this post was submitted on 16 Mar 2024
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[–] Transporter_Room_3@startrek.website 141 points 7 months ago (3 children)

In highschool, a girl I fancied asked if we could play the awkward game, where the point is to make the other person feel awkward and bail.

Well her first two moves were taking off her bra under her shirt, pulling it out through the neck, and throwing it at me, and then sitting on my lap facing me.

I still did not get the hint.

I found out a few years later when she was going off to college and we were chilling on the couch reminiscing. No chance by then though for either of us.

Remember, when you ask yourself "how could you not understand that", people like me exist.

[–] snooggums@midwest.social 77 points 7 months ago (2 children)

Clearly taking someone at their word instead of trying to guess that they were actually throwing confusing hints is the dumbest thing anyone can do.

It could be worse, she could have really been goofing around and gotten into an argument when you acted on the 'hints' that you thought she was giving.

[–] Transporter_Room_3@startrek.website 75 points 7 months ago (4 children)

Thank you! Every time someone asks me "well why didn't you make a move when X happened?"

Because I didn't want to make the wrong guess and get pepper sprayed, punched, expelled, fired, whatever. Because 99% of the time they aren't into me at all and whatever signal I think I might be picking up on is entirely unintentional or imagined.

I always assume the other person isn't flirting, they're just being nice. Or competitive in this case. And assuming this has never once led to me getting lunched or pepper sprayed or anything, so I'd say it worked well.

Also I still got married, just asked someone I worked with if they wanted to go hiking one day and surprisingly they said yes. (honestly who goes hiking as a first date I could have been a serial killer)

If you can't be direct with the person you want to be romantic with, then why are you wanting to be closer to them?

[–] snooggums@midwest.social 28 points 7 months ago (1 children)

I'll go with "I didn't want to be wrong and feel bad for guessing wrong" instead of the extreme responses. Definitely prefer someone who is direct and clear.

Well I'd be lying if I said it wasn't mostly this. The feeling of rejection.

But the others did cross my mind a lot when I was wondering if I'm picking up on signals.

[–] pineapplelover@lemm.ee 9 points 7 months ago

I would go hiking as a first date

[–] Squirrel@thelemmy.club 5 points 7 months ago

On the other hand, my now-wife told me I was good at flirting when we started dating. I have never flirted in my life, and I still don't know what she interpreted that way.

[–] Venator@lemmy.nz 0 points 7 months ago

I could have been a serial killer

Nah she could tell you didn't have the emotional intelligence of a serial killer.

[–] Neato@ttrpg.network 12 points 7 months ago (1 children)

That's flirting. It's designed to protect the person's ego if they guess that their affections are not returned. This case would have been a good example if the op wasn't interested. She could have played it off as trying to win.

[–] brbposting@sh.itjust.works 3 points 7 months ago

And the human experience as well as range of personalities are incredibly broad. We know someone has a delightfully magical story about their now-spouse playing coy when they first met.

So, “yes and“ even a wildly cocky person might flirt just because that’s them being them.

Well said and great point!

[–] riquisimo@lemmy.dbzer0.com 29 points 7 months ago

Well, realistically, if you didn't get the hint she should have kept going.

If she bailed, then you won.

Silver lininnnnnnng!

[–] notoftenthat@sh.itjust.works 28 points 7 months ago

If it is any consolation, I think you might have won.

[–] Anticorp@lemmy.world 75 points 7 months ago

In college I had a crush on one of my young professors and I wondered if there was any chance of her accepting a date offer. I never had the courage to ask her though. When she handed my final test results back to me there was a sticky note that said "I loved talking to you. If you ever want to talk about ANYTHING, give me a call", and her personal number was listed. I thought, "why would I want to talk about class now that I'm finished?" and I threw the note away and went on with my life. It wasn't until about 5 years later when I was randomly thinking about that moment when it clicked and I was like "damn it!".

[–] iamjackflack@lemm.ee 58 points 7 months ago (2 children)

Or she’s just trying to drink for free and would walk away after receiving said drink…. Can’t tell you how many times I’ve seen that happen to people back in the bar hopping days

[–] dependencyinjection@discuss.tchncs.de 9 points 7 months ago (1 children)

I like to assume the best in people, until they show me a reason not to, I find I’m happier this way.

[–] iamjackflack@lemm.ee 5 points 7 months ago (1 children)

Me too but the bar scene with that happening is not the place to do that

[–] brbposting@sh.itjust.works 1 points 7 months ago

Maybe on dollar shot night!

A flag is definitely raised by the fact a drink is actually being sought. Still a risk of it happening when a drink is simply offered, but that’s much more fair. (Hopefully it never happens to anyone enough for them to become jaded.)

[–] meat_popsicle@sh.itjust.works 1 points 7 months ago

Yep. A fool and their money are soon parted. Get her to buy you the drink if she’s that interested!

Can’t tell you how many times I’ve seen that one.

[–] gmtom@lemmy.world 43 points 7 months ago (2 children)

So when I was about 15/16 I was holiday and a group of us teenagers were hanging out and I had a big crush on this one girl.

Well one night she and her little sister invited me and a younger guy in our group back to their hotel room (seperate from their parents room) and I think nothing of it, when we get there she takes me by the hand and sits me down on her bed, then goes to the bathroom to "get ready" meanwhile her sister and the younger guy just start making out on her bed. I sit there for a minute awkward as fuck before I decide I don't wanna watch these kids make out and just leave.

