this post was submitted on 04 Jul 2024
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This one is tough. I don't believe I'd have had the strength to do it before I had kids. I really wanted to be a dad and I wanted my "own" kids. The idea of forming a relationship with a single mother was also mega daunting to younger me.
But now that I've gone the traditional route, I could absolutely imagine the "other path" to happiness. I can recognise that I'd have loved it had I met my wife and kids as a package and joined the family. I don't love them because they have my DNA. I love them because they're my kids.
It'll depend on the age(s) of the kid(s), but to a kid is under 5, they won't remember a time before you were in their life. You won't be an outsider, you'll just be "dad".