TempermentalAnomaly

You could still mark one candidate in Portland's RCV.

Here's a link to an Argis map. You can turn on the layer for current districts and the select the election turnout for 2020.

Here is a link to the 2020 vote count by precinct. Using the Argis map, I'd like up the District 1 precincts and then compare it to the the argis map to see which ones are in district 1. Too bad the file is a image based PDF and not a CSV.

Any case, it's doable.
Personally, I'm most interested in getting District 1 turnout to increase.

In east Portland, the city’s poorest and most racially diverse quadrant, a combination of low voter turnout and low rates of ranking even a single City Council candidate by voters who did cast ballots meant only 39% of registered voters had any say in which three candidates will represent the district, the newsroom analysis found.

I wonder if voter turnout was below, about even, or above the average for the last 20 years. And then what percentage of registered voters had a say in those. Hopefully, the city council and ranked choice voting advocates will do some outreach.

In the district encompassing Portland east of Interstate 205, 29% of residents who cast ballots didn’t rank any of the 16 candidates running. That figure was 18% in North and Northeast Portland (22 candidates); 17% in Southeast Portland (30 candidates); 17% in the city’s westside district (30 candidates); and an average of 20% citywide. Only 7% of voters who cast ballots in the November 2022 election sat out the highly polarized City Council runoff between Jo Ann Hardesty and Rene Gonzalez. And 13% did in the fall 2020 contest between Chloe Eudaly and Mingus Mapps.

In a linked article:

The portion of Portland east of Interstate 205, home to nearly a quarter of the city’s population and its least economically advantaged stretch, had just two residents elected to the council in all of city history.

Now it's five. This isn't an excuse to not do outreach, but this shows far more directly that the people from their neighborhoods are representing them. I hope council members will do community building events.

Once they have achieved this level of tempering it’s respectable for the amount of effort they put in.
that’s not respect, thats understanding. If you respected them, you would at least seem them as equals to yourself

I think the desire to be in society and tempered by it is respectable. It's not a binary that is separated by a hurdle. Because I am an adult, I have understanding of where they are in their journey of being socialized as an adult. I respect the effort they have made, the understanding they've developed, and the progress they've achieved. I don't confuse them with being an adult. But I nurture that desire to be an adult through connection and mentorship if that is available.

I can’t trust them like others that have so I can’t respect them like others. there are other ways to respect though.

I don't trust them like others. I trust them for where they are. I respect them for who they are and where they are. As you said, there are other ways to respect. That is what I've chosen. Another way.

respect is a gift given from one individual to another. it signifies the trust one has in the other.

I agree that respect is a gift given. Gifts aren't earned. They are not transactions. It says, "I see you." Because I have developed eyes to see others, I can give that gift. I can give them space in my self for them to stretch and grow into whomever they are. Some of who they become is chosen, but some is set. I can see this. This is respect. "I see you again." And as they grow into that person, they turn towards me and ask, "Do you see me?" and I can answer "I see you again and again."

They can never emulate me because there is a part of me that will always be unreachable and unknown to them because they are not me. They can try to be like me and they the best success is if they are exactly like themselves in the process of being like me. An authentic self can emerge. I extend respect in hopes that they become themselves.

Teenagers are in development of becoming an individual. They may have personalities, but they haven't tempered them for society yet. That tempering process is through human connections. I'd argue the best outcomes come through respect, patient connections with adults who demonstrate composure and allow them to grow that composure.

I don't know what you're suggesting other than with holding respect.

I don't know what works for you, but I do the following.

1. Feel your feelings. Base feelings for me are sadness, joy, anger, etc. the feeling is connected to an event, but not the same as the event.And I am not my feelings, I am just having a feeling. Feeling this feeling puts me in touch with something either vital or reframes my perspective.
2. Reorient your goals. This can be either shifting your sense of worth to something more important to you than your work or a recommitment to attaining what was lost. This doesn't always happen on the first pass, but I'm able to lift my head up at this point and look around.
3. Make small tasks that build towards that goal. Or just connecting with the day and the people in my life.
4. Reconnect to your support structure. This is just as important to you as it is for them. They want to see you thrive and see the best in you re-emerge.
5. Rinse and repeat. Stumbling is normal. Successes happen. Feel those feelings again. And again.

I don't know if this will work for you, but this has been a process that works for me.

I only saw one other comment talking about your son, so I'll chime in.

Make sure to hear your son's voice. This is his way of trying to make a connection with you and maybe more. Hear him out and don't reflexively respond. Spend time making sure he feels heard and loved. And whatever you decide, he'll know that his connection with you is strong. I don't know what level of processing you've done with him, but I can imagine it getting a little back burnered as you work through the betrayal and grief.

Why not just ask this question in the OP?

Don't be. Being an asshole wins elections. They are deplorable and they are making you be this way. It's their fault. If they were just to follow the rules you wouldn't be an awful person. You're a hero.

And your whips teaches them nothing. Still not sure how this gets the deplorables to vote for you.

Respect is granted for just being human. That can be erode if they violate core social norms, but when respect is given trust is given back. They then give the effort that results in learning.

I'm surprised all the self righteous condescension failed to turn out the vote. Guess we're all out options.