the risk and put them in a brand new base Eclipse or, occasionally, a Galant. Bad credit? No credit? No eyesight? No pulse? No problem!

So the early 2000's equivalent of "Big Altima Energy" was you inevitably found that any unexploded Eclipse driven by anyone who wasn't a tuner was instead being piloted by somebody who had no business whatsoever operating a motor vehicle. Sure, that was really a problem with the drivers and not the car, but it means that to this very day every time you see one you still let out that disgruntled sigh and give it an extra couple of car lengths of room.

I await with interest my imminent crucifixion by angry Eclipse owners, now. Go on, give it to me. I am invincible!