Atta girl! Show them what's a good time!
this post was submitted on 19 Oct 2023
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Transfem
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I'm not understanding this at all. What kind of bottom surgery did you have? You said your needs have increased, and some act or other is being done using "the correct parts." This is very vague - you say before surgery you were "men to sex." What does that mean? Can you be more specific?
i'm no girl, but i would guess "men" is a misspelling of "meh", due to to proximity of the N and H keys on a QWERTY keyboard
Yeah it looks like was an auto-correct error. I hate those auto-correct functions, they should be called "auto-incorrect." I make myself proofread everything now, just in case that happens.
This is the TransFem community. Bottom surgery refers to surgery on the genitalia, most commonly vaginoplasty. "Having the correct parts", in this context, means no longer having genitalia that cause you dysphoria. She is able to have sex without feeling self repulsed or ashamed, and therefore has become much more interested in sex and has a higher libido.
But my question is - why would someone ever feel "repulsed or ashamed" to have same sex attraction in the first place? I mean, I'm gay and I love that about me - it's been a huge blessing. I feel my masculinity is super-charged by my gayness. And even if you transition from male to female, doesn't that mean you still want men for sex partners (so how could man-sex be disgusting or repulsive, unless someone thinks men are so vile and monstrous, in which case, doing something to transition to a female makes no sense to me at all). Just asking - I'm not trying to insult anyone, I'm all for anyone being whatever they choose - i'm just curious.
You are conflating gender identity with sexual orientation. A woman attracted to a man is heterosexual, trans or not. But in either case this post has absolutely nothing to do with sexual orientation.
I'll speak personally for a moment. Note this is my experience and not universal by any means. Having a penis absolutely disgusted me. It is not that way for all trans women, but for me it was revolting. I hated seeing it, I hated interacting with it, and I couldn't stand anyone else to interact with it either. It made me feel gross, like I had some kind of growth on my body that was entirely foreign to me. I was deeply ashamed of having one, and several times in my own childhood, long before I knew what sex was at all, I had recurring strong feelings about removing it.
My first sexual experiences made me sick. Simply sitting there and being able to feel it, knowing it was there, made me feel sick. It was wrong, innately wrong that was not how my body should be. For years and years while my friends and peers were maturing and experiencing sexuality and romance I was incapable of enjoying those things. I had sex, and I dated both straight women and gay men. I never once felt like my partners truly understood me, and all the time felt that I was lying to them and that they really didn't know who they were dating. Being seen and treated as man, even in queen context, made me severely depressed. And when it came to sex I was a passive participant in most of it. I felt no enjoyment with gay men or straight women, and would lie a lot about whether I was actually into what was happening. Feelings of shame and guilt would consume me for days after. Feelings of disgust at my own body, revulsion at the things people did to my body, and dread at the way my partners saw me.
This has entirely changed since I've had bottom surgery. I transitioned over 8 years ago but only recently have been able to get vaginoplasty and it has totally revitalized nearly every aspect of my life. My body feels like my own, and my partner has never known me as a anything other than the woman I am. They recognize me, they treat me very well and validate me and my feelings. Sex never makes me feel ashamed, having sex is enjoyable now. Just existing at all is free from the constant dread of knowing my penis was there that it existed at all. I feel whole in a way I never have before.
I transitioned for me. Not for anyone else. I got vaginoplasty for me. I didn't do it to fuck men, or to fuck women. I didn't do it for purely sexual reasons. I did it because having a vagina has made me infinitely happier. Because I deserve to live in a body that I love, a body that makes me feel beautiful and happy not repulsed and ashamed. I transitioned because this is me, this is who I am. I'm not a man and I never was. And now I will never have to pretend to be ever again.
^ this person gets it
I think you misunderstood - it's not about who OP is having sex with, it's about sex now (or, at least soon, hopefully) being possible for OP without having to use sexy bits that feel like they're the wrong ones.
Sorry my phone corrected meh to men. I am MTF and had bottom surgery about a month ago. I am still 2 months away from actually having being able to have sex. But I have noticed my sex drive has increase and I actually think about it now where as before surgery I really didn't care for sex or think much of it.
