this post was submitted on 05 Apr 2024
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Programmer Humor

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[–] conditional_soup@lemm.ee 112 points 7 months ago (2 children)

I've met this bird. It only prioritizes issues as urgent; when interacted with, it'll say "yes, this is part of MVP"

[–] Skullgrid@lemmy.world 75 points 7 months ago* (last edited 7 months ago) (2 children)

I'll kill you , you stupid bird!

If everything is high priority, nothing is high priority!

[–] jballs@sh.itjust.works 39 points 7 months ago* (last edited 7 months ago) (2 children)

I had a list of 30 items I had to prioritize with clients the other day. We ended up with about two dozen Priority 1s and the rest were 2s.

So I had to go back and say, "let's prioritize the 1s" and at least got them to agree to 1.A, 1.B, and 1.C.

[–] Ephera@lemmy.ml 31 points 7 months ago

This is why I really don't think absolute priority values work. I much prefer relative priority, i.e. dragging cards into an order.

Of course, the challenge with that is in clarifying that it's not a strict order in which tasks will be tackled.

[–] Skullgrid@lemmy.world 15 points 7 months ago

You are a wizard.

[–] ironhydroxide@sh.itjust.works 9 points 7 months ago

I have had multiple managers who are incapable of understanding this.

[–] Vent@lemm.ee 48 points 7 months ago (1 children)

Could be worse, mine have started saying "the MVP must be feature complete and 100% bug free" but there's a 0% chance there's enough budget for that.

[–] hydroptic@sopuli.xyz 17 points 7 months ago (3 children)

And what sort of an MVP is feature-complete and completely bugless?

[–] Viking_Hippie@lemmy.world 17 points 7 months ago (1 children)
[–] hydroptic@sopuli.xyz 9 points 7 months ago

Minimum Viable Player

[–] LoamImprovement@beehaw.org 5 points 7 months ago (1 children)

The one in the manager's mind, that also isn't actually an MVP because sales over-promised and now you have to find a way to deliver.

[–] hydroptic@sopuli.xyz 2 points 7 months ago

Ahh, sales…

The best sales folks are the ones who promise customers things that are literally impossible (and I do mean literally, eg. promising something that essentially solves the halting problem). Those are always fun to sort out

[–] BallsandBayonets@lemmy.world 3 points 7 months ago

I can deliver completely bugless. The secret is code that doesn't do anything, acts the same as code that doesn't exist.

[–] newthrowaway20@lemmy.world 88 points 7 months ago (3 children)

A good project manager can make all the difference. I've worked with shitty ones and great ones. Great ones are on top of the project, fielding questions and wrangling together key players. Shit ones don't do any of that then get surprised on their own call when they are behind schedule.

[–] Asafum@feddit.nl 23 points 7 months ago

The more I learn about project managers the more I realize I am a project manager in a factory. Just a criminally underpaid project manager...

We don't have titles here because god forbid anyone discover what their value actually is.

[–] SlopppyEngineer@lemmy.world 8 points 7 months ago* (last edited 7 months ago)

Then you ask a PM for specs before you start, or at least a brief with what needs to be done, and maybe a rough planning based on estimates and not what the customer said what are the deadlines, and they get really offended.

[–] bort@sopuli.xyz 7 points 7 months ago (1 children)

what does "get surprised on their own call" mean?

[–] Astongt615@lemmy.one 22 points 7 months ago

They are usually responsible for planning, generating, and running regular project team meetings. So they get people together but sometimes have done no work since the last meeting they held, so when someone has a reasonable issue that doesn't meet with the pre done schedule 5 years ago when the project was first instigated, they have super Pikachu face and get mad at the actual doers because they don't get to just report "on schedule" to their bosses. They could be called the landlords ofthe project based on the sentiment of the greater Lemmy community.

[–] Zuberi@lemmy.dbzer0.com 53 points 7 months ago (1 children)

Watching the bean counter (who makes >350k) struggle to open a PDF is 🤌🤌🤌

[–] RagingRobot@lemmy.world 8 points 7 months ago (1 children)

That's the life of a bean for ya

[–] WhiskyTangoFoxtrot@lemmy.world 7 points 7 months ago

Just wait until they get a turkey stuck on their head.

[–] TheOSINTguy@sh.itjust.works 27 points 7 months ago (1 children)

And yet he is better then most

[–] sparky@lemmy.federate.cc 22 points 7 months ago (1 children)

Not sure whether to laugh or cry at this one..

[–] hydroptic@sopuli.xyz 19 points 7 months ago

Considering what a fucking tragicomedy life on Earth has turned into, I think doing both – possibly at the same time – is a valid reaction

[–] istanbullu@lemmy.ml 18 points 7 months ago

80% of project managers are useless. But if you find a good one, they are worth their weight in gold.

[–] imnotfromkaliningrad@lemmy.ml 10 points 7 months ago* (last edited 7 months ago) (2 children)

did he also learn to complain about the quality of your work despite clearly being incapable (or unwilling) of doing it better himself?

[–] colournoun@beehaw.org 3 points 7 months ago

I see you’ve met my boss.

[–] S_204@lemm.ee 0 points 7 months ago (1 children)

He didnt hire himself, he hired you..

[–] imnotfromkaliningrad@lemmy.ml 3 points 7 months ago

well, my shit works and i deliver on time. he has no reason to complain.

[–] slazer2au@lemmy.world 7 points 7 months ago

Is there much difference between sitting or shitting on a blocking issue apart from the H?