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Of Biblical Proportions (startrek.website)

submitted 5 months ago by charonn0@startrek.website to c/jokes@lemmy.world

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An elderly Catholic priest dies one night peacefully in his sleep after a long life of serving God, and finds himself standing at the pearly gates.

"You were such a pious and holy man in life," began St. Peter, "that as a reward you can make one request of me before leaving behind your worldly cares and entering heaven."

"Well," says the priest, "I'd like to read the original manuscript of the Bible."

Even more impressed now than before, St. Peter grants the request and takes the priest to God's own private library, before leaving him to his studies.

Shortly afterward, the priest lets out an unholy shriek. St. Peter rushes into the library and asks, "what is it? What's wrong?!"

And through gritted teeth and streams of tears the priest cried out: "Celebrate! It says celebrate, not celibate!"

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[–] KevonLooney@lemm.ee 14 points 5 months ago

True. I believe the celibacy thing is to prevent bishops from accruing wealth and leaving it to their sons. The church wanted the money. Similar to how Henry the 8th created the Anglican Church to get a divorce, plus all the church properties and tithes.

As usual, religious conflicts are based on earthly concerns.