this post was submitted on 31 Oct 2024
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Mildly Infuriating

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For years now, I've been watching most of the trick-or-treaters go to the house on one side of me, take one look at my house and walk right past it, and then go to the house on the other side.

I had no clue why. Maybe they were scared of my house or thought I'd give cheap candy (my house is a bit of a fixer-upper)? I completed my "curb appeal" projects; didn't help.

Maybe they thought nobody was home? I not only have the porch light on, but also have the living room TV on, clearly visible through the (open!) front window, and it makes no difference.

Maybe they think I'm not participating (despite the clear signal of the porch light and jack-o'-lantern)? I put up a bunch of Halloween decorations this year, and it still didn't help!


Well, I finally found out the reason, after hearing one kid scouting ahead yelling to tell his friends to skip my house: "there's no bowl on the porch!"

...You've got to be fucking kidding me.

Yep, unlike my neighbors, who had apparently just left unattended bowls of candy on their porches, I was actually sitting there inside the house, with the bowl of candy, waiting for kids to knock or ring the doorbell before I opened the door and handed it out. You know, like how trick-or-treating is supposed to work.

This is ridiculous. Kids these days are skipping viable houses with candy because they can't be bothered to actually knock on the damn door and say "trick or treat" to the person who answers? Residents are expected to be too lazy to answer the door, and just put out the candy without even receiving the traditional threat first? With no actual interaction with the neighbors for the kids to show off their costumes, what's even the point‽

I finally stuck a sign on the door saying "yes, you have to knock or ring for candy!" and that helped, but even then, some kids are still skipping my house because they apparently can't be bothered to read the sign.

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[–] pixiiiiv@lemm.ee 1 points 14 hours ago

even trick or treating isnt the same anymore with these gen alphas

[–] aubeynarf@lemmynsfw.com 13 points 2 days ago

The kids on my street do come and knock, but they don’t know what to do then. The just stand there waiting - I’m like “what do you say???”, and they go “uhh, thank you???”

C’mon kids!

[–] JohnOliver@feddit.dk 25 points 2 days ago (2 children)

Is it only me who is surprised that they have a scout to optimise the process?

Candy is serious business

[–] grue@lemmy.world 3 points 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago)

Sorry, I didn't mean to imply it was an organized operation. I think it was more just one kid who was faster/more eager than his buddies. Or maybe just standing next to them but loud, for all I know!

[–] LovableSidekick@lemmy.world 32 points 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago) (1 children)

LOL put a ginormous bowl on your porch with a sign in it that says RING BELL FOR CANDY

Candy inside. Ring at your own risk. Muah ha. Ha. Ha.

I live at the end of a cul de sac with a bunch of killjoys who never give out candy, so kids wouldn't visit my house.

So I take my bucket of candy and go walking around and deliver it to the kids. Plus this means everybody sees my costume.

[–] DrownedRats@lemmy.world 120 points 3 days ago (2 children)

Leave a bowl out with a sign that says "if the bowl is empty, please knock." You don't even have to fill the bowl with anything.

[–] driving_crooner@lemmy.eco.br 49 points 3 days ago (1 children)

Classic "bait and switch" tactic. Guess OP isn't an used car's seller.

[–] ristoril_zip@lemmy.zip 23 points 3 days ago

hey look buddy I've got some amazing advice for OP over here but I had another OP call me 10 minutes ago asking for the exact same advice so I'm gonna need you to make a decision right away.

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[–] guacupado@lemmy.world 37 points 2 days ago (1 children)

I think you're looking at it wrong. It's likely not that kids are too lazy to knock but that your neighbors are too lazy to answer the door. The kids see everyone on the street leaving bowls out and assume that if someone on the street doesn't have a bowl, then they're not doing Halloween like everyone else is.

[–] Phil_in_here@lemmy.ca 23 points 2 days ago (1 children)

That's not it at all. Literally, my children told me, "I don't want to go up, I just want to go to the houses with bowls". But it's not a lazy thing, it's a social anxiety thing. We don't chat with strangers, we don't make small talk with people we don't know, we don't ask people things we can find out without asking people things. We're socially awkward parents and we have socially awkward children.

Millennials, the ones who would much rather text than call on the phone their dearest friends and closest relatives, are 35-40 years old. They're the ones with halloweening children and those kids are just ask averse to face to face interactions with neighborhood residents as we are.

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[–] toynbee@lemmy.world 64 points 3 days ago (1 children)

The last time I left a bowl on my porch, literally the first group that came took all the candy and threw the bowl into my lawn. It disincentivized from doing so again.

[–] explodicle@sh.itjust.works 30 points 3 days ago (1 children)

I did this and they stole the bowl too.

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[–] Kolanaki@yiffit.net 104 points 3 days ago* (last edited 3 days ago) (1 children)

They go for the unattended bowls so they can just take it all for themselves. I dressed up as a decoration scarecrow one or two years after I was too old to trick or treat myself and held a bowl of candy in my lap out on the porch. Every kid that attempted to take the entire bowl, got a scare as I stood up and shouted scary things like "TAKE THE BOWL, I TAKE YOUR SOUL!"

