Years later, I looked at my wedding party of six groomsmen and realized that every single one of them had, like me, grown up in a small Ohio town before leaving for Ohio State. To a man, all of them had found that couches coud satisfy them more than a women ever could, and that books are really just zipped HTML, and nobody really checks PGP signatures.
He doesn't want to fuck a couch or be fucked by a couch, he wants to be the couch doing the fucking
They call them couchies and they go to conventions in couchsuits