this post was submitted on 22 Jun 2023
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Gaming

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I, like many gamers, grew up playing Pokémon Red and Nintendo 64 and was obsessed with Nintendo products. I graduated to a PS2 and PS3 and became super into Metal Gear Solid and Call of Duty and Fallout. Also spent a ton of time with the Guitar Hero series. I loved the escape gaming brought me and it genuinely helped me relax.

Fast forward a few years and I hadn’t really played a video game between the years of like 2011-2017. College, moving cross country and busyness of life kept me from gaming. Finally in 2017, I bought a Switch and Breath of the Wild and felt the same magical feeling I remember when I first started playing Ocarina of Time, or the first time I booted up Metroid Prime, or Metal Gear Solid 4. I started to get into online gaming and made a lot of friends. I played my Switch frequently for a few years.

During the beginning of COVID lockdowns, I turned more to reading than gaming and my Switch gathered lots of dust. I ultimately ended up buying an Xbox Series S when it was announced because I’d never owned an Xbox system and Game Pass really intrigued me. I went through a phase of being very into Destiny 2, Halo, Gears of War, Forza Horizon…a bunch of games I had never played before.

Then, a divorce, a new job change, another cross country move brought new levels of stress to my life. I lacked an attention span strong enough to focus on a video game. FPS’s seemed boring, online games couldn’t keep my attention long enough to get through a match, and eventually I’d just leave a game on the pause menu while I messed around mindlessly on my phone. Gaming wasn’t even a way for me to decompress anymore, it seemed more like a chore I was procrastinating—which sucks.

I’ve fallen deeper into this lately, as more life changes have come along. I work a stressful job with long hours. I’m now a stepparent to two young boys. The little free time I have I spend walking the dog, reading, and trying to just let my mind settle and decompress. Let alone, if I try to turn the Xbox on or have the Switch on my lap, it turns into a whole event where the kids want to sit and watch and participate and ask tons of questions (which is fine, but sometimes I just want to do something by myself for me!)

I miss the time of my youth where gaming was a relief and a release for me. I miss how I felt when I first got a Switch and felt so excited and so nostalgic and reinvigorated and looked forward to playing a game! Now…I feel like I can’t even consider myself a gamer.

So. That’s a long winded way to ask if anyone else has gone through similar ruts, or fallen away from gaming, and if so, what games helped you get that spark back? What games brought you back to that nostalgic feeling you had when you first got into gaming? What games help you decompress after a long day? What games have you recently become obsessed with in such a way that you look forward to playing them and are always thinking about them?

I want to get back into gaming. I want to feel the magic again.

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[–] Tomato_666@dataterm.digital 11 points 1 year ago (1 children)

I bought a steam deck. Its the best thing if you don't have lots of time as you can pause and turn it off and pick up where you left off later. Obviously that won't work for online games great for project zomboid though. YMMV

[–] jlh@lemmy.jlh.name 2 points 1 year ago

Yeah, definitely the best way to get back that GBA/NDS feeling.

[–] CorrodedCranium@lemmy.fmhy.ml 9 points 1 year ago (2 children)

Have you considered playing a shorter singleplayer game? I find I get fatigued by how long some games can go on for whether it's multiplayer like The Elder Scrolls Online or a sandbox game like Red Dead Redemption.

Maybe you could try something like GRIS? It's a relaxing game with a neat art style that that only takes about 3 hours to beat.

[–] ConstableJelly@beehaw.org 4 points 1 year ago

I mentioned Gris in my comment too! I'm in love with that game and second your recommendation.

[–] kiddblur@lemm.ee 1 points 1 year ago

Have you considered playing a shorter singleplayer game?

this is my trick as well. I use an app called Depressurizer to sort my steam library by both review score and length simultaneously and grab one of the higher rated <8 hour games I haven't played yet, then when I finish it, I find that my slump typically ends and I can pick up a longer game again.

Worth mentioning these days I play precisely zero multiplayer games (because i've got a toddler so i need to be able to pause whatever I'm playing)

[–] nlm@beehaw.org 8 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Try some chill single player games, ones that focus on a great story with no real difficulty. That helped a lot for me when I had a similar feeling.

