this post was submitted on 22 Oct 2024
295 points (98.4% liked)

The Onion

4559 readers
1264 users here now

The Onion

A place to share and discuss stories from The Onion, Clickhole, and other satire.

Great Satire Writing:

founded 2 years ago
MODERATORS
top 11 comments
sorted by: hot top controversial new old
[–] Lost_My_Mind@lemmy.world 54 points 1 month ago (2 children)

............so ready to eat the onion here. It TOTALLY sounds like what he'd say.

[–] joelfromaus@aussie.zone 5 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Yep, this is the same guy who stated he didn’t even know how to say KAAMala, or is it Karmala? No body knows! No body knows…

[–] Lost_My_Mind@lemmy.world 3 points 1 month ago

Look, I don't know that she's black. For the longest time she was Indian. Now she decides to be black. Nobody asked me. Nobody told me. That's her decision. That's up to her.

I may not have the quote word for word. I'm not bothering to look it up. But this is the spirit of something he actually said about a month ago. It's already forgotten because of the cats and dogs in Ohio quote.

That's ALWAYS been the problem with this guy. He says some batshit insane babble on Monday, and by Friday all everyone can talk about is the more insane thing he said on Wednesday. Then by Sunday, he's on another rant, or dancing at a town hall meeting, or feeding basketball champions hours cold McDonalds in the white house, or building a wall that was so poorly constructed it was easily knocked down by children using one arm. Or sending unmarked vans to kidnap legal citizens to deport and/or kill them.

He sometimes does pointless stuff. He sometimes does evil stuff. Either way, you forget about round 1 quickly, because you're on round 57 in 2 months.

I'm just making myself angry typing this, that I don't even remember what my own point was in typing real world examples of what he's done in the past 8 years.

And the scary part is......he's not even the final form. Even if you hate the guy, you can still admit he's not caused as much damage as he'd like to. Even if he goes away in 2025 after an election loss, he wasn't the end goal. He was the begining. He was the blueprint. Trump is incompetent. But what if someone just as evil, but fully aware of how to get things done runs in 2028?

Yes, vote in 2024. But as exausting as it is, it's NOT the end. Even if we win. I'm just exausted. Mentally, emotionally, at times physically. I'm just drained at the thought that I'll likely never see happy times in my lifetime. Never had them before, doesn't look like I ever will.

These republicans should stop worrying about women having abortions, and start worrying about people like me. Men who have decided long ago that they're NEVER having children. I don't want to ever bring another life into this misery. Forget the abortion. She'll never even be pregnant to start with. Really wish MY parents would have had that same mindset seeing how evil reagan was. This isn't new. This isn't surprising that it's happening. What's surprising is it hasn't been dealt with yet.

[–] InverseParallax@lemmy.world 3 points 1 month ago

Compared to what he did say:

https://www.axios.com/2024/10/23/john-kelly-trump-hitler

https://www.rollingstone.com/politics/politics-news/trump-raged-soldier-funeral-hitler-generals-1235140426/

https://www.newsweek.com/did-donald-trump-praise-hitler-what-we-know-1973401

Journalists Peter Baker and Susan Glasser said in their 2022 book The Divider: Trump in the White House, 2017-2021 that Trump had asked Kelly "why can't you be like the German generals?" When Kelly replied that German generals "tried to kill Hitler three times and almost pulled it off" Trump reportedly replied: "No, no, no, they were totally loyal to him."

Thank God he still has the unswerving support of the states of the former confederacy.

[–] Coskii@lemmy.blahaj.zone 20 points 1 month ago

The onion has been cranking out bangers the past couple decades.

[–] lone_faerie@lemmy.blahaj.zone 18 points 1 month ago

The Onion has gotten to the point where its headlines are true with the satire being only in the body of the article. He has accused her of lying about having a job in the White House. He thinks he won the election so she's not the VP

[–] zephorah@lemm.ee 17 points 1 month ago

The problem with onion articles about Trump is that Cluster B thing again. The articles are all perfectly plausible within the context of his personal alternative reality wrought of untreated mental illness.

[–] saltesc@lemmy.world -5 points 1 month ago (2 children)

Getting desperate. No one would care if Harris worked a junior role there or not. Almost no one would care about their job history in general.

[–] Lost_My_Mind@lemmy.world 9 points 1 month ago

I don't know man....I heard trump worked at McDonalds "fry counter".

Yes, big sarcastic airquotes there.

[–] 200ok@lemmy.world 3 points 1 month ago (1 children)

There's a nuance about qualifications, particularly for women of colour.

You might not mean anything by your comment, but I wanted to mention it for others who might try to read between the lines.

[–] saltesc@lemmy.world 2 points 1 month ago

Oh, yeah. I forgot Ametica is racist so people do think about those things there.