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What's the hardest lesson you've learned? (lemmy.blahaj.zone)

submitted 5 months ago by Samvega@lemmy.blahaj.zone to c/asklemmy@lemmy.ml

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Interpret 'hardest' however suits you. Look forward to your answers!

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[–] unn@lemmy.ca 10 points 5 months ago (1 children)

No one's worth my wellbeing. My happiness comes first. Be self suficient for my own happiness. Nobody's special.

[–] Samvega@lemmy.blahaj.zone 3 points 5 months ago* (last edited 5 months ago) (1 children)

If your happiness comes first then it is because you are special. Which means that everybody is special.

Now at that time King Pasenadi of Kosala was upstairs in the royal longhouse together with Queen Mallikā.

Then the king said to the queen, “Mallikā, is there anyone more dear to you than yourself?”

“No, great king, there isn’t. But is there anyone more dear to you than yourself?”

“For me also, Mallikā, there’s no-one.”

Then King Pasenadi of Kosala came downstairs from the stilt longhouse, went to the Buddha, bowed, sat down to one side, and told him what had happened.

Then, understanding this matter, on that occasion the Buddha recited this verse:

“Having explored every quarter with the mind, one finds no-one dearer than oneself. Likewise for others, each holds themselves dear; so one who cares for their own welfare would harm no other.”

https://suttacentral.net/sn3.8/en/sujato?lang=en&layout=plain&reference=none&notes=asterisk&highlight=false&script=latin

[–] unn@lemmy.ca 3 points 5 months ago

If your happiness comes first then it is because you are special.

I was going to write that, but left it out to not sound pretentious. Because I had no self love, I used to consider people who I loved special, but they ended up being incredible mean and detrimental to me. Even Christian Divine figures have disappointed me. So I learned the hard way the only special being to me should be myself.