Firewatch, the Life us Strange games, Road 96, Unravel, Superliminal to name a few.

I would add Far: Lone Sails to this!

[–] Manticore@beehaw.org 7 points 1 year ago

Nothing makes me enjoy games like moderation. But moderation isn't just how often you choose to play - it's also how much you're expected to play.

I'm going to discuss both, because I think people underestimate personal moderation. But I suspect gameplay moderation is your struggle.


Personal moderation:

Games mimic psychological fulfilment (problem-solving, self-actualisation, etc). But it's not in a lasting way, they're just more attainable.

It's like buying a chocolate bar vs cooking yourself a roast meal. It's easier, it's pleasant, and there's nothing wrong with enjoying it - but if it's the only thing I'm doing, and I never put in the work for something more satisfying, I feel unsatisfied - even emotionally 'sick' (bored, restless, ennui). When they are a treat at the end of a day, they feel great. But when they are my day, I struggle to enjoy them.

This is the trap that often catches directionless people (eg: depressed, NEET, lonely). They don't play games for games, they play them to avoid the anxiety or stress of cooking a roast meal. They eat chocolate until they feel sick, and then feel too sick to cook.


Gameplay moderation:

Games are designed for people who have time to burn. Teenagers, kids, some young adults. When you were younger, you could afford to burn that time, and it felt good, because each session meant you felt that hit of dopamine for problem-solving, achievement, and progression.

But now, you can't. You're an adult, you don't have that time. And yet games aren't being designed for you anymore, but the new kids and teens. They brag about dozens or even hundreds of hours of playtime, and bloat their content with grind. (if anything, the latter has gotten even worse.)

You only have an hour to play a game, and after that hour, there's no feeling of progression or advancement - the game expects you to give it more time than that. And without the feeling of progression and advancement, games don't feel as engaging.

That is why they feel like chores, like jobs; it's why you choose things that give immediate feedback like the internet. Games are asking you to put in too much time and then not giving you enough back.

Portal 2 is considered a masterful game at five hours long, because each hour is rewarding. Is Destiny? Is Halo? Froza?


If this is your concern, my suggestion would be to step back from the bigger scale games that want to monopolise time, and embrace smaller games from indie devs.

You'll get far more variety, they tend to be much denser. They're also cheap enough that it's worth it to try a bunch of things you might not have tried if they were AAA.

If somebody says a game is 'only 6 hours of gameplay', see that as a positive, not a negative. It probably means each hour is going to mean something.

[–] DecentFarts@beehaw.org 5 points 1 year ago (1 children)

I wouldn't recommend this with the sole reason being to get back into gaming. I started taking THC gummies and it is like being a kid again playing video games.

[–] kiddblur@lemm.ee 1 points 1 year ago

Haha exact opposite experience here. I started taking edibles and now I'd rather just scroll tiktok than commit to playing a game or watching a show

[–] FlashPossum@social.fossware.space 5 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Contrary opinion - it's OK to give up hobbies you don't enjoy any more.

Gaming was an important part of your life at one point. You remember it fondly because currently you are lacking something in your life, so you're thinking - I used to enjoy gaming so I should enjoy it again.

Doesn't work like that - people go through phases. Find what you enjoy now. Yes, maybe it's gaming again. Maybe its something else - hiking, fixing motorcycles, partying ... who knows. Experiment with activities until you find something that will make you burn again!

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[–] ConstableJelly@beehaw.org 5 points 1 year ago (3 children)

Have you played Outer Wilds by chance? I agree with many that it's probably one of the best games ever made, and I can't think of any game that better encapsulates what games should be capable of. It captures the magical potential of exploration and discovery like nothing else I've ever played. So many cool ideas waiting for you to figure out, and the process is just so fun.

Along those lines, I've just been growing fonder of smaller, indie-style games, which had never been my preference before now. Games like Gris, Little Nightmares, Hades (if you consider that "smaller"), Deliver Us the Moon have left a really positive impression. Many of them are imperfect, but I feel like there's a lot of love tangible in those experiences. Maybe I'm just imagining that, but they lack the bloat that has disillusioned me with a lot of the bigger games lately, and they feel more purposeful in general.

