I have a colleague who I suspect might be slightly autistic. There have been a few situations where looks have been exchanged but he didn't seem to notice, like for example when he asked our department manager for some more details in our yearly result when the manager was stressed. So the manager gives him a super quick answer that we just don't have that data. He kept asking why and brought up ideas to gather it and our manager made it very apparent that he doesn't have time but didn't say it until 2 minutes into the conversation. Everyone in the room noticed, except for that one person asking questions.

He also delivers jokes in a super dry manner that makes the words hit harder instead of saying it in a funny way.

So should I tell him? It could be a very awkward conversation if I'm wrong.

[–] Haui@discuss.tchncs.de 3 points 1 year ago

Oh wow. Yes, that would be me as well. I‘m that guy in every place I work.

Maybe talk to the person and speak about an interesting video from the neurodivergent doctor or someone else who is really good at all things autism.

Like „I recently found out“ maybe about yourself or a(n imaginary) friend. So that you don’t have to hit them with „you‘re shit at socials“ but give them strong resources with a quite hefty hint. I need stuff being said pretty directly so if your colleague doesn’t take subtle hints, make it not so subtle instead. :)

Good luck! (Btw. ADHD and trauma have strong overlaps with autism so you‘d have a hard time anyway to tell them apart if you‘re not well informed already)

[–] Death2lois@lemmy.one 1 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Ooo, that is my next one I wondered was even possible at my age. Or what it would mean other than some validation and explanations. I have already come up with so many coping strategies and routines at this point.

[–] Haui@discuss.tchncs.de 2 points 1 year ago

I actually know a lot of autistic people what were diagnosed at 50+. So don't worry. It is possible.

I can't say what it will mean for you but I can tell you what it meant for me in hindsight: I am still reframing my life before the diagnosis. So I go through all incidents again and view them with the diagnosis in mind. That changed my picture about myself maybe not 180 degrees but definitely 90 :) It also led to me coming up with healthier strategies to cope and to go through life. I have better friends now, sleep better and have a better outlook on life.

I can relate: The routines and comping strategies were how I got here. I had some that were good but a lot were less than stellar. Since I know, I have revised them to make sure I don't hurt myself every day of the week. I don't burn out as easily since I know what actually happens.

I hope this helps you. Wish you all the luck. :)

[–] HowShouldIKnow@lemm.ee 5 points 1 year ago (1 children)

41 and I need to figure out how to find a doctor. But it was the memes that helped me figure myself out.

[–] Death2lois@lemmy.one 2 points 1 year ago

I got lucky, my SO sees someone for bi-polar who's specialty is adult adhd. Once it was suggested I seriously go see someone for an evaluation that step was easier, because of that. I wish you lots of luck in your search ahead. I had worried about that being a bigger hurdle than just waiting for an opening.

[–] Mohkia@lemmy.world 8 points 1 year ago (1 children)

At 22 you still have most of your life to live. Be glad you found out now and not at 44. Diagnosed this summer and it's good to know, but at the same time all those years of flailing kind of make me sad. All I can do though is move on from here and I hope you can do the same.

[–] Kolanaki@yiffit.net 5 points 1 year ago

I found out at 36. I feel like half my life's been set to hard mode and I only just now found the difficulty slider.

[–] xkforce@lemmy.world 6 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

I was diagnosed at 32. And tbh it made it easier to forgive myself for all the things that are very clearly signs of ADHD. eg. forgetting peoples' names, only absorbing maybe half of what I was verbally told, procrastination, fidgeting, impulsivity etc. For all those years I was treated badly by other people because of it and now I know I wasn't a bad person like people intentionally or unintentionally lead me to believe. I did the best that I could with what I had.

[–] can@sh.itjust.works 5 points 1 year ago

I know what you're going through OP. It sucks but you're relatively young. Hopefully you can start forgiving yourself.

[–] chuckleslord@lemmy.world 5 points 1 year ago

My parents floated that I might have ADHD when I was 10... didn't get diagnosed until I was 26.

[–] Donk240978@lemmy.dbzer0.com 3 points 1 year ago

In what way are you stupid? You don't know what you don't know. When I was a young bloke, I was just "That weird kid..." ADHD was only just starting to be known and ASD was basically unheard of. You were either "normal" or "not normal".

People figured we were broken, but not in which way...

The hard part is when you know you are "broken" and there's nothing you can do about it...

As I say to my co-workers...

"You think you're frustrated with me? I have to live with this cunt in here!"

Don't worry about it. Have fun with it and keep the cunts guessing...

[–] recapitated@lemmy.world 1 points 1 year ago

You were built to thrive in a way that your environment was not designed for. It really is understandable to not know why. Now you get to thrive.