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[–] SwordandArt@lemmy.world 46 points 3 days ago (11 children)

It’s a holdover from Covid. It isn’t some glaring indictment of “kids these days”. The social contract changed with Covid and will take time to go back or maybe never does.

[–] rekabis@lemmy.ca 9 points 3 days ago* (last edited 3 days ago)

I have a tube-based distribution system from the second-floor window that I started using during COVID to keep my distance from those plague incubators that came calling, and just never stopped using it.

I live in a moderately cold climate, and Halloween evening nearly always drops to around -5℃ to 5℃. So it’s much nicer to just sit in a cushy armchair by the window with a warm blanket over my legs and drop candy through the tube. A surprising amount of adults, teens, and tweens are tickled pink by that system, although a lot of little kids need a surprising amount of direction to get their candy.

And yes, I always drop either two pieces or - for those in dark hoods and carrying scythes - full-sized snickers.

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[–] superkret@feddit.org 160 points 3 days ago* (last edited 3 days ago) (7 children)

My guess is, the kids aren't supposed to knock and interact with strangers anymore cause their parents are scared.
Some places, trick or treating has been replaced with a group of parents driving to a parking lot and their kids going from truck to truck.

[–] Catoblepas@lemmy.blahaj.zone 86 points 3 days ago (3 children)

The latter has been popular in rural areas too for years, because the alternative is driving your kids from house to house. I would have made it to like 5 houses a year max if I’d tried to walk as a kid (and probably got run over, lol).

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[–] ThePowerOfGeek@lemmy.world 27 points 3 days ago

I just got back from taking one of my kids trick or treating with his friends. It was great. My wife and I got to walk and chat with the other parents while all of our kids knocked on doors and shouted "trick or treat!". Lots of friendly, generous, nice people. And lots of shouted reminders from us for the kids to not walk on people's front lawns, to say thank you, to be careful crossing the quiet roads. There were so many other kids out too. It was pretty crazy, but in a good way. About half of the houses were giving out candy in some way or other, with only about a quarter having an un-monitored bowl.

Then on the way home we drove past a church that was having a 'trunk or treat' in their parking lot. That just looked sad. There was no excitement for going up to the really cool houses that were decked out in amazing props and decorations. There was no need to hone analytical skills to determine which houses were giving out candy and which ones probably weren't. Just going very short distances from one car to the next getting candy. My kid asked why they do that. I said it's probably because they are a closed community who don't really want to associate with 'outsiders'. Give me the conventional experience over that all day every day!

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[–] t3h_fool@lemmy.world 11 points 2 days ago

It is because all you had was those weird black and orange taffies. No-one can eat those.

[–] stringere@sh.itjust.works 17 points 2 days ago (1 children)

In our neighborhood a lot of families set up a fire pit in the driveway and hang out passing out candy. It's something we hadn't seen before moving into our neighborhood and we love it.

[–] meliaesc@lemmy.world 8 points 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago) (1 children)

Yep! One house in our neighborhood always has their grill going in the driveway, giving out hotdogs, another has cider and mini bottles. Firepits and lounge chairs, it's so nice.

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[–] EatATaco@lemm.ee 73 points 3 days ago (7 children)

At my house we get north of 200 kids every year it's decent outside. Sometimes over 250. We're talking about a kid every minute for the 3.5 hours we do it.

I just set up a table outside, invite a few friends over, drink some beers and give kids candy as they show up. Fuck having to answer the door every minute for 3.5 hours.

My older neighbors complained that the kids don't have to come up to the front door and are skipping their house because I sit outside. I felt a little guilty, but honestly sitting outside (it it's cold I get a fire pit going, not tonight tho) is much nicer. One older couple followed my lead this year and agreed. So I'm over it now. Welcome to the new world.

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[–] classic@fedia.io 82 points 3 days ago (11 children)

Give out the best candy possible to the few who come by. The rumor of the amazing trove will spread. But then "run out" early so that some of them will miss out and learn the lesson for next year

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[–] RBWells@lemmy.world 30 points 3 days ago

I sit on the porch with the bowl, it's nice to see them walking around. It's easier for both parties, and I can dress up too.

I think it's because fewer houses are doing it, mostly. But I don't understand skipping very decorated houses, and honestly wouldn't leave out a bowl of candy here.

The sitting on the porch thing is traditional here now (my mom sat inside but I'm over 50 now and since being old enough to be on the treating side have always sat out with the candy and that's more usual as far as I can tell) Though my kids always did go up and try if a light was on outside.

Maybe they are also a little more sensible too, lol - a princess last night looked in the bowl and said, nah there's nothing I like, happy Halloween. My kids would have taken some anyway and traded it around, but it is always too much by the time they are done.

Overall I agree, they should yell TRICK OR TREAT but am glad nobody is, like egging your house if you don't have a treat for them.

Put a bowl out but in the bowl just have a sign that says "please knock"

[–] AnAverageSnoot@lemmy.ca 20 points 3 days ago

Do you live in a sketchy area? That hasn't been my experience at all. We had 90 kids in total knock on our door yesterday for trick or treat!