If you haven't, look through some lists of best indie games and see if anything jumps out at ya.

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[–] GandalfDG@beehaw.org 4 points 1 year ago

For me after some time away from PC gaming, getting a steam deck was one thing that got me back into it. The other thing though was definitely selecting relatively short games. I played a lot of open-ended games that I could never finish like rimworld or crusader kings, it was nice to get back into games with a beginning middle and end. And in the same vein it means I've been playing stuff that I was interested in playing back in the 2010s but didn't really have the time/money/hardware for

[–] hunte@beehaw.org 3 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Feeling the same, even tho my life hasn't been nearly as stressful as yours. Games, especially new single player games with thousands of hours of content just aren't fun for me anymore, even tho I loved Skyrim, Fallout, Dragon Age and Witcher. But I still find a lot of fun playing games with friends.

Especially DayZ. It's like, really just taking a long walk with friends in the forest, because that's what the game is lol. Strolling arounds in Cherno, sitting together at the campfire and talking about our days, sometimes meeting with strangers and sharing that experience (or getting into a stressful firefight 😅). These are really the best experiences I had with gaming to this day.

[–] Evolone@beehaw.org 2 points 1 year ago

Just downloaded DayZ on Game Pass! I'm going to check it out based on your experience you shared. Thank you!

[–] Mekboy_nutkrakka@aussie.zone 3 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

I play a lot less cause of depression and isolation so games I mainly play on my own are simple enough for me to play when my mind is fried and that I can quickly play little and come back no problem like do a level of Miitopia or like 1 or 2 races in Mario Kart.

I also feel like I need to get away from gaming right now but sadly I am stuck with lack of support from family and the mental health system.

What helps me the most is playing multiplayer locally mainly to deal with isolation and cause my connection is crap and i don't want to pay subscriptions for what used to be free.

To answer your question what games brought back i don't really have that but some games that grabbed onto me recent years are usually odd and silly games like Miitopia(has a demo on switch(Nintendo exclusive)), Bug Fables, Bugsnax, Cat Quest 2(has a demo on switch), What the Golf, Wandersong.

[–] hot_bowl_cold_soup@beehaw.org 3 points 1 year ago

The Forgotten City is the one that restored my hope in gaming.

[–] mananevergone@beehaw.org 3 points 1 year ago

I just homebrewed my Wii and have been having a blast playing GameCube and Wii games I never had but always wanted to try.

Naruto Clash of Ninja 4 for example is a PHENOMENAL game that I had never even heard of before two days ago

[–] Widget@kbin.social 3 points 1 year ago (1 children)

FPS’s seemed boring, online games couldn’t keep my attention long enough to get through a match, and eventually I’d just leave a game on the pause menu while I messed around mindlessly on my phone.

My partner does this.

One, you might have ADHD. I can't say, but you could look into it.

Secondly, you need to have some time to let your brain rest. When you bounce between tasks like that, you're never actually not doing something. People think of doomscrolling as taking a break, but really you're replacing your intended task with another task and there isn't a time where you do no task.

[–] Evolone@beehaw.org 1 points 1 year ago

Definitely need to figure out if it is ADHD, depression, or a combination...

On your second point: I also need to work on this. I find myself constantly "doing something". I'm listening to music while typing this; when I walk the dog, I'm listening to an audiobook or podcast. Same when I'm doing dishes or other chores. I rarely have "chill time" - or give myself that.

[–] Ragnell@kbin.social 3 points 1 year ago (1 children)

If you're depressed, sometimes you lose interest in your hobbies. You might want to look into seeing someone.

I will say, you seem a bit worried about no longer considering yourself a gamer, like this burnout has led to a crisis of identity. You are MORE than your hobbies. Gamer is a temporary state based on what you are doing. It is okay not to be one. You're still you.

[–] Evolone@beehaw.org 2 points 1 year ago

Thank you for this comment. I am working on myself and trying to see what I can do to help me get through this depression I've been experiencing.

