this post was submitted on 18 Jun 2024
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I will never understand the drama over the word "female".
I set up a doctor's appointment the other day, and I was asked if I had a doctor preference. I responded and said "I'd prefer a female doctor." According to the internet, apparently I should have asked for a "woman doctor".
Reversing the gender, I'd be asking for either a "male doctor" or a "man doctor". I will literally never use the phrase "I'd prefer a man doctor, please." Because it has weird connotations, and doesn't even roll off the tongue as well.
So because I believe in male/female equality, I am necessarily required to treat them the same, with similar varieties of words.
So what's the problem? Give me a reason why I should use the less technical versions of words that invoke social-gender-stereotypes when I want to avoid all of that entirely.
You've been told (probably at length) what women in general prefer to be called. It's probably even been explained to you. Your feigning ignorance about why is just saying that you don't find those answers satisfactory.
You're free to call women "females" and you can justify it however you want, just like I'm free to allow absolutely zero people who refer to me as "female" (outside of very limited clinical circumstances) to touch my tits.
I assume there are also other criteria as well?
Lol yeah, there is quite a bit of criteria.
Would you say 'women doctor' in this scenario?
I actually say "lady doctor." Because I do prefer a doctor who is a woman and "lady doctor" sounds fancy.
E: Last male doctor I had told me that it was "just" an ovarian cyst and it "shouldn't hurt that much" so I should take some aspirin and I'd be able to work tomorrow. So yeah. Lady doctor for me.
But what if you are in country where aristocracy doesn't exist?
I do exist in such a country! But I was recently called "quirky" so I guess take my advice as you will.
Weird of you to continue the argument at this point really
It was a genuine question. I have no argument here. I don't know the best term in this situation.
If people prefer "women doctor" then call them "women doctor".
U speaking for the people now?
Your comment made me curious so I checked and 235 comments in 3 days? Wow! You must really enjoy whatever it is you're trying to accomplish here. Good luck with this endeavor!
Thank you!
It ain't much, but it's honest work!
You do you, and you may have any preferences to words you like and people who are allowed to touch your tits.
I'm personally out of the loop on the entire "female debate". Please do not assume everyone in the world knows everything about it perfectly well. (I'm not original commenter though, can't comment on that).
Do women find this term objectifying, like a female animal seen in biology primarily from a reproductive side or something? Does it feel like you're not treated as a deep and complex human and minimized to a sex object?
That's what I can probably come up with as a first thought.
Personally, I just use terms "male" and "female" where they normally traditionally fit within the language, and I use them for both men and women. I have never seen males reacting negatively to be called that, but I've seen many females triggered, which is curious to me.
Maybe women are responding "triggered" because you sound like a fucking dick?
"I refer to women in a demeaning and shitty way. In a way that makes them seem like they are below me. And they tend to be so triggered by it. Hmmm so curious. 🧐"
Does that not trigger something in your tiny brain? Do you not think "Hmmm... Maybe they don't like it. I should stop doing it as to not be a piece of shit."
OR you enjoy it when are a bully and enjoy it when people get upset at you for being shitty to them.
So it's either you have the intelligence of a tennis ball, or you're a fucking dick.
You should reflect on that.
Nah, you (and apparently a shitton of people who disliked the previous comment into oblivion) made a lot of assumptions about me, and the only reason I'm having this tone is exactly in response to such aggressive actions.
I must assume this is due to the use of the words "curious" and "females" in the last sentence - first means I actually am curious to why is that and what stands behind it and want to better understand people, and second I had to use in contrast to males to demonstrate the similar situation causing two different reactions.
I am genuinely out of the loop, and it's just recently that I found a lot of opposition to the use of the word "female". I want to know what is standing behind that, as I didn't see the same reaction to the word "male", which is constantly used, even once, nor do I personally see any problem with it as a male.
I want people to stop assuming everyone is trying to hurt them and go on a full on crusade against people who are genuinely curious on what's behind it or are unknowingly doing something offensive.
Instead, I get yet another attack. If you are truly enlightened on the source of such reactions, I'd rather have you explain it to me, so I would know more on why is it exactly such a problem, and how massive it is.
Referencing my tiny brain or my character isn't gonna cut it, and by that you'll keep people out of the loop and radicalized by such an attitude, which commonly leads to the effect opposite to what you're trying to have.
I will not suddenly change my understanding of the situation by people yelling and downvoting. I can come at the issue with empathy if people could explain the situation.
I truly want to build bridges here and get to the bottom of the issue that started the conflict around the word in the first place.
