The Onion

4497 readers

859 users here now

The Onion

A place to share and discuss stories from The Onion, Clickhole, and other satire.

Great Satire Writing:

founded 2 years ago

MODERATORS

seahorse@midwest.social

pbrisgreat@midwest.social

Man Keeps Squirt Of KY Jelly In His Wallet In Case He Gets Lucky (www.theonion.com)

submitted 10 months ago by tree@lemmy.zip to c/theonion@midwest.social

6 comments fedilink hide all child comments

link: https://www.theonion.com/man-keeps-squirt-of-ky-jelly-in-his-wallet-in-case-he-g-1851163900

top 6 comments

sorted by: hot top controversial new old

[–] imposedsensation@lemmynsfw.com 1 points 10 months ago (1 children)

Is this just spam? There isn't even any content on the page, just spam adverts.

[–] chemical_cutthroat@lemmy.world 20 points 10 months ago (1 children)

It's "News in Photos" which is The Onion's version of, "We came up with a funny headline, but no one wants to write the article."

[+] ThePantser@lemmy.world -15 points 10 months ago (3 children)

Geeze they could just use AI to write something. I did one attempt and it follows.

In an unusual turn of events, local resident Alan Walletson has been dubbed the "Prepared Romantic" for his unique approach to serendipity. Sporting a wallet that's more like a treasure trove, Alan proudly reveals his secret weapon: a discreet squit of lube tucked between credit cards and receipts. Friends say he's just ensuring that if luck strikes, he's ready to slip and slide into romance with unmatched preparedness. Stay slick, Alan!

[–] jaycifer@kbin.social 13 points 10 months ago

Well that sure is a paragraph composed of sentences with words. It even has all the words from the headline in it! Too bad there’s no humor in it.

[–] Pons_Aelius@kbin.social 12 points 10 months ago

Geeze they could just use AI to write something.

Ever heard the phrase: A picture is worth a thousands words?

I'll take a picture and no words over LLM dribble any day.

[–] Fuckfuckmyfuckingass@lemmy.world 7 points 10 months ago

I really don't think much more than the headline needs saying. It's short, sweet, to the point. They whipped up a nice little photoshop. Got a nice laugh outta me. Also see the related articles underneath. Got another chuckle outta me.