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I'm not trying to be obtuse, but isn't that essentially what being transgender means?
Nope. That’s just people living their identities. You and I don’t get to decide who they are.
The reason "men identifying as women" isn't a correct description of transgender women is because "men" and "women" can't have two simultaneous definitions in that sentence. It adds confusion and is essentially a dog-whistle for educated bigots while also incorrectly portraying it as a sort of paradox so simple minded or uneducated bigots can feel like it's some sort of obvious contradiction that libruls are too dumb to realize.
You're using "men" to describe gender-assigned-at-birth and you're using "women" in the context of our modern scientific understanding of gender identity. Either you accept contemporary science and so they're not "men" doing the identifying, or you reject modern scientific understanding and conclude that it's just some silly men that think they're women and what next they'll identity as trees lol what if I identify as a billionaire lol.
I see. What's the correct modern science word for "adult male (XY)", if not "man"?