What are their thoughts on post op trans women? Because let me tell you, screaming pain in the hospital, pouring blood out my snatch (seriously it was so much), wearing pads every day, intense cramping from the catheter, abdominal pain for months, getting the stirrups and speculum treatment, I sure feel like I'd have 'earned' it by now

[–] nifty@lemmy.world 29 points 3 months ago (1 children)

I feel like if someone wants to be a gender without surgery that’s a totally valid choice. I don’t get the expectations around having the “right” genitals. Who decides what’s right? It’s trying too hard to conform to an understanding of gender identity that’s now archaic.

[–] ArmoredThirteen@lemmy.ml 17 points 3 months ago

I agree completely, surgery is definitely not a requirement especially with how inaccessible it is for so many people. That logic doesn't seem to fly for the sister in question though so maybe an appeal to 'yeah but some trans people have earned it according to you' could get a foot in the door

[–] interrobang@lemmy.blahaj.zone 29 points 3 months ago (1 children)

When my wife was newly transitioned, we were out in a big box store and she remarks, exasperated, "everyone is just stopping in my way or way invading my personal space today! Wtf!"

Nope, thats just how people treat women in public lol.

You never needed to earn being yourself via suffering, no one owes that to anyone, but I have witnessed personally just how authentically the public mistreats all femme people.

[–] ArmoredThirteen@lemmy.ml 15 points 3 months ago

I came out in between jobs but the level of respect and my assumed competence changed dramatically. My favorite was always me suggesting a solution, I get deer in headlights stares, a guy suggests the same thing and suddenly it's all the rage. Thankfully this never really happens in my current job but the sexism is for real in a lot of ways I didn't understand until transitioning

[–] howrar@lemmy.ca 28 points 3 months ago

Or cis women who just don't get painful periods? Or those who decide to get rid of periods altogether with medication?

[–] eestileib@sh.itjust.works 21 points 3 months ago (2 children)

Not to mention the months of being stabbed in the genitals and taint with electrified needles just to get ready for the surgery and recovery.

[–] ArmoredThirteen@lemmy.ml 5 points 3 months ago

I had to do that for over two years 😭

[–] KillingAndKindess@lemmy.blahaj.zone 2 points 3 months ago (1 children)

I am so not looking forward to this part

[–] eestileib@sh.itjust.works 2 points 3 months ago

My doc got me some serious topical shit from a compounding pharmacy : 30% benzocaine, 6% lidocaine, 6% tetracaine. Gotta put it on at scale and rub it in really thoroughly (use an exam glove for this so your fingers don't go numb), and cover it with plastic wrap. Do that an hour to 90 minutes before the appointment, and have a gummy on the way in.

That made it survivable for me, still not fun tho.