it’s very hard for me
I see
this post was submitted on 26 Jul 2023
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Ask Lemmy
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If it's actually affecting your health, I'd suggest talking with a doctor about it
Seek a therapist who practices Cognitive Behavioral Therapy.
Or Acceptance and Commitment Therapy
"Idle hands are the devil's workshop"
Get rid of free time. Commit yourself to some project that involves both the body and mind. Bicycling or running + listening to useful audiobooks might be one.
Thanks for this tip.
Well, for now I recommend you to filter out all NSFW here on Lemmy LMAO, I see porn here even when I'm not looking for it.
Around 35yo should change and your libido will fall. It is an addiction planned to fail by itself.
38
Can confirm 😕
41 here. Have not experienced what this guy is talking about.
So you are 41yo and still masturbate 3 to 5 times at day without problem? Didn't look normal to me, but sure that's something. I think at this ages doing 1 time at day it's enough and because stress of things like work it becomes even harder accomplish that one everyday.
We didn't specify numbers, but my libido is pretty consistent with my twenties.
But this is about addiction. Maybe you was moderate even on your twenties
The OP was. Your post was about your libido falling, which is what he said didn't happen to him.
Like any other habit or addiction, being mindful helps. I have quit smoking cigarettes and alcohol (uh, multiple times) by trying to stop myself when I start or am thinking about it by reminding myself of why I don't want to do it. With cigarettes and alcohol, one might think "wow, I really want to go to the store and buy some". It's very hard to consume either one if you don't have any, though, so I try to stop myself right then by remembering how many times before I've thought that I didn't want to do either one. Generally if I can just stop myself from leaving to go get some, I can get over the urge. Then repeat as needed.
Seconded. You have to recognize when a craving is happening, and immediately decide and engage partaking an activity that occupies both mind and body until it passes.
As a tip, I play factorio and civ everytime I try to take a break from a very addictive behavior like smoking cigarettes. I also forget to eat and sleep while playing theses, but hey biters are attacking and I don't have time for a cig!!!
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Reflect often on the problems that result from it.
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Find other engaging things to do with your time, e.g. rigorous exercise is often satisfying.
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Try breathing meditation, not primarily for any "spiritual" benefits, but to occupy your mind (since you can do it everywhere) and to achieve some peace.
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Try mindfulness meditation to reduce friction with life.
You are probably not horny every time you fap. That means you fap/watch porn to feel better or distract yourself from something.
Figure out why you fap/consume porn when you are not horny. Deal with that problem.
Go cold turkey with porn/fapping. There will be ups and downs but after about 3 weeks you will be ok. If you can last 2-3 months you will feel 100 times better (like gettig a hard on whne you see a (not even a very hot) girl on a street). After that you can go back to normal but only fap when you are horny. Dont look at porn, it will mess you up.
Be prepared for things to get “worse”. Whenever you stop indulging in an addiction, the problems that were being covered up by the addiction come back into awareness and this “emergence” of deep and serious problems can seem like your life is getting way worse.
In fact experience wise it’s exactly the same. Phenomenologically speaking, you life does get worse when you free yourself from an addiction.
So think of it like a magic spell. Think of it like you’re in a magic prison except instead of iron bars surrounding you, you have a magic circle. If you step outside the magic circle, deep bleeding wounds will appear on your body. Stepping back inside the magic circle will make the wounds close up and stop bleeding.
In this analogous scenario, to escape the magic circle you must resolve to accept the wounding of your body. And in real life to escape the addiction you must resolve to accept wounds into your life.
The wounds are already there; they’re the reason you are running the addiction program. But they are hidden, and will reappear, and experientially that’s indistinguishable from them happening to you fresh.
So be ready to be hurt and horrified by the awareness lurking just outside your cloud of addiction. There’s trauma there that you will need to face and process.
Every time you want to fap, do 10 pushups.
Can't do 10 pushups, do what you can then revert to an easier version and do 10 more (example, let's say you can do 1 or 2, then go and do knee pushups and do 10 more).
Exercise releases chemicals and if you keep doing exercise you can get a pump, Arnold described it feeling as good as cumming - https://youtu.be/-xZQ0YZ7ls4
Arnold has said that he was selling himself as a bodybuilder and he would say a lot of things that were more promotional or propaganda to further his sport and his name. He explicitly says this in regards to the cumming comment
Not that I doubt you, but have you got a source on that?
But regardless, a pump does feel good though.
try making a conscious effort to get out of the house more and do more social stuff. There's websites like meetup where you can meet folks with similar interests. Making real connections with other people and/or finding satisfaction in pursuing your interests will fill some of the hole which your fapping is trying to cover over. Also you won't have as much time to yourself so it won't be possible!
If your addiction is libido based rather than boredom based, you might want to consider trying Ashwagandha. I’m not usually one to tout supplements, but this has helped me manage my overactive libido.
Disclaimer: I am not a medical professional.
Antidepressants.
Hey man! That is rough. I'd check out some videos by Dr. K. He is a streamer/psychiatrist that talks about this stuff. Here's a stream he did with a bunch of guys who are in various stages of nofap: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e1ndqAkiQZo&t=1s
Keep your mind focused at doing (anything you like that is not porn) and keep doing it 24/7. Recognize your "impulses" and when you need to chill. Avoid anything that "sexually provokes" you in any way (watching moves with women moaning and/or with big bouncy breasts will definitely not help you here). Eat/drink (something sweet/strong) when the "itch" kicks in.
If all goes wrong... then seek help.
Have you tried not pooping for three days?
That actually not works well because poop stimulate your inside. It is the opposite, you should pooping even two times at day to avoid get stimulated by a big turd.
Three pieces:
- Empty your bladders as soon as they fill up. Full bladders make you horny even when you aren't
- Be around other people
- You are certainly not going to be able to fck the girl in the porn. Cause the girl's just a 2D grid of pixels. It's your primitive brain not being able to tell the difference. Override your primitive brain with your rational brain
Look at a picture of Richard Simmons in a speedo. That should do it.
Thanks asshole, now I can only fap to richard simmons.
Go to a Gym or do calisthenics, get committed to that (exercise and diet). It’ll help you with testosterone and not letting you a lot of energy to fap.
But it’s very hard for me.
😏
Have you thought about replacing it with a Prostate Cancer Prevention Addiction?
Dealing with the same thing. Seems like sheer willpower is the only way out though having an existential crisis helps a bit too. I was able to clearly visualize what my life is going to look like in 15 years if I don't change my habits and that cleared up my mind a bit. Watching porn is fun and all but dying alone after having spent a significant part of your life doing just that isn't.