this post was submitted on 04 Aug 2023
26 points (100.0% liked)

Transfem

3437 readers
118 users here now

A community for transfeminine people and experiences.

This is a supportive community for all transfeminine or questioning people. Anyone is welcome to participate in this community but disrupting the safety of this space for trans feminine people is unacceptable and will result in moderator action.

Debate surrounding transgender rights or acceptance will result in an immediate ban.

Posters may express that they are looking for responses and support from groups with certain experiences (eg. trans people, trans people with supportive parents, trans parents.). Please respect those requests and be mindful that your experience may differ from others here.

To make such a request, at the start of the body of your post, not in the title, the first line should look like the this: [Requesting Engagement from _________]

Some helpful links:

Support Hotlines:

founded 1 year ago
MODERATORS
LadyAutumn@lemmy.blahaj.zone
ada@lemmy.blahaj.zone
26
Love vs Support (lemmy.blahaj.zone)
submitted 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) by EsheLynn@lemmy.blahaj.zone to c/mtf@lemmy.blahaj.zone
4 comments fedilink hide all child comments
 

TW: (perceived?) Transphobia

So. I had a shit day yesterday. Doomscrolling my home page on YouTube and found a short. I commented on the author, cuz he seems like he thinks hes some kind of parasocial psychology expert or something, cuz I thought I could give my perspective on my recent transition journey and be met with intelligent discourse.

All I was met with is some variation of "poor wife" or "you aren't telling the whole story." Then the invasion of the shitheels that have been spouting transphobic nonsense here.

Tried to take a bath today to reset my brain. (I get baths now. It's kinda like meditation for me.) I didn't have any tops I felt comfortable wearing, so I went to the thrift store and found.... Nothing.

"How does this relate to the title?" you find yourself asking. Well, if you remember, I made a post the other day about seeing my mom. About thinking it went well.

I asked today if at some point in the future, she would help me learn makeup and nails and whatever.

I think you're confusing with me loving you and accepting this. I'm not supporting this decision

What The Fuck.

The one other person I thought I could go to for help, other than my ex, and I get rejected, again?

I just feel so isolated. I have no female role models to try to help me be myself, no trusted women in my life. Tried going on nextdoor and introducing myself in a gay group, cuz I wanted to try to be involved with my local LGBT group, and was met with "okay, but are you gay?" Even tho I laid out I was trans in my intro post. I guess it was gay in the guys looking for guys sense, not a homosexual support/ friend network like I thought.

I've got an appointment with my social worker (mental health) on the seventh, but this week has got me so fucked up.

I don't want my kids to help me, and I don't know why. I guess it's just my parental mental block, that I'm supposed to take care of them, not the other way around? I just wanted a woman I love and support to love and support me. To learn from the masters haha. I guess I gotta watch YouTube tutorials and ask strangers for fashion advice I guess? Instead of getting personal care from people I thought cared?

top 4 comments
sorted by: hot top controversial new old
[–] NoStressyJessie@lemmy.blahaj.zone 6 points 1 year ago

I’m on my own with makeup and nail’s and all that.

At least on the positive side of things i get to enjoy learning how to express myself my way instead of dealing with 70 years of learned baggage and other people’s expectations of what is proper.

One thing I’ve learned folding laundry with partners is there’s a million ways to skin a cat, and most people only like a certain way.

You get to explore what you like without the extra baggage of such “timeless” advice as "ladies pinch, whores use rouge".

[–] stella@lemmy.blahaj.zone 1 points 1 year ago

🫂

[–] analisys@beehaw.org 1 points 1 year ago

Sending hugs to you dear. It'll get better 😘

[–] Triasha@lemmy.blahaj.zone 1 points 1 year ago

This is so hard.

First, it's OK to distance yourself from "I love you, but I can't support what you are doing."

My mother was devastated when I came out. But after seeing that I was serious about transition and she could either get on the boat or be left behind, she decided that she should offer some help with clothes and dressing nice. She introduced me as her daughter these days. She hasn't said anything shitty in over half a decade.

Second isolation is ok for safety, but not a long term strategy. Be nice to people, ask for help when you can, and you should meet women that will help you. Seek out queer spaces and navigate them as best you can. A trans woman taught me 95% of everything I know about makeup. My wife taught me nails when we started dating.

I'm sorry you are being hurt. It's not fair and you don't deserve it. Feel free to pm me if you ever want to chat, or vent, or share your stories. I love yo tell my own.