[–] Rice_Daddy@lemmy.world 7 points 2 days ago

When people have moved to leaving candy out, perhaps kids thought that not having them out means you're not participating. Also, when many houses have left them out, for efficiency, it makes sense to only go to those houses.

I'm glad to hear that the sign helped. Shows that some kids aren't just about getting as much candy as possible but also having a bit of fun.

[–] aniki@lemmy.zip 28 points 3 days ago (5 children)

I didn't get a single knock last night.

Spooky decorations, LED candles, WLED providing backup lighting, 12 XL Hershey bars with frozen Snickers as backup.

Not. One. Knock.

Fuck em -- we'll be eating smores all winter. 🤷

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[–] luciferofastora@lemmy.zip 39 points 3 days ago

Ah yes, let's skip the social part and get right to the obligatory consumption.

I don't really care for Halloween, but I don't actively hate it either. I like seeing kids and parents in cute costumes walking around. To me, the whole point has always been one of social activity, of walking around the neighbourhood and showing off your cool costume and such. You know, the whole "reinforcing horizontal social ties" deal we've done since forever.

[–] hungryphrog@lemmy.blahaj.zone 22 points 3 days ago

That's so weird. When I used to trick-or-treat (not murican so it was different ofc, and also we went to apartment doors instead of houses) I always assumed that if someone had a candy bowl it was just because they weren't home that night, and I think I preferred it when they answered the door and gave us the candy themselves. It was nice to show off my costume and perhaps even get a compliment from an adult pretending to be scared.

[–] floofloof@lemmy.ca 55 points 3 days ago* (last edited 3 days ago) (7 children)

I put a bowl out once. The first kid that came emptied the whole lot into his bag and I had nothing left. So now I keep it inside and if they don't knock it's their loss and I get treats.

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[–] scarabic@lemmy.world 37 points 3 days ago (4 children)

That’s sad. We only leave the bowl out during the time we are out trick or treating ourselves. All trick or treating is under fire, it seems. Have you heard of trunk-or-treat? Gah. And even people who live in safe areas will like their kids into a car and go drive to some affluent neighborhood where the decorations are fancier and full size bars are being given out. I greatly value the experience of knocking on my neighbors’ doors and it’s sad to see people discount this community building experience.

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[–] Hikermick@lemmy.world 11 points 3 days ago

Maybe meet them half way and sit on the porch and hand out candy? I used to go to my parent's house to help them hand out candy and I noticed it took a bit of effort for the smaller kids climb the stairs. There's no railing and knowing how dangerously slick their steps got if they were damp, i started sitting at the bottom to hand out candy.

It seems trick or treating isn't as popular with the kids as it used to be. Ironically, it seems more popular than ever with adults. Some houses I've seen look like they must rent a storage unit to keep all the decorations they put up. We used to fill a set of dad's old clothes with leaves, splap a plastic punkin on top for a head and call it a day

[–] Jimmycakes@lemmy.world 9 points 2 days ago

You gotta be outside chilling shooting the shit with neighbors at the end of your driveway these days. My door would fall off the hinges if I had to open it for every kid

[–] victorz@lemmy.world 1 points 1 day ago

lmao that Skinner reference though 😆👌

[–] Katzastrophe@feddit.org 4 points 2 days ago

I live in an apartment building on the ground floor, I always tape a sign to my decorated window to inform people where to ring for trick or treating. It works quite well for me, and groups know immediately who is willing to give out candy

[–] jeena@piefed.jeena.net 47 points 3 days ago (1 children)

That's just how economy works. Anyway I always hated to interact with strangers and still do.

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[–] ryven@lemmy.dbzer0.com 30 points 3 days ago (2 children)

The last time I was handing out candy at my old neighborhood, kids would ring the doorbell but then they'd just stand there and stare at me until I handed them candy. You're supposed to say "trick or treat"!

Now I live in an apartment, so I don't get trick-or-treaters. (I have candy just in case, but nobody ever knocks.) My roommate went to hang out with his sister and hand out candy at her place, and apparently their neighborhood has decreed that trick-or-treating ends at 7 sharp now so that nobody is out after dark? I don't get it. I thought staying out late (and, for teens, potentially unsupervised) was part of the fun!

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[–] doingthestuff@lemy.lol 16 points 3 days ago

Everyone in my area stays outside, no matter the weather. No kids knock on any doors. Also, no one leaves out a bowl, that shit would be gone in minutes. But people are outside with portable fire rings, music, some have cocktails for the adults. It's the only night of the year all of the neighbors are outside and socializing. Honestly it's great.

[–] bpt11@sh.itjust.works 24 points 3 days ago

Me and some friends of mine went out “reverse trick or treating” tonight, we carried around a door knocking at houses and giving them candy, and doing the same for any trick or treaters, that kind of thing. We were really disappointed by how few people we saw, and a majority of the houses in the area just had bowls. It made us feel quite sad actually.

I think we were just in an older neighborhood, full of mostly empty nesters with a few younger couples. I hope anyways. There’s a part of me that’s worried that Halloween is like a dying holiday I guess, but maybe that’s just because I’ve gotten older and have a different perspective. Who knows.

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