I'm wondering if this will happen to me. Had surgery on October 20th and my drive has crashed while being on hrt somewhat.
I had my surgery September 21st. So sadly I am actually unable to preform at the moment. But do I want. I wasn't expecting this. Funny I went way longer before surgery without sex so its not like I'm just frustrated because I can't.
Dilating is hard enough right now that I think it kills any desire for me.
Oh the first few weeks was nothing but pain and pressure. But it gets better.
Yeah, I'm on the purple one now, orange and yellow were easy and getting apprehensive about keeping up with it. Glad it gets easier.
Interesting our colors are different purple was the first one for me and orange is the last.
This is what they gave me, just without the blue one. https://www.soulsource.com/collections/silicone-vaginal-dilators/products/silicone-large-set
Ahh ok, they gave me two of those but said not to use them till my follow up on the 31st.
Interesting.
Can I just say that it's absolutely fascinating what modern medicine can do. Like, I never thought much about it, but I recently looked up vaginoplasty – for reasons, of course – And wow, I didn't expect it to be this... elaborate?
Idk what the right word would be. So much attention to detail on how each part can get repurposed, so to speak.
Oh trust me I am at the point where the swelling has gone down and the sutures are all most gone and its amazing how normal it looks. In a year you wouldn't even know. I will say pictures on line are usually of people early on and is a little miss leading of how everything will look in the end.
pictures on line are usually of people early on and is a little miss leading of how everything will look in the end.
I spent so much time looking for more normal pictures of a post-op vagina. Someone in a discord I'm in shared theirs and it had me ecstatic. I doubt any of this was necessary, if I have the dysphoria I'm probably gonna do it anyways right? 🤷♀️ Thanks for saying this. I can't wait, I'm so excited.
If I understand it correctly, it's also positioned where even the fun button is roughly where a cis woman would have hers. Like, again... that's some serious attention to detail I believe is incredibly appreciated by everyone who undergoes this surgery, isn't it?
Well if they didn't I wouldn't have gotten then surgery.
I guess I was under the impression that there wasn't that much thought put into it, for whatever reason. But I'm both relieved and excited to learn otherwise.
Well if you have questions feel free to ask.
That's really kind of you. There's one thing, actually, I've read that you have to have proper hair removal beforehand, at least on the skin they intend to draft?
Does make sense, I guess
It is highly recommended you get hair removal. The surgeon you get with will have a recommendation for the exact location that needs hair removed from. That being said the Crane Center I went though will tell you if there is reasons you can't they can still preform the surgery, you will just have more chance of infection and well hair inside.
Thank you, I really appreciate it
The biological formula was there all along. The parts of a vagina have direct analogs in the parts of a penis. The surgery itself is nothing short of a medical marvel. Having had it myself, there is an undeniable sense of wonder about the entire thing. It's a surgery that has been talked about and wanted since at least the time of Elgabalus, who famously wanted to have it done. The fact that we can actually do it now and that it looks and functions so similarly, is absolutely amazing.
Wow! Giwtwm. Have had less sex drive than my peers my whole life. Hoping transition will get me mentally to where you are now (horny) 😏
Well I'm sorry you're that small minded and unable to accept any inquiries or opinions that don't completely align with your own. I hope you somehow gain the ability to celebrate acceptance of others and their opinions on your long journey in life.
Ummm what?
Sorry SamanthaLie, that comment above wasn't meant for you - it was directed toward LadyAutumn who feels that my asking questions of members here is somehow an attempt to hurt or ridicule them, when nothing could be further from the truth. All I'm trying to do is learn more about trans people - why is that a crime, and why is that not something people are OK with. My view is, if you want support, you need to be open to letting people learn about who you are.
This isn't a space for you. This is a space for transfeminine people. Google exists, and there are plenty of other online forums for you to peruse for detailed explanations on what trans people are. This space is not that. End of story.
Well I'm sorry you're that small minded and unable to accept any inquiries or opinions that don't completely align with your own. I hope you somehow gain the ability to celebrate acceptance of others and their opinions on your long journey in life.