this post was submitted on 09 Oct 2023
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Lemmy Shitpost

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[–] Nepenthe@kbin.social 212 points 1 year ago (3 children)

But the boxes were taken to the dumpster, yes? With time saved, even? Someone in a managerial position would rather hire, train, and pay a devoted garbage person instead of three adorably unpaid raccoons?

[–] MissJinx@lemmy.world 56 points 1 year ago (1 children)
[–] DragonTypeWyvern@literature.cafe 62 points 1 year ago (2 children)

Until the raccoons unionize and demand healthcare coverage instead of just table scraps.

[–] SwallowsDick@lemmy.world 24 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Train another raccoon to bust unions

[–] DragonTypeWyvern@literature.cafe 16 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Impossible, raccoon class consciousness is too strong.

[–] LemmysMum@lemmy.world 9 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Raccoons aren't a protected class and I will continue to exploit their lack of rights u til such time as they garner enough support to be represented in the government and change the laws.

[–] DragonTypeWyvern@literature.cafe 7 points 1 year ago (5 children)

AHAB - raccoons, definitely

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[–] blackluster117@possumpat.io 13 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (2 children)

20XX: The Raccoon Rebellions reach their peak. Multiple systems are in turmoil as the conflict rages. New fronts emerge everyday as guerilla factions splinter. Bodies litter the streets like piles of... trash. There is no end in sight.

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Darcy the human wants healthcare. Trained trash pandas want apples. Why are we even discussing this?

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[–] TimewornTraveler@lemm.ee 182 points 1 year ago (4 children)

is this a Lemmy post of an Instagram post of a Reddit post?

[–] Facelikeapotato@lemmy.ml 85 points 1 year ago (2 children)
[–] EmoDuck@sh.itjust.works 48 points 1 year ago (3 children)

The internet is terribly inbread and I love it

[–] bassomitron@lemmy.world 34 points 1 year ago (1 children)
[–] NielsBohron@lemmy.world 6 points 1 year ago (1 children)

This proofs that everything is just a repost of a repost of a repost.

[–] captain_aggravated@sh.itjust.works 6 points 1 year ago (5 children)

It's been that way basically forever. I'm old enough to remember YTMNDs showing up on Ebaumsworld.

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[–] BigDanishGuy@sh.itjust.works 12 points 1 year ago (1 children)

what are you doing step site?

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[–] Klear@sh.itjust.works 6 points 1 year ago

Threads too?!

[–] Agent641@lemmy.world 31 points 1 year ago

We have to go deeper. Im posting this to 4chan.

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[–] Cylusthevirus@kbin.social 141 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Not Trash Pandas. Waste Management Pandas.

[–] NielsBohron@lemmy.world 18 points 1 year ago

Waste Management Engineers= Waste Management Pandas

~~Waste Management~~ (Engineers) / ~~Waste Management~~ = ~~Waste Management~~ (Pandas) / ~~Waste Management~~

Engineers = Pandas

Checks out.

[–] creditCrazy@lemmy.world 118 points 1 year ago (1 children)

If someone can successfully train racoons to do their job I'd probably give them a raise and some deodorant

[–] HiddenLayer5@lemmy.ml 43 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (1 children)

Under capitalism they would be fired and the raccoons made to replace them for no pay.

No joke there are tons of stories of people writing programs to automate their job, management finding out, and basically getting fired while the company appropriates their automation code, since from their profit chasing perspective why should they pay someone if they can just take the code they wrote which will do the same thing for free?

[–] TheRealKuni@lemmy.world 22 points 1 year ago (3 children)

Which is why you always implement a dead man's switch that you can turn off if you leave the job amicably. And never leave your source code behind if you can avoid it.

[–] DokPsy@infosec.pub 15 points 1 year ago

The dead man switch at one of my last places was the companies incompetence and lack of forethought.

When I left, I told them that the files for their system that I designed, built, and maintained was on the laptop I was returning to them.

They wiped it.

They also had zero clue how to use the programs I had nor any other aspect of that system so they really shot themselves in the foot then shot their other one to test of the first one hurt

[–] HiddenLayer5@lemmy.ml 10 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (1 children)

Then they'll get their lawyers involved to fuck you over. Since you probably coded it on company time with company equipment, they own everything and can sue you if you put booby traps in it. Hell there have been contracts in tech that say that everything you code while employed, regardless of whether it's related to the business or not, they can claim, whether that extent is enforcible is another question but just the mere fact that plenty of companies are brazen enough to try that shit speaks for how much they expect to get away with, and they're probably right.

Individuals rarely win against businesses as a design feature of capitalist society.

[–] TheRealKuni@lemmy.world 11 points 1 year ago

Well then at the very least do what I did: put in the code an Easter Egg that wishes you a happy birthday on your birthday in the copyright blurb at the bottom of the intranet page.

[–] zalgotext@sh.itjust.works 9 points 1 year ago (2 children)

Lol you think source code you write at work is yours to take with you?

[–] Stuka@lemmy.ml 12 points 1 year ago (4 children)

If you aren't in a dev job it would be incredibly easy to prevent the source code from falling into company hands.

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[–] gullible@kbin.social 87 points 1 year ago

The entire premise is fake, but that stupid fake manager is still driving up my blood pressure.

[–] HawlSera@lemm.ee 83 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Look if you can get Raccoons to do your work for you, it should be an instant promotion to manager.

[–] techognito@lemmy.world 29 points 1 year ago (2 children)

acivement unlocked: Manager of Racoons

[–] notatoad@lemmy.world 8 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Unfortunately, the promotion to raccoon manager does not come with a salary bump.

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[–] Bahnd@lemmy.world 43 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Is noone going to comment on how someone trained a bunch of animals to help with cleaning? They were more than an employee, they were a Disney Princess!

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[–] Honytawk@lemmy.zip 37 points 1 year ago (1 children)

How difficult would it be to teach raccoons to manage IT infrastructure?

Asking for a friend.

[–] AngryCommieKender@lemmy.world 10 points 1 year ago

They keep trying to wash the server

[–] Kolanaki@yiffit.net 30 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Corporate only doesn't want the raccoons trained because then they might have to pay them.

[–] uis@lemmy.world 12 points 1 year ago (1 children)

It can be worse - they might start raccoon union

[–] Natanael 21 points 1 year ago
[–] gamermanh@lemmy.dbzer0.com 26 points 1 year ago

Sounds like staff is gonna train the racoons

You get work done for you, they get trash. Win/win

[–] mechoman444@lemmy.world 26 points 1 year ago (1 children)

I don't see an issue here. 🤷

[–] Facelikeapotato@lemmy.ml 15 points 1 year ago

Just looks like working smarter, not harder to me.

[–] Korne127@lemmy.world 26 points 1 year ago (1 children)

If the job is done, where is the problem?

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[–] Sanctus@lemmy.world 22 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (1 children)

Necessity breeds innovation.

[–] FlyingSquid@lemmy.world 14 points 1 year ago

We had a raccoon living in our attic. I would have liked to train it to take the trash to the curb, but instead it just peed on the floor until a stain came through to the other side.

[–] bappity@lemmy.world 13 points 1 year ago

I hope he was paying those raccoons a fair wage! outsourced work is often done in unethical ways!

[–] TTimo@lemm.ee 9 points 1 year ago

In my old condo you didn't really put the trash bag in the dumpster. The raccoons were waiting on the dumpster and you'd hand the bag to them basically.

[–] doctorn@r.nf 7 points 1 year ago
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