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Somebody, check this asshole’s closet for decomposing baby corpses.
It's Greg Abbott. He's crooked AF.
Wanna hear a fun story?
He's in that wheelchair because a neighbor's tree had a limb fall on him in '89. He sued and has gotten over 8.9 million dollars out of the deal. After he gained a position in the Texas government, he passed tort reform laws in Texas that capped everyone else's max payout to 250,000. He's the definition of a "Fuck you, I got mine." Republican.
He's my governor. But I sure as hell haven't voted for him.
I hope his caretaker forgets to lock his wheels and he rolls off a stage, down the street, and into a fire caused by CenterPoint's lack of vegetative maintenance.
You're welcome to come up here. We love our governor. enough that we might abduct him to keep him from being VP. (it's okay. peggy gonna be great too.)
It's funny. I've always heard getting struck by lightning as being described as an act of god. Which really just makes me wonder... would the Secret Service or FBI notice that giant tesla coil left randomly on stage?
Look, if you want lightning I've got a model rocket, a guide wire, and a weather tracker.
Just tell me where you want your act of god and I'll get it all squared away.
If it helps save democracy, its a sacrifice us Minnesotans are happy to make.
Tbh, it’s not even that much of a sacrifice. I honestly believe Peggy (our alt gov, for those wondering,) will be just as good.
But seriously. It’s like sharing ice cream. I’ll share because it’s the right thing, and I’ll even say I’m happy to. Im not being entirely honest though.
He’s that good. And so was Izzy’s Swedish garden party.