this post was submitted on 01 Mar 2024
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Greentext

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This is a place to share greentexts and witness the confounding life of Anon. If you're new to the Greentext community, think of it as a sort of zoo with Anon as the main attraction.

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If you find yourself getting angry (or god forbid, agreeing) with something Anon has said, you might be doing it wrong.

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Early_To_Risa@sh.itjust.works
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Anon likes sharpners (i.ibb.co)
submitted 8 months ago by Gullible@sh.itjust.works to c/greentext@sh.itjust.works
56 comments fedilink hide all child comments
 

[typos preserved]

>be me
>4th grade
>bring 3 sharpners to school
>friend tells me thats a lot of sharpners
>bring 3 more sharpners the next day >friend gives me his sharpner to grow my collection
>start collecting more and more sharpners
>go to stationary every week to by more sharpners
>collect about 70 sharpners by the end of the month
>start bringing a tiny bag to carry thoes sharpner
>english teacher asks for a sharpner
>offer her the bag thinking she'd be impressed
>sees all my sharpners and writes a note to my parents
>only allowed to bring 1 sharpner
>idea.jpg
>make a huge sharpner out of cardboard
>dad helps me to color it with red and silver spray paint
>display it on my table during the english period
>get sent to the office

fun days

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[–] z00s@lemmy.world 129 points 8 months ago (2 children)

Eng teacher missed the opportunity to bring a giant pencil

[–] sukhmel@programming.dev 74 points 8 months ago (3 children)

Besides, why do they only allow for one sharpener? Seems like a complete bullshit for the sake of forcing compliance

[–] kilgore_trout@feddit.it 100 points 8 months ago* (last edited 8 months ago) (1 children)

School often represses creativity in favor of compliance.

Doesn't have to have a reason. The teacher finds something strange, you are punished. Think of blonde hair in Japanese schools.

In my parents' times, going to school in jeans was forbidden (in center Europe).

[–] witty_username@feddit.nl 58 points 8 months ago (2 children)

Yup. Because schools primarily serve to create workers. Actual education is merely permitted when it does not interfere with the main aim of creating workers

[–] Etterra@lemmy.world 23 points 8 months ago

It's an industrial era system in the 21st century. What could possibly go ~~wrong~~ right?

[–] kilgore_trout@feddit.it 21 points 8 months ago (2 children)

I don't think teachers are thinking about creating workers. They just apply the way they were raised.

[–] sukhmel@programming.dev 26 points 8 months ago

But applying without thinking doesn't mean that it doesn't serve a purpose, it just means they don't know what the purpose is

[–] oce@jlai.lu 4 points 8 months ago

Not on Lemmy, here everything bad is because of capitalism, humans would be perfect if they hadn't bitten into the capitalism apple.

[–] Maalus@lemmy.world 38 points 8 months ago (1 children)

Anon was probably a smartass about it and the teacher made a new rule instead of dealing with it in some other way. Him making that giant sharpener is additional evidence of that

[–] sukhmel@programming.dev 17 points 8 months ago (1 children)

It probably is true. Still, that's a shitty way of dealing with matters in school

[–] merde@sh.itjust.works 10 points 8 months ago (1 children)

how many kids are there in her class? how much time does she have for each kid. Is this "need for attention" an exception or does our "be me" has a list of creative endeavors this teacher had to deal with already?

Are teachers well paid in this society?

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[–] BruceTwarzen@kbin.social 2 points 8 months ago

I had two teachers like that. 4th and 5th grade.

[–] marduk@lemmy.sdf.org 2 points 8 months ago

My English teacher tried to flunk me in Jr. High

[–] Rolder@reddthat.com 88 points 8 months ago

Now that’s some quality father son bonding

[–] Etterra@lemmy.world 76 points 8 months ago (2 children)

A good prank harms no one.

A+ kid, well done.

[–] Pat_Riot@lemmy.today 23 points 8 months ago

Good on Dad for helping out too

[–] PostaL@lemmy.world 3 points 8 months ago

F to the teacher

[–] ReputedlyDeplorable@lemmy.world 62 points 8 months ago (3 children)

The teacher missed an opportunity to encourage the anon, “Oh anon how kind of you to carry around enough sharpeners to share with those who don’t have any, thank you!” That said 70 is a lot, I just hate when teachers only see the negative side of things and punish kids for stupid reasons.

[–] Xanis@lemmy.world 42 points 8 months ago (1 children)

Teacher saw something they thought was stupid. They made a power play. Saw kid work around it and took it personally. Asserted limited authority.

Being a teacher is a tough job. Thing is, just like with therapy: If you've reached the point where you're going to throw around that authority willy-nilly, you are no longer a leader, you're a bully. Fuck off and work somewhere else.

Course this may not be the whole story. Could be the kid had been a nuisance for months before this point with the sharpie bag being the excuse a child's mind would focus on when other behaviors were the real cause.

[–] ReputedlyDeplorable@lemmy.world 4 points 8 months ago

Yes, you are correct on all points. But even if there were prior issues encouraging words can turn things around, no reason to discourage and frustrate children over something small.

[–] maynarkh@feddit.nl 13 points 8 months ago (1 children)

Yeah, it feels that punishments like these are just to force conformance. How dare you do something childishly funny as a child!

