this post was submitted on 06 Jun 2024
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Lemmy Shitpost

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Welcome to Lemmy Shitpost. Here you can shitpost to your hearts content.

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top 21 comments
sorted by: hot top controversial new old
[โ€“] db2@lemmy.world 46 points 5 months ago (1 children)

A big brown dripping hot sausage. ๐Ÿ˜ˆ

[โ€“] over_clox@lemmy.world 13 points 5 months ago

You had me at dripping.. ๐Ÿ’ฆ

[โ€“] Track_Shovel 37 points 5 months ago (3 children)

This, legitimately, is what would happen to me. This kind of shit comprises the vast majority of my life story.

Fuck

[โ€“] telllos@lemmy.world 9 points 5 months ago (1 children)

Don't cook homemade caramel.

[โ€“] dalekcaan@lemm.ee 1 points 5 months ago

AKA confectioners napalm

[โ€“] steal_your_face@lemmy.ml 2 points 5 months ago (1 children)
[โ€“] Track_Shovel 2 points 5 months ago

If my hairline keeps migrating, i may look like him soon

You know what got me to stop wearing contacts for good? Bacon grease popped directly into my eye.

[โ€“] rockerface@lemm.ee 25 points 5 months ago (1 children)

Could be worse, could be burn from hot candied nuts. Try explaining that one

[โ€“] Droggelbecher@lemmy.world 4 points 5 months ago

I've got a scar on my foot from a splash of caramel fresh from the pan

[โ€“] over_clox@lemmy.world 23 points 5 months ago (1 children)

If the sausage grease is boiling hot, someone might need to see a doctor...

[โ€“] Death_Equity@lemmy.world 2 points 5 months ago

Don't demonic possession shame people. They are vessels and can't choose the nature of the spirit that has taken their mortal form.

[โ€“] wesker@lemmy.sdf.org 13 points 5 months ago

Don't use your teeth!

[โ€“] slingstone@lemmy.world 11 points 5 months ago (1 children)

It's not the herp, it's the derp.

Por que no los dos? Even Wizards get it from their parents.

[โ€“] Sam_Bass@lemmy.world 9 points 5 months ago (1 children)

I always poke them with a fork first to relieve pressure

Forking does relieve pressure.

[โ€“] Leate_Wonceslace@lemmy.dbzer0.com 6 points 5 months ago* (last edited 5 months ago)

"Is that a blister or a coldsore?"

> I got it by getting squirt by a hot sausage.

"Do you have any idea how little that narrows it down?"

[โ€“] CurlyWurlies4All 5 points 5 months ago

You people bake your sausages?

[โ€“] shasta@lemm.ee 4 points 5 months ago

So "hot food". Problem solved.

[โ€“] kyle@lemm.ee 2 points 5 months ago

Amateur move! Gotta be careful around hot sausage splooge.