I appreciate you reminding me that I am not defined by just my hobbies (or my work, or my failures, or whatever). I am me, and that is perfectly alright.

[–] Jarmo@lemm.ee 3 points 1 year ago

I have a very similar relationship with gaming. A similar break for college and a similar resurgence with BotW followed by a similar falling out because of kids haha.

I’ll be honest, it doesn’t feel the same anymore. I don’t think it ever wil again. But I’ll share the things that have come close to getting that feeling back.

  1. Online game night with friends - this puts me mentally back in the 90’s staying up late and gaming with friends. It’s more about the company and conversations than the game itself. I try to do this at least once a week.

  2. Gaming with my son - he’s 6 and we’ve been able to find a ton of games we love playing together, most notably Nintendo games. He loves all things Mario. We also run through games like Hot Wheels Unleashed, Luigi’s Mansion 3, Lego 2K Drive. Anything with a kid friendly co-op campaign has been fun.

  3. Allowing yourself to mentally move on from games once you’re not having fun - I used to have this issue with a mental backlog or feel badly for buying a game and then not beating it. Not sure if you have the same issue. But lately I’ve tried not to put too much pressure on myself to beat a game. If I’m not having fun I move on. Life is too short and game time is too precious to waste it on a game I’m not loving.

Hope this helps. Like I said, I don’t think it’ll ever feel the same, but this has helped it come close for me.

Super Mario Odyssey if you haven't already played it.

Really reignited that spark.

Also if you enjoyed BotW, Tears of the Kingdom is a fantastic sequel.

[–] HidingCat@kbin.social 2 points 1 year ago (2 children)

This does sound like something beyond gaming; you do have a lot on your plate like you said.

At different points in my life my gaming time also changed, depending on what my priorities are.

Eventually the want to game comes back and I'll spend a weekend or two on something fun.

It does sound like you're burnt out in general, and I'm not sure more gaming might help. I think the first thing to do is to find a way to establish some "me" time, like a solid block of an hour or two where you can do something for yourself. Doesn't have to be gaming, but it has to be for you. Once you can get that going you can work gaming into it, or some other hobby.

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[–] luciole@beehaw.org 2 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (1 children)

I feel you man. Are you sure you’re nostalgic about gaming itself and not about a time when you were carefree? Maybe you just need to find back your balance. I’m an anxious person and the worst episode I’ve had lasted roughly a year. Sick leave and everything. No interest for gaming for even longer than that. Worked on myself, picked up the pieces and the will to game came back slowly but surely. What I’m saying is maybe you need some healing before the next adventure?

[–] Evolone@beehaw.org 2 points 1 year ago

Spot on.

So much has happened in my life - lots of stresses, changes, and ups and downs - lately. And it has all happened SO fast, and in such rapid succession. I feel like I've been treading water for a long while and barely have enough energy to gasp for gulps of air.

[–] ImplyingImplications@lemmy.ca 2 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Lots of great recommendations here. For me, I've definitely found that shorter and more casual games have really helped me get back into it. Challenging single player games or competitive multiplayer games can just seem like too much for me after a stressful day or when I'm in a mood.

I have fun with idle games, automation games, visual novels, and small indie games. I find after playing one of those for a bit I feel ready to tackle something more challenging.

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[–] Skyler@kbin.social 2 points 1 year ago

During the pandemic, I tried Super Metroid for the first time ever. I just wanted to play a little bit of it to get a feel for it. It caught me hook, line, and sinker. If you missed out and are at all into retro gaming, can't recommend it highly enough.

[–] saigot@lemmy.ca 2 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

What did/do you play games for? Think about the moments you enjoyed the most and why. Just to name a few motivations: are you looking to get a sense of improvement and complete challenges, are you looking to live a fantasy, exploration, get a story via a unique medium, flex creativity or be a part of a community. I find myself having different reasons to want to play depending on my mood.

Once you find your reason, you can start searching for what satisfies that. I strongly suggest you avoid triple a titles and focus mainly on indie.