It wasn't until years and years later that I considered the possibility of what the older sister brought me there to do. I still feel like such a dumbass.

[–] theangryseal@lemmy.world 10 points 7 months ago* (last edited 7 months ago)

Oh god, I was just as clueless and even worse, too shy to take advantage when I wasn’t clueless.

It took very persistent women to make anything work with me.

Meanwhile, my confident younger brother was beating the brakes off of every woman in our small town.

He was a total slut.

[–] Waffelson@lemmy.world 7 points 7 months ago

I read comments under post and think, is it good or bad that I haven't similar flirts in past?

[–] GlitterInfection@lemmy.world 29 points 7 months ago* (last edited 7 months ago) (1 children)

When I was younger and much twinkier I was at the gym trying to figure out what to do with all the heavy weights and machines and such and this incredibly hot musclular guy kept staring at me. I kept thinking I took his machine or that he could tell I had no idea what I was doing and was pissed at me.

Anyway, it only finally dawned on me that he was attracted to me when he started giving me a blow job in the steam room afterwards.

[–] nadir@lemmy.world 16 points 7 months ago (1 children)

What gave it away? Were there any signs?

[–] GlitterInfection@lemmy.world 11 points 7 months ago (1 children)

He asked me out on a date after. Still not sure if he was into me.

[–] riquisimo@lemmy.dbzer0.com 25 points 7 months ago

I mean, if she was being playful and you're not that kind of playful you might not have been a good match.

Flirting like that is really indirect, it's ok to miss it, especially when some guys are trained to not engage with women they think are attractive since they don't want to seem "creepy."

[–] Empricorn@feddit.nl 23 points 7 months ago

Hey women: a lot of us don't get your hints and flirts. Like, at all. Please be direct...

[–] Kolanaki@yiffit.net 19 points 7 months ago

Hot girl: "Hey stud, wanna fuck?"

Me, not listening: "No thanks, I prefer compacts to trucks."

[–] MargotRobbie@lemmy.world 16 points 7 months ago (2 children)

Lemmy try, Lemmy try!

Ahem.

wink So what's a girl need to do to get a Blu-ray of the "Barbie" movie around here?

[–] Default_Defect@midwest.social 6 points 7 months ago

Don't you mean

So what’s an esteemed Academy Award nominated girl need to do to get a Blu-ray of the Academy Award and Golden Globe nominated movie “Barbie” around here?

[–] Liz@midwest.social 5 points 7 months ago (1 children)

You're in luck! They're 9% off today!

[–] MargotRobbie@lemmy.world 2 points 7 months ago

By Grabthar's hammer, what a savings!

[–] aido@lemmy.world 15 points 7 months ago

In High School my dad and little sister came to pick me up from the state YMCA Y&G conference and I was told on the way out that the girl I was talking to was very obviously flirting with me. I didn't even remember who I'd been talking to.

[–] fsxylo@sh.itjust.works 12 points 7 months ago

I'm aware of what that line means and I'd say the same thing.

You approached me. Buy me a drink.

[–] Kyle_The_G@lemmy.world 9 points 7 months ago

I've done this before. -stranger comes up "Hi! I'm (random name), I'm having whisky sours!" -me "nice, I'm having beer", orders beer and walks away.

TIL that not all humans float in water.

[–] intensely_human@lemm.ee 8 points 7 months ago

Try the words “gin and tonic”. That works pretty much everywhere.

[–] Mango@lemmy.world 6 points 7 months ago (3 children)

I have a secret. I'm not autistic. I catch every hint. I just didn't care about romance in this world where everything I do is compelled by someone else. I'll never have kids. On top of all that, it's extra trouble no matter how you cut it.

[–] BananaOnionJuice@lemmy.dbzer0.com 3 points 7 months ago (1 children)

At least you go into it with open eyes, zen like? Hope you still have something that makes you happy.

[–] Mango@lemmy.world 1 points 7 months ago

Yeah I can be happy at times, but that doesn't make up for the extreme lack of real freedom.

[–] MeanEYE@lemmy.world 1 points 7 months ago (1 children)

Am sort in the same position right now. Even though I do catch hints sometimes, but most of the times I miss them. Even then, rare that they are with ages passing, I still look at every potential relationship as losing freedom. It would be nice to have someone next to you, but all the drama and dedication that comes with it is hardly ever justified in my head. Not to mention family. Am right where I want in my life. I have enough money to fulfill all my dreams and most importantly I have time to fulfill them.

[–] MonkderZweite@feddit.ch 1 points 7 months ago (1 children)

Just a hint; there are people like you in the opposite gender too.

[–] MeanEYE@lemmy.world 0 points 7 months ago (1 children)

I have no issues with that. Everyone is free to do with their lives whatever they want.

[–] MonkderZweite@feddit.ch 1 points 7 months ago (1 children)

Not issues, just that they might prefer the direct approach, withouth drama, in an open relationship, too.

[–] MeanEYE@lemmy.world 0 points 7 months ago

Wish I ran more into those kind of girls here.

[–] Tja@programming.dev 1 points 7 months ago

/r/im14andthisisdeep (or the lemmy equivalent)

[–] Abnorc@lemm.ee 6 points 7 months ago

Remember that weird lady that doesn't know how to buy things? I wonder what she's doing now.