We wouldnt be in this mess if the fucking philosopher hadnt come up with it.

You obviously didn't used your flashlight when you searched for philosophy and the others ^^

You are in a pitch-black room and hear a noise. A noise you can't describe properly, you've never heard or seen this creature before but it has a high pitched wail.

A man called Philosophy walks in the room. He hears the cry and takes some time to think. He names this creature the cat and deduces that it must be as big as a bear and as fierce as a lion. This creature must be dangerous. He tells you stories about strange exotic creatures, ones with black fur and long tails. These creatures have nails as sharp as swords and mean only harm. He tells you to stay back and listen to his thoughts as he contemplates more.

Then another man called Theology walks in. He too hears the creature yelling. Over some time, he begins to listen to the different tones of the noise this creature makes. He hears a shriek and thinks it's telling you to get back. It hears a purr and tells you it's playful. He begins to think it's communicating and assigns meaning to the creature's noise. He tells you to have faith in his belief and to follow the creatures demands. He tells you to offer tithes and sacrifices so you too can find meaning in this creature.

And, finally, a last man named Science walks into the room. He hears the cat and listens to the others propositions. He sets up ways to test his hypotheses. He thinks the cat must be big, so he throws some food near the creature and hears its footsteps; they aren't stomps, they are something more elegant. He no longer thinks he and Philosophy were correct. Because he thinks it's no longer big, he walks up to the creature and tries to get a closer look. He gets bitten and falls back to the others. Over time he tells you that Theology and Philosophy were right on some things and wrong on the others. He admits that he can be wrong himself but will correct and change his understand of this creature as he learns. He also offers little answers to the creature's as the others. You don't understand exactly how he works, you are merely a layman with little education.

So, which of the men do you believe?

The old Dave Allen joke about this

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GS3BZs5fx3Q

Stoopid.

a fucking flashlight you say? how would that help finding a cat?

"any. fuckin'. questions?"

• Jeff Tiedrich