A loosely moderated place to ask open-ended questions
Search asklemmy π
If your post meets the following criteria, it's welcome here!
Looking for support?
Looking for a community?
~Icon~ ~by~ ~@Double_A@discuss.tchncs.de~
Go to the nearest jewelry store and buy everything in it. Wait an hour, return it as per the refund policy. If there is no refund policy then I would sell it off. Even if I lost 50% on the sell back, that's still half a mil in cash.
Most popular jewelers have at least a 30 day refund policy.
This has been my go to answer if the hair stylist asked what I'd do. I'd go to different jewlery stores, because they'd still call the cops if you wanna buy stuff for a million.
(I forgot to add the "no returning items" rule; but since you added the "selling it off" part I think it's fine, hehe)
I would buy four tickets on a mini-sub tour of the Titanic and give them to 4 billionaires.
It's 10:15pm in suburban Colorado, and I'm purchasing one sexual favor from my husband for $1 million.
One? You've got a whole hour! That's probably 7 or 8 at least!
...right?
Let's put it this way. It's a 45-min session for $900,000... and at some point I also make it rain with the remainder of the cash.
I'm in Switzerland, so I buy a leisurely coffee and croissant. With the change I buy a bottle of water.
1 million in index funds which I will reinvest later.
The post specified cash. How would you purchase $1m in index funds with cash in an hour?
Where do you go that accepts 1M in cash without calling the cops? And who manages to count that much money? And who won't call the cops if the money suddenly vanishes?
First I would bang on a neighbor's door and pay them to follow me with a camera then run into the fairly nearby motorbike shop and yell 'quick I'm doing a Mr Beast challenge I need to spend a million dollars in the next half hour!' all four guys working would jump at it especially if I said 'give yourself 10% commission on each one'
The only other shop near that isn't just groceries is a wedding dress shop so I guess while they're getting the paperwork ready I'd run in and buy their most expensive white gowns so that we could ride in style - though the train might get caught in the chain...
Oh and I'd run into the pub and tell them to ring up as much as possible before the time runs out so we can all go there after to relax.
I'm on a flight 35,000 feet above the Gobi Desert. The cash is pretty much useless to me. In fact it's a bit bulky and I'll be glad to see the back of it.
Plus, nothing on this flight can be bought for any kind of dollars.
I'd buy at least 10 snickers and a bottle of wine or something, right?
What could a banana cost, Michael? $10?
It's kinda late here in Europe, but I would immediately go to my neighbour and explain the situation quickly.
His house isn't worth a million dollars but I would buy it for 1 million dollars anyway, after the sale is done, I'd sell it back to him for a price so after taxes we would each get half. We know each other well enough to trust that we won't screw the other...
Why do these always exist before the internet? We can order bullion online now. It's almost midnight in a fairly rural area
But yeah, I know a guy that will sell certain things for cash that normally require legal hurdles. But if you show up, cash in hand, he'll backdate things on his end. One phone call, I could buy out his stock in fifteen minutes because I'm a regular customer he trusts. He's usually got a few hundred thousand of goods in place.
Barring that, I'm kinda screwed at this time of night.
I know a couple of farmers that would let me buy livestock in cash like this, but that's only going to be a few thousand bucks.
I know a weed dealer that would be able to give me a few pounds if he's got it in, but I would have to call and ask how much he has.
Do services count? If so, I've got an idea for a cheat lol. Hire my wife for a back rub.
So, I just took a second and sent a text to an acquaintance and explained the scenario. Turns out you can buy a car in an hour or less. It's just a matter of paperwork to make the sale official. So, if you know a car dealer, and they have enough on their lot, you could easily get rid of most of that million in time. Most of the time wasted isn't really necessary. If the dealer and the buyer are already on the same page with the price, you could get as many cars as you have time to sign for.
Everything is closed.
Plan A: I could try to stuff an atm full of cash, but I'd be investigated for fraud, counterfitting or something. I would record myself holding the cash, wave it in front of all the security cameras I could to show that I legitimately have it, then insert it as much into the ATM as I could and acquire reciepts. In $100 bills I can put 50 at a time so $5000.If it stops accepting any money, I could try a crypto ATM too. Countersue the bank for stealing my money if they claim I'm responsible for the disappearance.
Plan B: I can reach the airport in under a half hour, I could convert it to USD as much they let me before leaving. They might accept 10k that way.
The trouble is, I will be asked about the origin of the money, "It just appeared in front of me/A genie gave it to me/I dug it out of the ground" are reasons that might not hold up well in court.
E: Wait does "spent" money vanish or does it stay?
