Socialanxiety

"You don't seem like an introvert!"

"but you're always so good at talking to others!"

Thanks, it took several public speaking and performance classes, an institutionalized-isolation style leadership seminar, 20 years of public speaking and livestreaming, a degree in psychology, and countless books on self actualization, positivity training, etc. to be able to hide it and keep it from negatively effecting my life most days.

Now, if you'll excuse me, I'll be sitting alone in my room. Tell my wife I said, "Hello."

I don't get particularly annoyed at it, but it does come up a lot: the idea that social anxiety and introversion are the same thing. While I do need a certain amount of "me time", I'm primarily an extrovert. However, when I talk about social anxiety, people almost always assume that I'm an introvert.

I tend to prefer gatherings with small groups of friends, or events in familiar environments in order to get my fill of "people time" without triggering my anxiety too badly. I also enjoy meeting and talking to new people, even though it's a bit nerve-wracking.

I'll go first (since i forgot to add mine in the post) I dislike it very much when someone thinks they can "cure" my shyness/anxiety by putting a spotlight on me or putting me in a cringy situation. It just makes me wish the earth would swallow me whole.

Therapist: “Well you seem fine talking to me right now, so…”

First when someone tells me everything is fine mid panic attack… noitsnotfuckingfine.jpg

From the other side…. That it can’t get better. It’s hard and it takes a lot of work but does get better!

"you just need some time outside"

it gets better with time. no it won't

That I was stuck up and unapproachable. This was told to me after I attended a large event with a crowd of strangers and all I could do was stand by a wall and semi-hide from everyone. I was having a really bad anxiety moment, and this person took the opportunity to point out how shitty I was...

I lived for a long time with other students in a shared house we rented. Did not talk about my social anxiety much but it came up once or twice.

The comment I always got was "But you are not bad at socializing!", so I guess a common misconception is that people with social anxiety might be bad at it. But that is separate from the issue. Might be that we have not gotten as much training due to avoiding social interaction. But if I'm with people like my roommates, that I have extensively gotten used to, I don't feel the anxiety and it does not hinder me.