BeardedSingleMalt

Our workforce failed to meet a quota set by management, so we're laying off some of those workers

I once got called in to diagnose why it took 5 minutes to open up a single Excel file. The PC itself was a little dated and underpowered, but the file size was huuuge...like hundreds of MB.

It finally opened. There was ugly table-formatting...to the entire spreadsheet. Colored cell borders, alternating background fill, text and font formatting applied to every single cell; columns A-IV and rows 1-65,536. I pointed that out and said the only way to fix is start a new one and not apply the formatting, or to try and remove it from all the cells. She outright refused because she liked the way it was. So I left, and she went back to looking at pictures of her cats

Fuck off Chancellor Lahey!

JulYn is always carrying around a mug of blood wine wherever he goes, and no matter what happens, he gets into glorious battle with a bat'leth, or piloting his Bird of Prey the IKS Boyz, he never spills a drop

The hospital I worked at caught a LOT of flak when they started making people clock in and out for smoke breaks in the early 2000s. The smokers complained they only took a couple breaks a day for only a few minutes. Within the first month they found out people spent over half their days on smoke breaks.

It was a song I heard from a friend who was in a Music Appreciation class. The song was just counting in kind of a meditative chant and only did it in groups of 2 3 or 4, i can't remember. and they only counted to 12 or something and then started back. so it'd be like "one two three four one two three four five six seven eight one two three four five six seven eight nine ten eleven twelve one two three four"

That's the benefit of top notch practical effects, and going off-the-wall bonkers with the interpretation of future, as opposed to "200 years from now except contemporary styles and slang"

Oh good, because if there's one thing Star Trek needs it's another origin story /s

Or the person who gifted this to OP after eating the bunny

and likened the tone to the Guardians of the Galaxy movies.

Oh good, a light-hearted romp where half the characters act like idiots, that's exactly what a Star Trek movie about a clandestine blackops organization should be like

Where are all the "build a wall" and "they take our jobs" screamers now?

The black dude doesn't die first, the women aren't damsels in distress and actually survive and, turns out one of the women is actually trans.