this post was submitted on 09 Nov 2023
508 points (98.8% liked)

Lemmy Shitpost

26821 readers
4509 users here now

Welcome to Lemmy Shitpost. Here you can shitpost to your hearts content.

Anything and everything goes. Memes, Jokes, Vents and Banter. Though we still have to comply with lemmy.world instance rules. So behave!


Rules:

1. Be Respectful


Refrain from using harmful language pertaining to a protected characteristic: e.g. race, gender, sexuality, disability or religion.

Refrain from being argumentative when responding or commenting to posts/replies. Personal attacks are not welcome here.

...


2. No Illegal Content


Content that violates the law. Any post/comment found to be in breach of common law will be removed and given to the authorities if required.

That means:

-No promoting violence/threats against any individuals

-No CSA content or Revenge Porn

-No sharing private/personal information (Doxxing)

...


3. No Spam


Posting the same post, no matter the intent is against the rules.

-If you have posted content, please refrain from re-posting said content within this community.

-Do not spam posts with intent to harass, annoy, bully, advertise, scam or harm this community.

-No posting Scams/Advertisements/Phishing Links/IP Grabbers

-No Bots, Bots will be banned from the community.

...


4. No Porn/ExplicitContent


-Do not post explicit content. Lemmy.World is not the instance for NSFW content.

-Do not post Gore or Shock Content.

...


5. No Enciting Harassment,Brigading, Doxxing or Witch Hunts


-Do not Brigade other Communities

-No calls to action against other communities/users within Lemmy or outside of Lemmy.

-No Witch Hunts against users/communities.

-No content that harasses members within or outside of the community.

...


6. NSFW should be behind NSFW tags.


-Content that is NSFW should be behind NSFW tags.

-Content that might be distressing should be kept behind NSFW tags.

...

If you see content that is a breach of the rules, please flag and report the comment and a moderator will take action where they can.


Also check out:

Partnered Communities:

1.Memes

2.Lemmy Review

3.Mildly Infuriating

4.Lemmy Be Wholesome

5.No Stupid Questions

6.You Should Know

7.Comedy Heaven

8.Credible Defense

9.Ten Forward

10.LinuxMemes (Linux themed memes)


Reach out to

All communities included on the sidebar are to be made in compliance with the instance rules. Striker

founded 1 year ago
MODERATORS
 
top 42 comments
sorted by: hot top controversial new old
[–] ComradePorkRoll@lemmy.ml 71 points 1 year ago (2 children)

I'm going to say "I hope we don't get off on the wrong foot" and then they're going to ask me to leave.

Either that or you'll be sole-mates.

[–] The_Picard_Maneuver@lemmy.world 20 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Bravo. This is a great joke that I will never have the right context to repeat...

[–] ComradePorkRoll@lemmy.ml 12 points 1 year ago

Life is cruel like that.

[–] Eegra@lemmy.world 37 points 1 year ago

If the hotness is high, I will comply.

[–] tacuache@lemmy.world 32 points 1 year ago (2 children)
[–] ubermeisters@lemmy.world 16 points 1 year ago

What's wrong babe. You look sore?

I banged my toe SUPER HARD last night

[–] Ddhuud@lemmy.world 3 points 1 year ago

It would be rude not to

[–] Automated_Footprint@sh.itjust.works 23 points 1 year ago (2 children)

People with foot fetish: 。⁠◕⁠‿⁠◕⁠。

[–] A_Union_of_Kobolds@lemmy.world 19 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Idk man I like feet and this is... unappealing

[–] Valmond@lemmy.mindoki.com 7 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Put an eye on each big toe and you have a spider!

[–] rifugee@lemmy.world 6 points 1 year ago

...brb, gonna paint my toenails.

[–] dylanTheDeveloper@lemmy.world 5 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

I'm gonna put my foot up your ass 😏

[–] magnetosphere@kbin.social 18 points 1 year ago (1 children)

I’d think the bed was ugly, but I wouldn’t say a damn thing. I’d just use those big toes for leverage.

[–] Zalzabar@lemmy.world 9 points 1 year ago (1 children)

At that point aren't you playing footsie with the bed?

[–] magnetosphere@kbin.social 4 points 1 year ago

Hey, I’m down with a threesome

[–] jumbodumbo@lemmynsfw.com 13 points 1 year ago (1 children)
[–] Colour_me_triggered@lemm.ee 3 points 1 year ago

The best kind of sex!

[–] TheHottub@lemmy.world 13 points 1 year ago

Then we are gunna do the bad thang on the good foot.

[–] Akasazh@feddit.nl 12 points 1 year ago

I would feel defeeted

[–] Daft_ish@lemmy.world 11 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

Obviously I would look past all the positive attributes my crush has and never see them again. Following my retreat I would then begin to evaluate everyone elses taste while placing my own above them. Naturally, they would all fall short aswell and I will seclude myself entirely. Then I will become frustrated that I have no strong connections with anyone because they are beneath me and no one understands my greatness.

All because I couldn't see that that bed was funky and cool in a weird way.

[–] TheBlue22@lemmy.blahaj.zone 11 points 1 year ago (1 children)

I want to leave, but the doors are already sealed. Suddenly I hear a faint voice next to my ear: "Take off your socks"

[–] shadowspirit@lemmy.world 14 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

... it's Shia LeBeouf!!

[–] Ryan213@lemmy.world 10 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

Why would have you a crush on Quagmire?!

[–] danc4498@lemmy.world 7 points 1 year ago

It’s a little bothersome that be toes don’t touch the ground

[–] Ghostalmedia@lemmy.world 7 points 1 year ago

First I sit at the foot of the foot bed.

[–] Imgonnatrythis@sh.itjust.works 7 points 1 year ago (1 children)

I'd get real anxious about not having had time to tidy up my toenails.

This guy knows what's up.

[–] vivadanang@lemm.ee 5 points 1 year ago

apologize. not everyone's kinks are universal and feet aren't my thing, and my feet lol... sometimes they're well groomed but on average tend toward goblin toes.

[–] CheeryLBottom@lemmy.world 5 points 1 year ago

If they're a podiatrist, it might be ok

[–] SVcross@lemmy.world 4 points 1 year ago

I would just cum. We would all do it, don't lie.

[–] ObviouslyNotBanana@lemmy.world 4 points 1 year ago (2 children)

I like the first pic where it's in an empty office space.

It's kind of sinister there

[–] AnUnusualRelic@lemmy.world 3 points 1 year ago

"For sale, office foot bed, lightly used"

[–] aceshigh@lemmy.world 4 points 1 year ago

If I was red foreman I’d ask if they ever shoved a foot up their ass.

[–] ElBarto@sh.itjust.works 4 points 1 year ago

I'm frog leaping the big toes for a grand entrance.

[–] doctorcrimson@lemmy.today 3 points 1 year ago (2 children)

I guess I'm getting a footjob, idk

Maybe discuss that it's anatomically questionable, the testosterone morphism of the toe lengths aside it also has all toes curled except for the big toe: despite having very capable feet myself I cannot do that and I'm not sure other people can.

[–] matter@lemmy.world 6 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Funny, I can easily do that and assumed everyone could

[–] vivadanang@lemm.ee 2 points 1 year ago

same. ugly feet but prehensile toes are handy for picking shit up.

I'm not sure other people can.

Can confirm that some people can, also allows for a way stronger pinch than with fingers.

[–] bhamlin@lemmy.world 2 points 1 year ago

In a word, "sploosh"

[–] ExLisper@linux.community 1 points 1 year ago