So, I'll start with heteronormativity Is annoying. Like whya re any 2 people of opposite genders evoected to be interested in each other romantically, do cishets not know what friendship is?

To cisnormativity I don't really have that much to say apart from please stop being transphobic

Monogamy normativity also pisses me off to no end. No idea how to write this down but waow, stop having love < s and just do polyamoury in your fiction. The option is right fucking there

The cishets(tm) are strange and confusing, why am I so angry lol

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[–] LallyLuckFarm@beehaw.org 8 points 2 months ago

As a monogamous cishetflex guy, I would offer a hug or other platonic physical comforting gesture to you and say "I dunno, people are weird. Don't let us get you down".

To your point about gender being uncountably infinite, I agree with you - particularly because my gender is only defined by my singular relationship to how I perceive myself (and I think everybody comes to that in their own way). There's a certain subset of "everyone" that just can't grok that someone else could have a different understanding of themselves, and a nonzero percentage of them feels like those differences of opinions devalue their existence for one reason or another. It's totally unwarranted and not the case, but it sucks when they act on those feelings to denigrate another person.

I'm sad that you're getting down about it, but I also want to encourage you - you grappling with this is going to strengthen who you are and I'm really excited for that person.

[–] SweetCitrusBuzz@beehaw.org 6 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago) (1 children)

Agreed, though technically there aren't really 'opposite' genders, if there ever were, it's seen as a social construct and centers the binary and that women exist as opposites to men, which isn't quite accurate and something we should try to move beyond.

Yeah, cisnormativity actually plays into that too and yes is also annoying.

Just to help a little here, hope that's okay, it's called Mononormativity, you don't have to spell out the whole word 🙂. As a relationship anarchist and ethical nonmonogamist I completely agree, see my rant about it here: !relationshipanarchy@slrpnk.net (sadly the client I use is being annoying and not letting me copy the link to the post directly).

[–] sleepybisexual@beehaw.org 7 points 2 months ago

Yea. "Opposite' sees a binary.

The way I see it gender is a 0 to 1 and the infinite decimals in between. There is infinite gender between the " binary"

Am likely wrong tho.

Will take a look at the relationship thing

[–] jarfil@beehaw.org 4 points 2 months ago

I have to come to the defense of orthonormativity. I know the allure of coming up with your own way of writing stuff, but a shared orthographic frame helps communication, while the opposite comes through as careless dumping of the effort to decode a message onto each and every one of the recipients.

[–] elfpie@beehaw.org 4 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago) (1 children)

The first one might involve amatonormativity as well. This and the failures of not using polyamory when all parts are completely in sync really bothers me. I'll forever be thankful for having Joan and Sherlock from Elementary, even if they are borderline codependent.

[–] sleepybisexual@beehaw.org 1 points 2 months ago (1 children)

I'm kinda confused, what do toh mean BT "this and the daliures of polysmory"?

And is Amatonormativity the erasureorf aro people or what is it?

[–] elfpie@beehaw.org 2 points 2 months ago (1 children)

It should have been the failures of not using polyamory. And you're right about amatonormativity being the erasure of aro people, even ace in general I would argue.

[–] sleepybisexual@beehaw.org 2 points 2 months ago

Oh oki :3