The Onion

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The Onion

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Florida Students Given Lifelike Dolls To Simulate Responsibility Of Owning Slave (www.theonion.com)

submitted 6 months ago by Nero@sopuli.xyz to c/theonion@midwest.social

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[–] tsonfeir@lemm.ee 90 points 6 months ago* (last edited 6 months ago) (2 children)

How are we supposed to know what is real and what is fake anymore. The onion was supposed to be the line of, “this is too absurd to happen,” But now it’s just six months from now.

[–] ArbiterXero@lemmy.world 26 points 6 months ago

Like, I laughed so hard at this, not because it’s even funny, but because I couldn’t tell if it was real.

[–] ME5SENGER_24@lemmy.world 11 points 6 months ago

…especially in Florida.

[–] octopus_ink@lemmy.ml 26 points 6 months ago (1 children)

Not even that far off Onion! Your satire is going to need to get more ridiculous.

https://apnews.com/article/7aa55bcffe0f4db88282790a19a415a0

https://wjactv.com/news/local/school-apologizes-assignment-asking-5th-grader-pretend-to-be-a-white-slave-master-conemaugh-township-somerset-parents-reaction-

And there are a great many similar stories!

[–] livus@kbin.social 3 points 6 months ago* (last edited 6 months ago)

Thanks, this makes me feel way better about eating the onion here.

[–] TwoBeeSan@lemmy.world 21 points 6 months ago

Help! My doll has demanded rights!!!

[–] GBU_28@lemm.ee 21 points 6 months ago (1 children)

I ate the onion long enough to click into the article. Damn Florida

[–] Ramin_HAL9001@lemmy.ml 3 points 6 months ago

I know, this one is so plausibly something those psychos in the various school board across the fucked-up state of Florida would actually do, I honestly thought this was real for a moment.

They have already shut down entire school libraries, and censored several other public libraries, and are trying to make it illegal to speak freely about slavery or genocide or generally being critical of the US or the glorious military. And there is no shortage of 100% serious, 100% unironic talk ("protected free speech") among ordinary Florida folk about how the slaves actually had it pretty good since they never had to worry about paying for rent or food, and anyone could have done the unskilled labor they did, "I mean, they never had human rights, but what would ~~animals~~ I mean black folk want with those."

I mean, this Onion headline is really, really plausibly real, and might even become real pretty soon.

[–] something_random_tho@lemmy.world 14 points 6 months ago

Oh wow. I ate the onion on this one lmao

[–] DirkMcCallahan@lemmy.world 12 points 6 months ago* (last edited 6 months ago)

This reminds me of the Bob's Burgers episode where they mention giving Gene a goldfish to see if he was responsible enough to have a dog.

Gene's conclusion: "I was not."

[–] zabadoh@ani.social 6 points 6 months ago

Sounds kinky...