I'm not reading all of that. Stop being a baby and listen to people when they say they don't like you calling them something. I very much doubt this is the first time you were asked to not use the word "female" when talking to a woman.
If you're not signing some important document or in a medical setting, don't talk to women and use the word female on them. It makes you sound like a demeaning dick.
"I just don't understand why females do this" "Please stop calling us females. It makes it sound like we are less than men. Just call us women." "Oh okay, no problem."
Tadaaa. Problem fixed. Not that big of a deal.
"I'm not reading all of that"
Could have stopped there. Ignorance is bliss, huh? Allows you to rage on someone who literally explained they didn't mean any offensive behavior and were genuinely asking.
But you do you, even if you rage first and read later.
You're incredibly patient. I commend you, really.
No idea what's going on as well, by the way.
Thanks :)
You're just choosing to be outraged for the sake of drama. I'm sorry if one person in your past has called you a "female" offensively, but lets consider moving on from it.
It's just a word. It's not a slur.
The word "woman" is not any better, and even has its own issues with preconceptions. Every time you come across someone who is trying to be stereotypically traditional and enforce any idea of classic societal gender roles, they refer to themselves as a MAN or a WOMAN.
Because I generally interact with people who are uncomfortable being assigned traditional gender roles, it's more comfortable to think of them as their biological sex--male or female, so that I am not projecting gender stereotypes on them
Now why don't you chill out?
Oh fuck off. You know damn well it sounds like you think women are below you when you use "female" in all these contexts. Multiple people have told you you sound like a dick when saying "female". But you just won't accept it. Your comment history makes you sound completely insufferable...
Just accept and learn and stop trying to die on this hill because of your ridiculous ego.
Lmfao. Dude, calling me offended and telling me to chill out doesn't work anymore. Trolling has evolved.
I explained to you patiently where your mistake is, and you sent me a wall of text about why you should be allowed to refer to a whole group of people by a word they don't like.
That happened lmao. You just made this the fuck up
Dude, I'm a furry. Most of my friends are gay, trans, or some form of LGBTQ+ or non-binary who do not conform to typical gender or societal stereotypes.
Stop being a piece of shit lmao
All those males and females who are your friends? Lmao no you stop
"This guy says the word female so he must not have any friends" -- This guy, apparently.
You're dumb.
No, you're dumb!
There's a difference between using it as an adjective and a noun.
Requesting "a female doctor" is not as bad as requesting "a female."
I also couldn't think of a more clinical setting than a doctor's clinic
Silly comment. I prefer female doctors because I like their personalies better, and I believe that their medical knowledge is equal to a male doctor's knowledge. It's also less weird to me to be touched by a member my preferred gender. My reasons are absolutely not related to any clinical reasoning.
You literally used the example of a doctor to disagree with someone saying it's clinical, I just thought it was funny so made a joke.
And why so serious? Reply to the other person who was actually making a serious point if you want that
Adjective vs noun. Noun-izing some adjectives makes them sound like a slur
A black doctor vs a black.
A Jewish doctor vs a jew.
A female doctor vs a female.
Thanks for the explanation. It's too bad it's seen as a slur, as it's really useful to group women and girls with one word. As is "male", for men and boys. This one doesn't appear to be seen as a slur, though.
My understanding is that its less about the word itself and more about the usage in contrast to how the same person refers to men. Males will be men, dudes, bros, etc. but they'll only refer to women as females. Usually with a thinly veiled distain. "All these dudes just hanging out but the FEMALES are fighting." or some shit.
As usual, it's male pieces of shit ruining everything for everyone else.
I'm in my 30s and I've never met a single person in my entire life who refers to women as "the females". I work in a highly male-dominated field full of country boys, for reference.
I've not personally met someone like that either, but I AM terminally online and see it a lot. It's usually Andrew Tate enjoyer types.
I'm in my 30's and haven't heard it out in the real world either, but that's probably because the assortment of individuals who use females as a pejorative either don't use it in public because it's cringe and they know it, or because they don't go outside.
That's only my educated guess though.
When I worked in an FLGS I heard it from customers quite often, which we would always try to nudge them in another direction. It's not the "country boys" who say it, it's the 4chan/incel/Alpha-male set.
I noticed during my business trip to Australia that the toilets were labeled male/female. It sounded weird in my head for some reason.
Now imagine other languages that don't have female-woman difference.
I prefer my doctor be a man, personally
Is there some reason for some preferences? ~~Do you prefer all men or just doctors?~~