Is it how a lot of men just talk outright? Yeah, and it's insane. The messages my partner (cis) and I (trans) have gotten on Instagram even are so out of pocket.

I'll gladly accept the lack of understanding of boundaries, because it makes the red flags obvious from the start.

I'll add that it's very, very nice to see a rational, "respectful" reaction to being told they are trans though. Too many men who jump to invalidating gender and outright transphobia out there. Especially the ones who are only afraid of being seen as gay.

[–] MareOfNights@discuss.tchncs.de 8 points 7 months ago

It probably is the same rationale as with clickbait. It at least gets a response XD

The messages from gay guys are pretty similar sometimes.

[–] Asafum@feddit.nl 21 points 7 months ago* (last edited 7 months ago) (2 children)

Yes, they've ruined online dating along with the app conglomerate Match group.

The shitheads chase off women who are sick of getting tons of these messages (they guys don't care that they're causing that issue, they just "play the numbers game" to get their dick wet) and Match group chases away everyone who doesn't want Tinder 2.0 because they buy every competitor and then enshittify every site they gain ownership of to become a tinder clone.

I just want a goddamn site where people make profiles that are more than 2-3 sentences of "I love dogs. I love tacos. I love to travel." and maybe just mayyyybe don't aim to become a fucking influencer streaming platform? I'm looking at you plenty of fish...

Source: I watched the downfall of online dating over the last decade. Still single, never sent a rude message... Maybe that's my problem lol

As for is this how guys should act? God no.... Well, be inclusive of trans people yes, immediately going to "let's fuck" no...

[–] Riven@lemmy.dbzer0.com 4 points 7 months ago

I used Boo. It's a dating app that you can use to also find friends. Found my now fiancee on there.

[–] Meron35@lemmy.world 2 points 7 months ago (1 children)

Tbh at some point it's just the incompetence of people at filling out their own profiles that's the problem. Case in point: Hinge actually tries to encourage people with basic prompts, but as it got popular most profiles are basic clichés.

You end up with the situation where the person's stats (Bank manager at 33 yrs old, college educated) is more interesting than their love for dogs, tacos and travel.

[–] Asafum@feddit.nl 3 points 7 months ago

I never liked hinge because of the Twitter like character limit. It forced short profiles so everyone just puts the bare minimum instead of trying to pack information into a limited space.

I really liked Okcupid until they absolutely drove it into the ground... All they did was remove useful features and force the "swipe only" method so that you'd spend forever swiping and hopefully pay them to see who liked you since you cant do any sort of search to find someone you might be interested in.

[–] AI_toothbrush@lemmy.zip 12 points 7 months ago (2 children)

Its not like anyones in for a serious relationship there? Most people go to hook up.

[–] TheControlled@lemmy.world 3 points 7 months ago

And an acceptable and normal thing to say is "you wanna get your hole smashed?"

[–] Starb3an@sh.itjust.works 1 points 7 months ago

Literally met my wife on Tinder lol

[–] Kalysta@lemm.ee 4 points 7 months ago* (last edited 7 months ago)

According to my friends who use them - yes.

I’ve been married too long to check for myself.

[–] BonesOfTheMoon@lemmy.world 18 points 7 months ago

Well you have to admit he's flexible. LOL.