I think this is just a cosmetic Lemmy bug. I have several Beehaw communities showing as Subscribe Pending (including this one) from my personal instance, but I'm still getting new posts and comments with sub-minute delays.
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It might be a bug. I have the same problem, just the opposite way. I'm in beehaw and the communities from other instances I subscribed to all appear as "pending"
Also seem to be having issues with subbing to lemmy.ml communities from Beehaw, and it seems like federation between the two may be busted in some fashion. Even just doing a search from lemmy.ml for a Beehaw post by URL fails, which is not normally the case.
I'm having trouble searching for any off instance communities.
I respect your decision, and the transparency behind your thought processes. Beehaw's stated values, and the culture that you have grown and maintained were what led me to choose it initially. I've enjoyed reading and interacting with the people and content here, and the extra thought and effort that goes into typical posts compared to other similar servers.
I hope you're able to find people you can trust to share the administrative burden, that improved moderation tools are not far off, and that this decision will be earnestly reconsidered in the coming days/weeks as growth from the Reddit Exodus stabilizes.
I believe the Fedverse as a whole will be a poorer place for being defederated from Beehaw.
That said, based on this decision I've decided to migrate my primary account to a regional instance. I want to continue to participate in and interact with the Beehaw community, but I'd also like the freedom to explore the wider fediverse and find diverse communities for my niche interests and hobbies. I just hope bad actors from my, and other instances don't cause further defederation and fragmentation.
Hey friend, I think this might have ended up under the wrong post.
Thanks for letting me know! Silly lemmy, I've seen this happen a few times where comments end up in the wrong place.