You mention botw resparking things, from what I hear that game really appeals to those who want to express creativity and those who like exploration. I can't help much with the creativity (not really what I like) but for exploration I can recommend hollowknight (a metroidvania that I lost myself in for days) or outerwilds (a space sim with narrative based mystery and light puzzle elements, I highly recommend you go in as blind as possible)

[–] fell@ma.fellr.net 2 points 1 year ago

@Evolone I went back to a #WoW 3.3.5a private server I used to play on when I was young and couldn't afford the monthly fee. The community over there is super laid back because everyone knows there will never be new content. I'm really enjoying my time there, despite only having a few hours per week to spare.

So, go back to your roots. Play a game you used to play a lot.

[–] TotoroTheGreat@lemmy.ml 2 points 1 year ago

For me it was Crusader Kings 2. I started playing it after CK3 came out. It was free and seemed interesting, and it took me a while to get used to such a game, but it was fun when I did get used to it all. It's even more fun with all the DLCs and there's plenty of mods to try out. I usually play a single campaign for about an hour or two a day over a week or more which helps me de-stress. It might not be the answer you're looking for, but maybe you can try some games like it where you don't need to be active all the time, or where you can just turn your mind off and kill a few hours.

[–] Fubarberry@lemmy.fmhy.ml 2 points 1 year ago

I've gotten back into gaming lately, and the two biggest things (for me) were focusing on fixed length single player games and getting a steam deck.

It seems like every new game these days is a live service game or an open world, but playing through some focused, shorter, more straightforward games has been great for recapturing a love of games. When I was younger I preferred games that gave a lot of hours of gameplay for the money invested, but these days I have plenty of money and a shortage on time, so shorter games are king.

Second, I bought a steam deck. I only use it for games, I don't share it with my kids/wife/anyone, and it has a sleep function that lets me stop instantly in the middle of a game when needed and start back from that exact moment when I have time again. One of the biggest issues that was keeping me from playing games was feeling like I didn't have enough time or didn't know how much time I had. I wouldn't want to start a game unless I knew I was going to have time for a good play session. With the steam deck it doesn't matter if I only have 5 minutes, I can jump straight back into playing where I was last and quit the second I need to. It's turned lots of small time where I was scrolling reddit/etc into time where I'm actually making progress on a game I want to play, and I've found that to be more satisfying. Small play sessions add up, if you're able to frequently hop in and play a little bit you'll quickly find yourself playing through games again.

[–] larouxn@beehaw.org 2 points 1 year ago

The latest Zelda, Tears of the Kingdom, completely reignited my gaming passion. This game is incredible if you enjoy rich world building, exploration and adventure, and puzzle solving.

[–] Kaizo107@kbin.social 2 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

I've found, at least in myself and friends, burnout comes from playing one game or one type of game, and getting bored with that specifically. You need to find something new, but I can't really give any suggestions since that's entirely subjective.

I fell off gaming for a while because my job got crazy. The Switch and specifically Breath of the Wild pulled me back in. Then I honed in on Monster Hunter World in particular for a long time and kinda burnt out because a different job got very demanding of my time, and it wasn't even a change of game, but just getting a better internet connection so I could actually participate in multiplayer that pulled me out of the rut.

Keep it varied and it'll stay interesting. A buddy of mine just tried to swear off all veeja because he declared himself an addict. He's not an addict, he just burned out after playing nothing but Elden Ring for a solid year. He took a break for about a month and now he's right back on ER with renewed passion.

[–] fische_stix@beehaw.org 2 points 1 year ago

I do two basic things when I get on a rut. I replay a favorite RPG with mods and a very specific roleplaying theme. For example I played fallout 4, console commanded myself a million caps, high charisma, and liw intelligence. I played through as a rich idiot. The other thing I do is find a game way outside my normal style and see if I can figure out the appeal that it has to other people.

[–] Daydreamy@beehaw.org 1 points 1 year ago

Perhaps emulation might get you interested. Replay the games of your childhood. Emulation also offers save States so you can immediately save or reload without silly save point mechanics, though you can stick to that if you want. This would let you basically get 10 minutes in here or there.

Get yourself an anbernic rg351or other models, or a steam deck. Anbernic's models can emulate generally up to ps1 and sometimes n64 or psp. I played through several childhood games on my 351m. Steam deck can emulate most things, namely ps2 ps3 360 and switch, but I've only tried psp thus far.

