this post was submitted on 28 Apr 2024
165 points (97.1% liked)

Programmer Humor

32557 readers
418 users here now

Post funny things about programming here! (Or just rant about your favourite programming language.)

Rules:

founded 5 years ago
MODERATORS
 

I found the last bug in my program!

all 27 comments
sorted by: hot top controversial new old
[–] lockhart@lemmy.ml 66 points 6 months ago (1 children)
[–] TeddE@lemmy.world 11 points 6 months ago
[–] tiefling@lemmy.blahaj.zone 46 points 6 months ago (1 children)

...and 1001 other jokes you can tell yourself

[–] perishthethought@lemm.ee 39 points 6 months ago

A wise man once said:

You never finish a program, you just stop working on it.

[–] Bishma@discuss.tchncs.de 36 points 6 months ago (1 children)

When you stop looking for bugs you can honestly say you haven't found any. That's how how the pandemic ended.

[–] milicent_bystandr@lemm.ee 5 points 6 months ago

Covid is now a feature. Sounds about right.

[–] algernon@lemmy.ml 32 points 6 months ago (2 children)

There are no bugs. Just happy little accidental features.

[–] perishthethought@lemm.ee 10 points 6 months ago

This is what I'm telling my boss from now on.

[–] Mad_Punda@feddit.de 5 points 6 months ago

I often incorporate features into my software that ensure it shuts down automatically on certain actions, or when you’ve used it for too long. So you can go out and see some nature. It’s totally not crashes.

[–] AdamEatsAss@lemmy.world 28 points 6 months ago (2 children)

As a senior dev I can confidently tell you that isn't a bug. The code was written to do it that way, and the code is right, so it must be right. Maybe there is a bug in what you think it should do.

[–] Mad_Punda@feddit.de 9 points 6 months ago (1 children)

The only difference between bugs and features is documentation.

[–] embed_me@programming.dev 5 points 6 months ago

But there is no documentation

[–] neclimdul@lemmy.world 9 points 6 months ago (1 children)

It sounds like a joke but as another senior dev, one of the big lessons I've learned is getting really good at capturing all the requests that come in and who approved them.

It's a bit of cya, but mostly so I can say "I can change that but it's not a bug. It's what was requested for this to do last year. Here's the discussion" It's surprising how often that results in "Oh yeah, that was for x. Let's not touch it." Or "oh that's not a quick fix, let me come back with more information" etc

[–] makuus@pawb.social 27 points 6 months ago
[–] exscape@kbin.social 16 points 6 months ago

How I felt 10 minutes ago when I fixed a bug just after zipping it for release.

[–] Alexstarfire@lemmy.world 14 points 6 months ago (1 children)

Must have deleted the entire program.

[–] palordrolap@kbin.social 11 points 6 months ago (1 children)

In some interpretations of "bug-driven" programming, no file, or perhaps an empty file, is an instance of the zeroth-bug: The project does not exist.

One could argue that this bug zero is the true ancestor of all other bugs. There's something satisfyingly set-theoretic about it.

[–] Alexstarfire@lemmy.world 4 points 6 months ago

Too philosophical for me.

[–] redcalcium@lemmy.institute 10 points 6 months ago (1 children)

We all got into this mess because some scientists from a long time ago figured out how to put lightning into a slab of rock to trick it into thinking.

[–] perishthethought@lemm.ee 3 points 6 months ago

I like it. Sounds like Douglas Adams.

[–] GnuLinuxDude@lemmy.ml 10 points 6 months ago

And they lived happily ever after. The end.

[–] catsup@lemmy.one 8 points 6 months ago (1 children)
[–] perishthethought@lemm.ee 9 points 6 months ago

Thank you! Nobody else acknowledged my achievement!!

Haha

[–] QuazarOmega@lemy.lol 7 points 6 months ago

Debugging my hello world be like:

[–] NegativeLookBehind@lemmy.world 6 points 6 months ago

The bug you’ll fix that will spawn 3 more somewhere else in the code

FTFY

[–] deegeese@sopuli.xyz 5 points 6 months ago

Zarro boogs found.