this post was submitted on 05 Mar 2024
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So I've realized that in conversations I'll use traditional terms for men as general terms for all genders, both singularly and for groups. I always mean it well, but I've been thinking that it's not as inclusive to women/trans people.

For example I would say:

"What's up guys?" "How's it going man?" "Good job, my dude!” etc.

Replacing these terms with person, people, etc sounds awkward. Y'all works but sounds very southern US (nowhere near where I am located) so it sounds out of place.

So what are some better options?

Edit: thanks for all the answers peoples, I appreciate the honest ones and some of the funny ones.

The simplest approach is to just drop the usage of guys, man, etc. Folks for groups and mate for singular appeal to me when I do want to add one in between friends.

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[–] terraborra@lemmy.nz 352 points 8 months ago (12 children)
[–] vlad76@lemmy.sdf.org 93 points 8 months ago

We can close this thread now. The question has been answered.

[–] cypherpunks@lemmy.ml 36 points 8 months ago

instance name checks out

[–] The_wild_card@lemmy.today 20 points 8 months ago

Threadkiller

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[–] cyborganism@lemmy.ca 169 points 8 months ago (21 children)
[–] JoMiran@lemmy.ml 70 points 8 months ago (13 children)

Y'all doesn't get enough love. It is gender neutral and extremely versatile.

[–] xmunk@sh.itjust.works 29 points 8 months ago (7 children)
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[–] maxprime@lemmy.ml 122 points 8 months ago (18 children)

A lot of people use “folks” for plural.

I feel like “guys” is fairly un-gendered but people disagree with me. Personally, I haven’t used the word “guys” to refer to anything male in what seems like forever.

“Bud” and “fella” are good singulars.

[–] TWeaK@lemm.ee 29 points 8 months ago

I used to have a maths teacher who called almost every number "guy".

"And this guy goes to zero, while this guy goes to infinity!"

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[–] corymbia@reddthat.com 87 points 8 months ago (7 children)

In Australia the gender-neutral term is ‘Cunt’.

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[–] RampageDon@lemmy.world 87 points 8 months ago (2 children)

A wise man once said, "I'm a dude, he's a dudes, she's a dude. We're all dudes. Hey!"

[–] ada@lemmy.blahaj.zone 54 points 8 months ago* (last edited 8 months ago) (24 children)

Strange though, that when you ask most men how many dudes they've slept with suddenly, she's not a dude...

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[–] synae@lemmy.sdf.org 52 points 8 months ago (3 children)

Try the following for groups:

Hey folks, how's it going?

Listen up assholes!

Greetings, gumshoes

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[–] BreakDecks@lemmy.ml 48 points 8 months ago (1 children)

"Fuckers" is gender-neutral.

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[–] laurelraven@lemmy.blahaj.zone 47 points 8 months ago

"Foolish mortals" is my go-to gender neutral form of address

[–] crispy_kilt@feddit.de 47 points 8 months ago (2 children)

What's up, cunts

Works best if they're your friends and also you're in Australia

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[–] PM_me_trebuchets@lemm.ee 46 points 8 months ago (5 children)

I’m AFAB enby, saying “you guys” and calling me “dude” is fine. Those to me aren’t gendered anymore. The people who get offended at general terms like these for groups of people need to touch grass.

But if you’re dead set on it, embrace y’all lol. Just don’t say it with a southern drawl and you’ll be fine. It’s a fantastic gender neutral term. You can also just train yourself not to add in the “you guys” to the “what’s up” phrase, and maybe just say “what’s up with you?” “What’s up with you all?” Etc.

[–] lembas@lemm.ee 31 points 8 months ago (4 children)

"Offended" is a bit of a strong word.

Many trans folks are, understandably, bummed out when gendered terms that refer to their AGAB are used to refer to them.

I don't think there's anything wrong with trying to avoid causing that brief moment of dysphoria. That just feels like a thoughtful and kind thing to do.

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[–] KingThrillgore@lemmy.ml 46 points 8 months ago (1 children)
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[–] TexMexBazooka@lemm.ee 44 points 8 months ago (3 children)

The simplest approach is to accept language is inherently gendered, and at a certain point it is exhausting to either take offense to everything or walk on eggshells.

I’m southern, so I use y’all almost exclusively lol

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[–] mo_lave@reddthat.com 41 points 8 months ago
[–] IgnatiusJReilly@lemmy.wtf 38 points 8 months ago
[–] EdibleFriend@lemmy.world 37 points 8 months ago (4 children)
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[–] Balinares@pawb.social 37 points 8 months ago (1 children)

Everypony.

An oft overlooked option that leaves no one indifferent.

[–] CannedTuna@sh.itjust.works 26 points 8 months ago (1 children)
[–] sukhmel@programming.dev 20 points 8 months ago

But very truly

leaves no one indifferent.

[–] lud@lemm.ee 36 points 8 months ago (1 children)
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[–] OceanSoap@lemmy.ml 35 points 8 months ago* (last edited 8 months ago)

All the alternatives make me cringe.

If someone is insulted that you use the term "guys" for a group, they're not worth being friends with. That's a lot of exhausting mental energy to deal with. Ignore 'em and move on.

[–] ComradePorkRoll@lemmy.world 31 points 8 months ago (7 children)

I find "y'all" works pretty well, so does "folks" or even better "Fellow Workers."

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[–] foo@lemmy.ca 31 points 8 months ago (2 children)
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[–] uhmbah@lemmy.ca 30 points 8 months ago (9 children)

'round here "guys" has become gender neutral. But "folks" is my go-to.

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[–] Regnissik@lemmy.ml 29 points 8 months ago (6 children)

I mean buddy is already gender neutral.

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[–] davel@lemmy.ml 28 points 8 months ago

Fellow kids

[–] intensely_human@lemm.ee 27 points 8 months ago (14 children)

Man, guys, buddy, etc

Just use them as gender neutral. Done.

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[–] BonesOfTheMoon@lemmy.world 26 points 8 months ago (5 children)

I say y'all. It's inclusive.

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[–] sexual_tomato@lemmy.dbzer0.com 25 points 8 months ago (3 children)
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[–] spittingimage@lemmy.world 25 points 8 months ago (8 children)

"Citizens". It has the added benefit of implying that you're an authority figure and they're in trouble.

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[–] Pulpogarden@lemmy.ml 23 points 8 months ago (6 children)

Earthlings is the only valid option

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[–] ChaoticEntropy@feddit.uk 23 points 8 months ago (1 children)
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[–] captain_aggravated@sh.itjust.works 22 points 8 months ago (1 children)

I use "folks" a lot. "Howdy folks." I am also a Tarheel so I can get away with y'all. And howdy.

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[–] Akareth@lemmy.world 22 points 8 months ago

"My fellow great ape"

[–] EssentialCoffee@midwest.social 21 points 8 months ago

Folks or Everyone tend to be my go to.

[–] manuallybreathing@lemmy.ml 21 points 8 months ago (1 children)

folks, y'all, youse

friends / friend

comrades / comrade

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[–] mrcleanup@lemmy.world 21 points 8 months ago (1 children)

Guys is always fine as it refers to followers of Guy Faulks and pretty much anyone has probably considered blowing up parliament at some point.

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[–] BreadOven@lemmy.world 21 points 8 months ago

Cheese bags.

[–] dandroid@sh.itjust.works 20 points 8 months ago (6 children)

Dude.

I'm a dude. He's a dude, She's a dude. We're all dudes.

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[–] wolfeh@lemmy.world 20 points 8 months ago (2 children)

In the words of Kel Mitchell:

I'm a dude, he's a dude, she's a dude, 'cause we're all dudes.

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