I'm screwed.
It's 8pm on a Sunday and I'm stuck in hospital temporarily unable to walk, so I can't really buy anything in the next hr :(
Guess I may as well share it with the nurses. If I can't give it away, then maybe buy a hug from each one, or a massage, or ... no let's not go there!
Anyway, better to share it than let it lapse :)
Buy a bunch of prepaid debit cards and use it to buy a bunch of random bullshit from ebay and Amazon. Won't be able to get anywhere near $1M worth of prepaid cards but whatever. When all the pointless shit shows up in my doorstep, resell for like 75% of its original value.
I'd buy a $1M hug from someone I'm very close to. Then offer them a $500K hug.
It doesn't break rule 3 as written.
Depending on timing, as long as there's a bank branch near me when this deal starts (which, there is one ~10 minutes drive from me); I would head there first, 100%. I'd pay off every debt I have with the bank, Credit Cards, lines of credit, etc. Should take 20 minutes or so, it's not a large number of debts, but it's not a trivial amount.
I'd then drive across the city to the bank that holds my mortgage, and give them whatever is left.... either as pre-payment towards my mortgage, or simply to buy out the mortgage and pay it off.
I wouldn't have much left after that; but I'm hoping I can get all that done in an hour. If, at that point, I have enough time remaining to buy anything, I'd probably see if I could hit up the nearest hardware store and buy all the power tool batteries I can find. Just the batteries, because damn that shit is expensive.
Transport in my area is so shit it would take me an hour just to get to a place I could spend cash; I would buy nothing.
Except maybe a therapist out of my own pocket to deal with something dangling financial stability in front of me.
Gold
Quito Ecuador at 8:30pm on a Sunday night. Nothing other than small cornerstores and liquor shops are open. So I guess I'll buy as much liquor as I can to resell later.
I would immediately pay off all of my debts in my online banking/credit cards/student loan/utility accounts, send my Landlord my rent early via Zelle, login to my parent's mortgage and credit card accounts and pay them all off, pay off all of my wife's student loans and credit cards and business loans via her online accounts, and spend the rest on ebay gift cards.
It's cash though, how do you pay all those things off with cash in only 1 hour? If you walk into a bank with 1 million cash and ask to deposit it, that might set off some red flags.
It's definitely gonna set off red flags when the cash disappears an hour later.
Damn. I read "cash" as "liquid assets." and not necessarily, like, physical benjamins.
I guess I'd hustle over to the midtown and buy every single Rolex and Omega I could get my hands on at Watches of Switzerland, Bucherer, and Wempe. Probably would hit the half-million mark real fast and would then re-sell them at leisure
Cheap Answer: Go to my nearest Walmart/Grocery Store (10 minutes away from me)and max out all of the vanilla visa debit cards with the $1 million but after fees it wonβt be $1 million but I would still spend the million.
Actual Answer: Luckily Iβm in a prime spot where I live that Iβm 20 minutes away from Lamborghini, Aston Martin, and other luxury car dealerships. So Iβd go there and purchase how many cars I can with the million. After I sign, sell them back to the dealership or sell them privately.
Do you really think they are not going to call the cops if a dude shows up with $1 million in cash to buy cars, asking to speed up the transaction? No way are they not gonna.
I'm in Vegas, 22:22, so.. $1 million dollars of food, water, and sun screen for the un housed.
Well i am not going to respond to this post until I am in the bank....Ahh crap.
Well Sunday afternoon.... Ummm
I would probably look for a local gold/ prescious metals shop. But i don't know if they have that much on hand.
An alternative would be Costco. I should be able to get there in 15 minutes and then maybe that is enough time for me to explain the situation and give me a bar code scanner and access to that locked room with all of the expenses stuff is. And I will just start scanning like mad.
Along the way to Costco i can call family and friends and they can meet me there to help coordinate.
After that it is just a matter of reselling everything. Or i guess it is Costco i could just return it all. Although that doesn't feel right lol.
I would "buy" an agreement with my parents that from then on they will purchase for me whatever i ask them toβup to a total of a million dollars.
I'll just call everyone to distribute the money to. Spread the information about. When the money disappears people think I'm a magician
Industry town, 1pm
Too many answers trying to game the system. Have fun with it!
If this was earlier in the day, I would drive to a pinball arcade that is maybe 40 minutes away, and offer them the entire million for every pinball machine they had. Hopefully the owner could be contacted and close the deal within the remaining 20 minutes.
I wish there would be time to buy a boat. I know nothing about sailing or maintaining a boat, but I would love to just drive to a marina and just get a 50 foot sailing boat.