this post was submitted on 02 Mar 2024
207 points (96.4% liked)

Greentext

4336 readers
1878 users here now

This is a place to share greentexts and witness the confounding life of Anon. If you're new to the Greentext community, think of it as a sort of zoo with Anon as the main attraction.

Be warned:

If you find yourself getting angry (or god forbid, agreeing) with something Anon has said, you might be doing it wrong.

founded 1 year ago
MODERATORS
Early_To_Risa@sh.itjust.works
207
Anon dislikes hornets (sh.itjust.works)
submitted 8 months ago by Gullible@sh.itjust.works to c/greentext@sh.itjust.works
17 comments fedilink hide all child comments
 

Everyone is allowed childish, irrational fears. Some people hate clowns, others spiders, water, etc. For me it's hornets.
>be me
>senior in high school
>a mistake in scheduling sophomore year led me to end up not taking a mandatory sophomore level science class as a senior
>alright whatever
>it's the last class of the day so that's good at least
>spend most of the time sleeping and dicking around
>ace all the tests anyways
It should be mentioned we were learning about biology and insects of some kind or another at this time, which prompted this.
>Some kid says he caught a giant fuck hornet and that he should bring it to show in class teacher says this is a great idea
>I loudly voice my concerns
>my hatred for the creatures are well documented
>am ignored
>I hear the foreshadowtron firing up in the background
>NEXT DAY
>in seat
>kid walks in
>has the biggest fucking hornet I've ever seen
>not as in "biggest I've ever seen in real life" this was literally bigger than any picture or video I've ever seen of a hornet.
>panic mode on standby
>kid brings it up to the front of the class and the teacher starts talking about hornets and stuff
>I can't even focus
>the hornet looks pretty docile at least.
>"Shake him a bit and see if that wakes him up"
>I make an insightful comment about why that is a fucking retarded idea
>I am ignored
>hornet does wake up, and it's pissed
>kid forgot to secure the lid of this shitty plastic container
>HORNET FUCKING PUSHES OUT THE LID AND FLIES OUT OF THE CONTAINER
>kids scream
>teacher says in a firm but calm voice "Nobody panic"
>she has the situation under control
>I do not
>Hornet flies straight toward me
>NOW IS A PERFECTLY GOOD TIME TO PANIC
>FIGHT OR FLIGHT ENGAGED
>FIGHT MODE ENGAGED
>bolt up, scream obscenities and throw my fucking desk at the thing
>misses entirely, skips off another desk and wrecks the kid who brought it in
>books and papers fly fucking everywhere
>whiteboard falls and takes out the front row of students
>the hornet's buzzing shifts from "I'm about to be angry" to a higher "I am completely fucking angry" buzz
>FLIGHT MODE ENGAGED
>teacher screams "ANON CALM DOWN"
>"FUCK THAT"
>football tackle through the group of children crowded around the door and bust it open
>hear the cracking of skulls on linoleum
>turn left and run out of the school, into my car, and drive home, still in blind panic
>NEXT DAY
>walk into classroom through noticeably broken door
>everyone in class has horrible bruises on them either from where the hornet stung them or from being caught in the collateral damage of my escape
>kid who got hit by the desk isn't in class, find out later he had to get a neck brace
>dead fucking silence
>everyone is staring at me
>say "I don't like hornets"
>sit down and pretend nothing happened
Fucking hornets, man

top 17 comments
sorted by: hot top controversial new old
[–] tkk13909@sopuli.xyz 100 points 8 months ago (4 children)

I'm with anon on this one, man. Fuck hornets and fuck anyone who thinks it's a good idea to shake one up in a classroom. I have a serious fear of wasps and hornets as well so this is probably what I would do in this situation as well.

[–] rockerface@lemm.ee 66 points 8 months ago* (last edited 8 months ago)

Even if it's not hornets in particular, fuck teacher who knew about anon's phobia, got asked repeatedly to not allow something that would trigger it and still went with it. That's just fucked up as a human being, let alone a teacher

[–] AI_toothbrush@lemmy.zip 22 points 8 months ago (1 children)

Not only that but if he has a severe fear of anything actually just listen to him and avoid giving a panic attack to anyone.

