OK lets start with the phone, what app is responsible for the suspicious activity message? Because I'm not aware that is part of Android. The closest symptom is that Android will disconnect from networks that it claims do not have internet connectivity. Which would fit more closely with your intermittent connection issues. We could really also do with knowing what router you are using for the actual internet. It sounds like you are using mesh system for the wireless side of things. Can we also know are you using the ISP DNS server, or have you pointed the router to more reliable DNS servers? You should probably never use the ISP DNS servers - aside from any other reason, because it makes it much easier for the ISP to record what sites you are visiting.
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The warning thing is apparently a popup, from some Samsung thing it seems: https://web.archive.org/web/20230609040346/https://old.reddit.com/r/AskNetsec/comments/caiugx/galaxy_s10_detect_suspicious_networks has the same model as the phone with the popup.
It is a mesh system yes, two ASUS ZenWiFi CT8 boxes.
For DNS I don't know, there's a good chance it's the ISP DNS. Is there a way to check?
OK, so the first thing we can see there in the comments is that someone found that with that setting turned on, it prevented the phone from being able to roam between access points, so that's probably the issue with the phone.
As for the next part login to the router, find the part about configuring the internet connection and in there will be something like WAN DNS or something, if it's set to get it automatically - then it will be using whatever the ISP set when you receive your WAN IP address from them. I typically use 8.8.8.8 (Google) and 1.1.1.1 (Cloudflare) which gives me redundancy if Google or Cloudflare fall over, it's not likely both will fall over at the same time without some major global internet outage.