this post was submitted on 08 Feb 2024
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Greentext

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This is a place to share greentexts and witness the confounding life of Anon. If you're new to the Greentext community, think of it as a sort of zoo with Anon as the main attraction.

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[–] idunnololz@lemmy.world 86 points 9 months ago* (last edited 9 months ago) (2 children)

This would be way funnier if the age was revealed at the end.

be me
balls deep in milf
guy catches me
drags me out of bed by my foot
cuts my dick with a knife
couldn't walk for 2 years
0 yo

[–] z500@startrek.website 33 points 9 months ago

My eyes skipped right over the 0 yo part, and it was quite droll

[–] CluckN@lemmy.world 10 points 9 months ago

Couldn’t walk for 2 years is a good enough hint that it’s a newborn.

[–] Sanctus@lemmy.world 77 points 9 months ago (4 children)

You just call your own mom a milf...?

[–] Gullible@sh.itjust.works 68 points 9 months ago

Hell yeah, my mom’s a milf. A matriarchal introducer of love and fun.

[–] De_Narm@lemmy.world 27 points 9 months ago (2 children)

Just for good meassure I've searched the term and it seems like people kind of forgot it's an acronym. Most definitions just say 'attractive older woman'.

[–] PunnyName@lemmy.world 17 points 9 months ago* (last edited 9 months ago) (2 children)

Which is what I thought cougar described. Kids these days!

Edit: this has created a short comment chain that I adore..

[–] SpaceNoodle@lemmy.world 24 points 9 months ago (1 children)

No, a cougar is specifically on the prowl for fresh, young meat.

[–] ivanafterall@kbin.social 10 points 9 months ago (1 children)
[–] dohpaz42@lemmy.world 19 points 9 months ago (1 children)
[–] baldingpudenda@lemmy.world 19 points 9 months ago (1 children)
[–] Ironfist@sh.itjust.works 9 points 9 months ago

well, yes! Hurry up! Get your cougar!

[–] nieceandtows@programming.dev 19 points 9 months ago

I thought cougar was for women actively hunting for prey.

[–] TheBat@lemmy.world 8 points 9 months ago (1 children)

Even older part isn't relevant anymore. A 22 year old with a toddler is called milf.

THAT'S NOT WHAT IT MEANS.

[–] shasta@lemm.ee 7 points 9 months ago (1 children)
[–] TheBat@lemmy.world -1 points 9 months ago (1 children)

Nope.

MILF is someone who is considered attractive by peers of her children. Think Stacey's mom. So the theoretical milf can't be younger than 30.

[–] acockworkorange@mander.xyz 2 points 9 months ago (1 children)

You're right. American Pie corroborates your findings.

[–] TheBat@lemmy.world 2 points 9 months ago

Of course it does. That was when the word still hadn't lost its meaning.

[–] ObstreperousCanadian@lemmy.ca 13 points 9 months ago

His name is Oedipus.

[–] Akasazh@feddit.nl 7 points 9 months ago

Freud thought so

[–] slaacaa@lemmy.world 31 points 9 months ago

I bet you also cried. What a cuck

[–] deegeese@sopuli.xyz 29 points 9 months ago (1 children)

Didn’t learn to walk until age 2?

[–] EldritchFeminity@lemmy.blahaj.zone 12 points 9 months ago

What, you think he came outta the pussy drawing Mozart? At age 6, he was born without a mouth.

[–] lvxferre@mander.xyz 22 points 9 months ago (3 children)

cuts my dick with a knife

...what?

[–] hemko@lemmy.dbzer0.com 71 points 9 months ago (1 children)

Male genital mutilation, or Circumcision in American English

[–] lvxferre@mander.xyz 6 points 9 months ago

Ah, got it. Thanks.

[–] Flax_vert@feddit.uk 24 points 9 months ago

In America and other Muslim countries, they mutilate the genitals of baby boys upon being born

[–] Lux@lemmy.blahaj.zone 4 points 9 months ago

Circumcision

[–] radix@lemm.ee 16 points 9 months ago

what is this google ass font

[–] dangblingus@lemmy.dbzer0.com 12 points 9 months ago

Calls his own mom a milf. Most sane 4channer.

[–] NutWrench@lemmy.ml 7 points 9 months ago

That is NOT a proper Haiku. 5-7-5, dude!

[–] KingJalopy@lemm.ee 2 points 9 months ago
[–] RampantParanoia2365@lemmy.world 0 points 9 months ago

Is the MHLF....his own?