[–] Black616Angel@feddit.de 17 points 8 months ago

I remember being in some kind of summer camp with a random assortment of teenagers. Some "therapist" is there to teach us about fears or smth. One of the girls tells him about her irrational fear of spiders.
He's like:"Let me try something."
She begins to panic saying "please don't, I am in therapy and its hard for me."
He just ignores her, folds his hands, like he holds something. Says "Imagine I am holding a spider in my hands."
Girl gets panic attack. Can barely breathe and sobs.

He looks completely flabbergasted.

Who could have seen that coming?

[–] thegiddystitcher@lemm.ee 13 points 8 months ago

Yep I would 100% panic, when you panic you are not in control of your actions. Justice for anon!

[–] RampantParanoia2365@lemmy.world 10 points 8 months ago

No, fuck the dumb shit kid who didn't screw the cap on. Kid deserved his neck brace.

[–] MeDuViNoX@sh.itjust.works 52 points 8 months ago (1 children)

I would have just left as soon as they brought it into class. I'll take detention or whatever.

[–] Death_Equity@lemmy.world 45 points 8 months ago* (last edited 8 months ago) (3 children)

I'd have just walked down to the dean and explained the situation like I did when I made the teacher cry.

Edit: Short version of making a teacher cry;

The teacher was a 30-something that probably was a HS art teacher because she missed her HS years and couldn't teach anything harder than art. Wanted to be friends with her students, just so you know the type.

I had a flaccid Mohawk and was probably in the bottom of the short-list of possible school shooters to anyone who didn't know me. Never took anything seriously and loved to not give a single fuck. So you know me.

A student told a "funny" story about how he harassed a mentally handicapped school employee to make him agitated. The teacher and a few students were laughing. I was sat right in front of the teacher and was silently fuming at the whole thing. Apparently I was not able to visibly hide my feelings about the situation, which caused the teacher to giggle out a "What's wrong?"

I lost it and tore her down for being a poor example of a human being and a horrible teacher by laughing at the expense of a down's school employee and encouraging that type of behavior from a degenerate student. She was leaking at this point, I saw blood and wanted to make sure she would have something to remember. Told her she should be ashamed of herself. Told her she should be setting a better example.

She choked out "I thought we were friends?" Not friends, you are suppose to be a mentor and a role model as a teacher, failing on both counts. I would never call someone like you a friend because your character disgusts me.

"Just, go to the dean." As she sobbed. I said "gladly". Went to the dean and told him what happened, halfway through he stopped working on his paperwork he was working on before I got there, clearly WTFing in his head. I was escorted back to get my things that I had left. She was still crying and being comforted by some students.

For standing up for the employee and verbally eviscerating the teacher, I was failed out of the two classes I had with that teacher and suspended for a day. I ended up getting early release and picking up a second TA class with my HS mentor, who laughed and applauded my right thing done the wrong way. I had multiple teachers approach me and quietly express their gratitude for my actions. I am not aware of any consequences of her poor character, aside from a meeting she had with administration. She would later leave the school a couple years later for unknown reasons.

[–] Shard@lemmy.world 21 points 8 months ago (1 children)

Don't leave us hanging big boy

[–] Death_Equity@lemmy.world 11 points 8 months ago

See edit.

[–] sukhmel@programming.dev 12 points 8 months ago (1 children)

Sounds like an interesting story

[–] Death_Equity@lemmy.world 5 points 8 months ago

See edit.

[–] SuddenDownpour@sh.itjust.works 1 points 8 months ago

I am not aware of any consequences of her poor character, aside from a meeting she had with administration.

Happens all the fucking time. Bottom of the hierarchy, get flak for acting out of line, even if it's commendable. Be in the graces of the right people, and the limits of what is acceptable become a lot wider.

[–] ThrowawayPermanente@sh.itjust.works 14 points 8 months ago (1 children)

I would like to have a civil conversation about your statement. Would you mind showing me evidence of any negative thing any hornet has ever done to you?

[–] Gullible@sh.itjust.works 20 points 8 months ago

This guy’s working for the hornets. Get ‘im!!

( ╯° □ ° ）╯︵ ┻━┻

[–] umbrella@lemmy.ml 10 points 8 months ago

yo but fearing hornets is not irrational at all

[–] sugar_in_your_tea@sh.itjust.works 8 points 8 months ago

Yeah, I can see why Anon doesn't like hornets anymore.