this post was submitted on 02 Oct 2024
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The Onion

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The Onion

A place to share and discuss stories from The Onion, Clickhole, and other satire.

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[–] JoYo@lemmy.ml 202 points 2 weeks ago

The Onion and its six-member editorial board do not listen to outsiders. Nor do we listen to data, facts, polls, the U.S. government, or the widely panned Geneva Conventions.

[–] Moops@fedia.io 182 points 2 weeks ago (3 children)

$50 that Trump rages about this in the next 24 hours thinking Biden is still running.

[–] UFO64@lemmy.world 72 points 2 weeks ago

Suckers bet, I’m not taking it.

[–] Late2TheParty@lemmy.world 19 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

How will you be able to tell? His speeches are so incoherent! Hahqhahqha

[–] BigFatNips@sh.itjust.works 19 points 2 weeks ago
[–] m4xie@lemmy.blahaj.zone 3 points 1 week ago

I want people to send this to him now!

[–] lobut@lemmy.ca 142 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

But The Onion and its six-member editorial board do not listen to outsiders. Nor do we listen to data, facts, polls, the U.S. government, or the widely panned Geneva Conventions.

I love it.

[–] ByteOnBikes 50 points 2 weeks ago (3 children)

Finally someone said it. I'm tired of the country of Geneva enforcing its conventions on me and how I approach wars.

[–] JackbyDev@programming.dev 10 points 2 weeks ago

Stop telling me what color shapes I can and cannot use, Geneva!

[–] DokPsy@lemmy.world 9 points 2 weeks ago

Calm down Canada.

[–] CptEnder@lemmy.world 6 points 2 weeks ago

/c/NCD leaking

[–] TheImpressiveX@lemmy.ml 119 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

Joe Biden may be young by Washington standards

They really aren't pulling their punches!

[–] elucubra@sopuli.xyz 2 points 1 week ago

The whole thing is brilliant. The Onion has been on fire lately.

[–] hopesdead@startrek.website 101 points 2 weeks ago (2 children)

I guess none of you noticed the editorial board has a signature from Ted Kaczynski, aka Unabomber.

[–] WalrusDragonOnABike@lemmy.today 66 points 2 weeks ago (2 children)
[–] hopesdead@startrek.website 18 points 2 weeks ago (4 children)

I have never actually read The Onion, I just like seeing their headlines.

[–] WalrusDragonOnABike@lemmy.today 23 points 2 weeks ago

There's some fun articles. Although I think they frequently drag on a little too long for a gag given my preference for not reading more than a few paragraphs at a time.

[–] Lost_My_Mind@lemmy.world 8 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

I need to wake up. I went to sleep drunk, I woke up feeling still drunk.

I read your username as "DopeSalad"

Thats not even CLOSE!

[–] hopesdead@startrek.website 2 points 2 weeks ago

Don’t worry. It’s nothing serious anyways. There is a band named Hopesfall. I thought it was dumb so I came up with that.

[–] ByteOnBikes 2 points 2 weeks ago

They're now in newspaper format again, if that helps!

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[–] affiliate@lemmy.world 12 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

pretty incredible that they managed to get his signature even though he’s dead

[–] nexguy@lemmy.world 11 points 2 weeks ago

That's only of you listen to data. Stop listening to data.

[–] expatriado@lemmy.world 70 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

upset at myself for taking a whole 10 seconds to get the joke

[–] 0ops@lemm.ee 16 points 2 weeks ago

It took me like 15 😭

[–] BigMacHole@lemm.ee 50 points 2 weeks ago

I'm a Republican who Does Her Own Research and I TOLD you Libtards that Biden was still in the Race! The whole Kamala thing was a SHAM! HOW can they Endorse Biden if he isn't running STUPIDS!

[–] Wahots@pawb.social 41 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

Lest readers doubt the value of our endorsement, we ask them to remember 2016, when voter complacency almost put Hillary Clinton in the White House before The Onion stepped in. 

We really dodged a bullet on that one! (/j)

[–] frezik@midwest.social 5 points 2 weeks ago

The Onion wanted to play on hard mode. How do you write satire when that shit head was in the White House?

[–] Dadifer@lemmy.world 17 points 2 weeks ago (3 children)
[–] InverseParallax@lemmy.world 76 points 2 weeks ago (3 children)

You might know him for his academic papers.

[–] atocci@lemmy.world 44 points 2 weeks ago

Among other works

[–] motor_spirit@lemmy.world 9 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

you joke but this is how he's brightly discussed in some circles lol I have seen some concerning publications that refer to him as uncle Ted and other light-hearted names in a similar context

[–] XeroxCool@lemmy.world 5 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

Seems like it's up there with the killdozer Fandom. Casual terrorism... Or living the American dream?

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[–] DamienGramatacus@lemmy.world 7 points 2 weeks ago

And his cake having tendancies

[–] kboy101222@sh.itjust.works 7 points 2 weeks ago (4 children)

Yeah, the mathematician. What about him?

!it's a running gag for the onion!<

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[–] WrenFeather@lemmy.world 12 points 2 weeks ago

This is a great joke! It took me a second even after I saw the source. Well done!

[–] tacosanonymous@lemm.ee 11 points 2 weeks ago (2 children)

I think Internet Explorer is in for him too.

[–] Sterile_Technique@lemmy.world 4 points 2 weeks ago

Naw, they're rooting for Eisenhower.

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[–] Alsephina@lemmy.ml 5 points 2 weeks ago

Hell yeah I'm writing him in

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