Transfem
A community for transfeminine people and experiences.
This is a supportive community for all transfeminine or questioning people. Anyone is welcome to participate in this community but disrupting the safety of this space for trans feminine people is unacceptable and will result in moderator action.
Debate surrounding transgender rights or acceptance will result in an immediate ban.
- Please follow the rules of the lemmy.blahaj.zone instance.
- Bigotry of any kind will not be tolerated.
- Gatekeeping will not be tolerated.
- Please be kind and respectful to all.
- Please tag NSFW topics.
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Posters may express that they are looking for responses and support from groups with certain experiences (eg. trans people, trans people with supportive parents, trans parents.). Please respect those requests and be mindful that your experience may differ from others here.
To make such a request, at the start of the body of your post, not in the title, the first line should look like the this: [Requesting Engagement from _________]
Some helpful links:
- The Gender Dysphoria Bible // In depth explanation of the different types of gender dysphoria.
- Trans Voice Help // A community here on blahaj.zone for voice training.
- LGBTQ+ Healthcare Directory // A directory of LGBTQ+ accepting Healthcare providers.
- Trans Resistance Network // A US-based mutual aid organization to help trans people facing state violence and legal discrimination.
- TLDEF's Trans Health Project // Advice about insurance claims for gender affirming healthcare and procedures.
- TransLifeLine's ID change Library // A comprehensive guide to changing your name on any US legal document.
- Gender Spectrum // Resources for youth, parents and family, educators, mental health professionals and faith leaders.
Support Hotlines:
- The Trevor Project // Web chat, phone call, and text message LGBTQ+ support hotline.
- TransLifeLine // A US/Canada LGBTQ+ phone support hotline service. The US line has Spanish support.
- LGBT Youthline.ca // A Canadian LGBT hotline support service with phone call and web chat support. (4pm - 9:30pm EST)
- 988lifeline // A US only Crisis hotline with phone call, text and web chat support. Dedicated staff for LGBTQIA+ youth 24/7 on phone service, 3pm to 2am EST for text and web chat.
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Fair point. I guess I was using femininity and femme interchangably without realizing it. Not all women express their femininity through being femme.
If you're looking for tips on femme styling or makeup, I can maybe help you out. I've somehow come to terms with, and even like, how femme I've made this later in life 6ft frame of an ogre.
Ok yeah, I have absolutely no idea where to start other than a feel of how "some ways to put my hair up make me euphoric", so I'd love to talk about it. The styling specifically. I don't have make up and it's scary ๐ฅฒ
Thats totally valid. Makeup scared me even though I used some during my "maybe I'm just a falmboyant man" phase. If you ever do feel comfortable giving 1-2 things a try in the makeup Dept. then I would recommend buying a 12-16$ mascara from your local drugstore. Mascara on the eyelashes goes such a long way into femme for how little it is.
What length of hair are you working with?
Pretty long. Curliness makes it not show its full length, and it still hangs below the shoulders. Brushed straight, it just about reaches the end of the ribcage
And what kind of styles/scenes are you trying to fit?
Relevant XKCD
I have absolutely 0 idea, I don't know how to name nearly any style whatsoever.
I need at least a bit of plausible deniability, at least for going outside, because my town is pretty backwards.
Even my favourite way of putting it up in the house alone, which is in a 10-15-degrees-above-horizontal ponytail, but sideways instead of backwards, which makes me feel really cute, is not really a style I can wear outside.
I guess the feeling I'd like to get, is this, being cute and bubbly.
Honestly, now that I think about it, my expectation to wear these outside before you even tell me, is dumb. Just gimme the cutest, girliest, bubbliest style(s?) you got, for exploration and euphoria.
๐ฅบ i hope you are able to find a way out.
You may be safe exploring some androgynous/unisex emo/punk expressions. The whole "Man with long hair" look is common enough that signaling a few "Hippie" or Hipster or maybe emo/punk themes (I.E. dark hair, dark clothes,or even monochromatic clothes, etc) should more than "cover" you.
For something just around the house in private, I'd actually recommend going to a thrift shop and finding inexpensive clothing that fits you. Some thrifts won't let you try things on, so when the "hold it up" method doesn't help, coming with your correct measurements will make things go smoothly. Also, in the event your safety is coming into question, ditching your clothes when they're thrifts at least reduces the financial trauma.
Good luck, stay safe!
Thanks, the thrift idea is probably pretty good. And, as long as something is inside my house, it's plenty safe, so I don't worry about that.
My actual style, slowly is shifting towards a style between punk and hippie that does exist here (we have a couple of... I think in English they're called squats? Occupations? People take over public buildings for protest, and live in them long term as small semi-communes), with long hair, loose-fitting short sleeved dress shirts, short jeans and piercings.
To be perfectly honest with you, my masc expression is enjoyable as fuck.
But, maybe, for that reason, and because of my sense of what non-binary is... This "slight femininity" is not feminine to me. It's a well balanced, healthy masculinity.
And I love this part of myself.
Probably slightly oversharing rant
And at the same time, I wanna dye the tips of my hair pink. I wanna skirt go spinny. I want the interesting, chaotic, enormous variety that girl clothes have. And dresses. I want a damned nipple piercing, without being scared of how much it shows through clothes. I wanna be able to hug people without feeling self-conscious, either like I'm inappropriate and invading, or like I'm "socially not understanding the rules" and "not acting like a man".So yeah. I'm more struggling with gender roles, than aesthetics themselves. But god knows I'd enjoy playing around with the simple joys of it all, in my home at least.
Thanks for the recommendations and the site, by the way!