[–] MirthfulAlembic@lemmy.world 6 points 8 months ago

I'm pretty sure "ensuring conformance" was listed in the discipline section of the handbook at a school I went to as a kid. They viewed it explicitly as their duty.

[–] Jax@sh.itjust.works 2 points 8 months ago

I just hate when teachers only see the negative side of things and punish kids for stupid reasons

Yeah I hate how most teachers treat little boys too

[–] Tar_alcaran@sh.itjust.works 58 points 8 months ago (1 children)

True pettyness is its own reward

[–] merde@sh.itjust.works 2 points 8 months ago

🤣

[–] NounsAndWords@lemmy.world 41 points 8 months ago (2 children)

I've always held a sliver of hope that the Principal knew which teachers were full of shit and sending kids to their office just because they're bad teachers.

[–] TexMexBazooka@lemm.ee 7 points 8 months ago

They might know, but usually they’re too busy to do much about it outside of extraordinary circumstances

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[–] Underwaterbob@lemm.ee 37 points 8 months ago (1 children)

I knew a guy in high school that would use the blades from sharpeners and pen ink to give himself tattoos. They were about as good as you can imagine.

[–] RealFknNito@lemmy.world 26 points 8 months ago (2 children)

Bet he grew up to have a successful career in prison.

[–] Underwaterbob@lemm.ee 10 points 8 months ago

I lost touch, but it seems likely.

[–] NounsAndWords@lemmy.world 8 points 8 months ago

Possibly as a laser tattoo removal specialist?

[–] BluesF@lemmy.world 33 points 8 months ago (4 children)

I once, fatefully, wondered what would happen if I sharpened my little finger (it fit so well) and now I can't even look at the damn things. Anyway, now you have you think about that too. Tbf the way the nail peeled was briefly very satisfying before it went too far...

[–] RealFknNito@lemmy.world 17 points 8 months ago (1 children)

I've never cringed so hard that I puckered my lips until today. This was worse than the concept of nailclippers on teeth.

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[–] BattleScarredFox@lemmy.world 10 points 8 months ago

You could've stopped before that last sentence...

[–] tslnox@reddthat.com 5 points 8 months ago (1 children)

I'm pretty sure I once or twice tried sharpening my nail, but I never went too far.

On the other hand (pun intended) I once got the end of my fing the pinched between the pneumatic cylinder and the thing it was actuating. There was a bit of a clearance so it didn't flatten my digit, but it left a good amount of blood under my fingernail, which hurt a lot. A friend advised me to grab a small drill bit and put a hole into the nail so the pressure is relieved, but it didn't want to go through... Until it bit in and I drove it maybe a millimeter into my flesh. That hurt even more... But after a while it got way better.

[–] BluesF@lemmy.world 7 points 8 months ago

Oooooof. The skin under your nails is not meant to see the light of day and it shows. That shit is sensitive.

[–] Kedly@lemm.ee 4 points 8 months ago

Thanks for ruining my day! =D

[–] x4740N@lemmy.world 15 points 8 months ago (2 children)

Just buy one quality sharpener that isn't shit and will last

As someone who parents kept buying cheap sharpners every few years I hate cheap sharpners because they often break the tips of pencils and get jammed unless you apply a amount of force that starts to get uncomfortable if done for a while

[–] merde@sh.itjust.works 15 points 8 months ago

i don't think that the story was about sharpeners

but i can see that your sharpeners have traumatized you deeply and that's the 1st thing you hear when you read the "be me"

[–] Gullible@sh.itjust.works 9 points 8 months ago (2 children)

What do you look for when searching for a quality sharpener?

[–] Scavenger_Solardaddy@lemmy.ml 16 points 8 months ago (1 children)

It must have a sharpener sharp enough to sharpen.

[–] merde@sh.itjust.works 2 points 8 months ago (1 children)

you can just dismount the little blade and sharpen it

[–] andrew_bidlaw@sh.itjust.works 4 points 8 months ago* (last edited 8 months ago)

While normies studied lessons, I was studying the blade.

[–] PoorYorick@lemmy.world 5 points 8 months ago (1 children)

Not the original commenter, but high carbon steel blades, and preferably a magnesium body.

Something like https://www.jetpens.com/KUM-No.-410-Magnesium-Pencil-Sharpener-2-Hole/pd/16525#index=0

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[–] merc@sh.itjust.works 10 points 8 months ago (1 children)

You'd think that someone whose best story was about sharpeners would learn to spell sharpener.

[–] Gullible@sh.itjust.works 5 points 8 months ago (1 children)

My impression was that they were writing it as they contemporaneously verbalized it for effect and/or whimsy. Kids eat the e.

[–] merc@sh.itjust.works 5 points 8 months ago

And then they go clubbing.

[–] megabat@lemm.ee 3 points 8 months ago* (last edited 8 months ago)

Anon must be a young David Rees.

http://artisanalpencilsharpening.com/

[–] Sotuanduso@lemm.ee 3 points 8 months ago

This was me with pencils, except I never got in trouble for it and my parents weren't fans.

[–] dejected_warp_core@lemmy.world 2 points 8 months ago (1 children)

Hot take: OP went to grade school with 70 razor blades in his backpack. That probably had something to do with the response here.

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