[–] LoamImprovement@beehaw.org 1 points 1 year ago

I was also in a lull for a while, I don't remember exactly why I stopped, but someone recommended hypnospace outlaw to me because it had a heavy focus on exploration and following clues, and I gotta say it was a good recommendation. Something about how earnestly and lovingly it represented the turn of the millennium internet and the transition from web 1.0 to 2.0 really spoke to me, it was like digging through a time capsule, almost.

[–] Prion@lemmy.click 1 points 1 year ago

Check out the System Shock remake if you have a gaming PC. I recommend Dying Light as well; the parkour traversal and zombie physics are unmatched.

'Return of the Obra Dinn' is another favorite of mine.

Games that hold your hand and provide waypoints to every objective (i.e. built-in walkthrough syndrome) strip the joy for me personally.

[–] Orbital@fedia.io 1 points 1 year ago

In times like those, I enjoy a 2D retro-style indie platformer or metroidvania. There are so many available, they're usually cheap yet made with heart, and they scratch the itch to recapture a simpler era.

[–] DerWilliWonka@kbin.social 1 points 1 year ago

I have went through a similiar phase a few years ago after starting university and moving to a different city. A few years later I had the opportunity to get me some nice computer for very little money which brought me back into gaming but I honestly dont remember which game I played first.

[–] DjMeas@lemm.ee 1 points 1 year ago (3 children)

During the lockdowns my son was born. What's really rekindled my love for gaming was not a particular game, but how I gamed. Getting a Steam Deck totally changed things for me and made it really convenient to access my gaming library.

The first thing I did with it was not actually play new titles but visit my backlog of older JRPG games that I had missed out on (specifically the Trails series).

Gaming at my desk where I worked wasn't the same as gaming on the couch or next to my son while he was sleeping. Sounds silly but it's made it much more enjoyable!

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[–] Zummy@beehaw.org 1 points 1 year ago

This sounds awfully similar to my life.

For me, all the added stress and changes made it impossible to enjoy any of my hobbies. It took me a while to figure out how to decompress, manage the new stressors in my life, and slowly incorporate my old hobbies back in again. They came back full force too!!

So if you're like me, just focus on making sure your house is clean, you're eating well, getting outside some, working out/walking a little if able, and you have a good mental process to attack work and commitments and get them done on a timely manner and hopefully the gaming will spontaneously come back.

Best of luck to you!

[–] OkayMate@kbin.social 1 points 1 year ago

If you’re up for a challenge and an adventure my recommendation would be Elden Ring. It gave me that exact feeling you’re describing.

[–] TabbyCat@kbin.social 1 points 1 year ago

What helped me after a long period of not gaming was getting a Steam Deck. I already had access to all my PC games, but now I could take them anywhere with me. Elden Ring is nice, but cuddled up in bed next to my dogs just before I go to sleep? It's like nothing else. And all the modding you can do to it too, oh my god. You'd have access to all the retro games you want, and more.

[–] davetansley@kbin.social 1 points 1 year ago

Honestly, don't try to force it. I've been gaming for 40 years, and I've been through more ruts than I can count. And you know what? I've always come back...

But I've never been able to force myself to come back. I've never been able to engineer a new interest, it always has to happen organically. Some new game will pique my interest out of the blue, or I'll get see a new piece of hardware I suddenly want, or I'll wake up one morning and really want to get into speed running Dark Souls. And then, just like that, I'm back in it and as enthusiastic as ever.

Interests come and go. It's probably more a product of everything else in your life than the games themselves. So just let it ride, find something else to do with your time, and you'll be back gaming before you know it.

[–] Hawne@kbin.social 1 points 1 year ago

Like many before me said, explore other interests. Then when you get back to gaming try moving out of your comfort zone. If roaming on open worlds has been your thing for years try switching to a neighboring genre such as battle royale or coop monster bashing for instance, or even try switching to a totally different genre like puzzles or fps. Challenge yourself to new habits and gameplays, and do not hesitate moving on to another genre if it's just not your thing.

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