Ask Lemmy

Not anymore, I grew out of it. I'm in my mid-40s now, and after decades of being the weird, nerdy guy who had people wondering whether he might be gay because he doesn't have a girlfriend (spoiler: yes, he is) I've given up caring.

People I'm close to will talk to me instead of talking about me, and everyone else can talk whatever they want. I don't need to know what they're saying about me because I don't need the whole world to like me.

Personally, I also don't participate in gossiping about others at all, and I find it disgusting how many people think they have a right to judge others.

I think the majority of people are offended and/or curious about what's being said about them if they learn of it.

I'm kind of with you on this one. There's a saying I got from an ex that I keep with me and pass on as much as I can because it really opened up my eyes to not caring about that kinda stuff.

What other people think about me is none of my business.

I only care about what my very close friends think about me, and as you said, if they have something to say they will say it to me.

Everyone else can think and say whatever they want, I'm indifferent to it.

No, definitely not bothered. But it wasn't always this way. I was very self-conscious from my teenage years up to the first few years when I started working full-time.

It was only when I started working that I had to learn to deal with it. I was always taking feedback and criticisms very personally and as an introvert, felt extremely down plenty of times.

I taught myself to see things from the perspective and scale of the world - 7 billion people out there, what does it matter that a few people think of what I do, or what I am?

Of course, cutting out social media definitely helped a lot too. I still have my accounts, but have stopped using them actively, at least the ones that expose my personal life.

With social media out of the picture, I was comparing myself to my peers a lot less and spent much more time on productive things instead - learning a new language, skills, picking up new hobbies and all.

It's not easy, but it is liberating once you figure it out.

Not really, to be honest, because it would stress me out to go through all the possible scenarios what people could say about me. And the scenarios in my mind would probably be worse than the reality, so no need to bother myself with it.

It bothers me for a moment, then I'm reminded of how insignificant we are in the universe and go back to my usual existential dread

Extremely.

I'm old enough now that I'm able to accept the fact that it's just going to happen so I try not to think about it.

I'm not a very religious person but I firmly believe in the commandment that gossiping is a sin.

I don't just get bothered when people talk about me, I get bothered when I hear people talk about other people that aren't in the room.

Used to be, as I get older I care less about what other people think.

There was a time when I cared so much what others might think and say about me and I used to do things to please people. But I grew out of it. Now I don't care at all. If they are talking behind my back then they are not worthy of my time at all. Those who care about me will talk to me, also I am who I am and I'm fine with it.

I mean... It depends on what they're saying.

If it's a bunch of bullshit lies, then yeah it would bother me. Unless they're nice lies. Like "mmm... Kolanaki is so handsome." I know it's not true but it wouldn't bother me.

Not bothered really, but curious for sure! Not in the sense that I care for their opinion, but I'm just curious.

I've found it's not that common as well, most people base their decisions at least partially on what other people will think about them.

I’m just happy they’re thinking about me! All press is good press.