I have a lot of experience and I am very LGBTQ+ friendly. I only label as extremists those who push beyond the bounds of, "Everyone has rights, gender is a social construct and you can identify as whatever you want" into denying that male and female are things or claiming that identifying as a woman somehow magically makes you female. The whole, "You can't question what we believe or you're a transphobe" is EXACTLY the same as, "You can't question the actions of the state of Israel or you're an antisemite." It's utter nonsense. Those are both examples of extremism.

Sorry...I didn't answer these parts of your comment.

One tactic that I like is asking them questions that lead them to point out the flaws in their own arguments. https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Socratic_method

They have a carefully rehearsed circular logical set of arguments that are self-confirming. I can explain and explain and explain but it doesn't confirm their bias so they just keep going around in circles. I don't expect to reach them but I may help someone who isn't so closed minded to understand.

My daughter goes to pride festivals every year as a vendor in the market. Last year was hopping. This year was dead. My wife and I wondered if all the pushing to force biological males into the places that biological females fought for decades to get wasn't turning a lot of people off. That would be extremely sad since the LGBTQ+ community has worked so hard to get to where it is now.

Would you be more or less likely to learn from someone that calls you an extremist?

I have Asperger's so I don't care what people call me (other than calling me a transphobe or antisemite with the new definitions written by the extremists.) If they're making a cogent argument I will generally respond in kind.