this post was submitted on 20 Jun 2023
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[–] Frog-Brawler@kbin.social 5 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Don't pull it, let the jurors die. It'll justify my "not-guilty" defense. "I did not take any action for the previous trolley that killed people, and I did not take action on this trolley either. I touched nothing, yet people still died." I don't know what happens after that, maybe we get new jurors and I have the judge as a witness; or maybe the judge makes a decision.

[–] Thebazilly@pathfinder.social 2 points 1 year ago (1 children)

But the fact that you are on trial for murder implies that you did take action in the first trolley problem, doing nothing would be negligent manslaughter at best.

[–] Frog-Brawler@kbin.social 2 points 1 year ago

Well, it’s a trial though. My defense is “I didn’t do fucking shit!” If I don’t pull the lever, and other people watch me not pull the lever, are they not guilty of negligent manslaughter as well?

[–] mycatiskai@lemmy.one 5 points 1 year ago

The answer is to pull the lever in such a way that the tracks jam halfway between switching. This will cause the train to derail and kill both sets of people in the ensuing carnage.

You did your best to stop the trolley so it was not negligent homicide it was a failed attempt to stop a train with no casualties on either track.

[–] ImplyingImplications@lemmy.ca 5 points 1 year ago

Kill your defence lawyer. The jurors would obviously acquit. Although the prosecution would probably argue that the jury was biased.

[–] edm00se@kbin.social 3 points 1 year ago

Objection your honor, this is obviously entrapment.

[–] Hedup@lemm.ee 2 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Looks like the atorney can just step aside from the tracks, as they are not tied.

[–] fiasco@possumpat.io 1 points 1 year ago

Of course, they'd charge you $300 for having to make the effort.

[–] animelivesmatter@lemmy.world 2 points 1 year ago
[–] DoucheAsaurus@kbin.social 1 points 1 year ago

Yoooo new trolley problem just dropped. The answer, as always, is multi-track drifting.